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Books & Novels Pro Wrestling (Books) Sports (Books) WWF/WWE (Pro Wrestling)

WWE ULTIMATE SUPERSTAR GUIDE

Written by Steve Pantaleo & Illustrated by Daz Tibbles

SUMMARY:

Published by DK/BradyGAMES and WWE Books in 2015, this 208-page hardcover pairs cartoony color portraits and brief character bios/stats for approximately two hundred male and female pro wrestlers spanning multiple generations.  Each portrait is accompanied by a thumbnail upper-body photo of the actual wrestler.  As applicable, also tagged for each biography are individual honors such as: WWE Intercontinental Champion; WWE World Champion; King of the Ring winner; Money in the Bank winner; Royal Rumble winner; U.S. Heavyweight Champion; Women’s/Divas Champion; (NWA or WCW) World Heavyweight Champion; WWE World Tag Team Champion; and, of course, WWE Hall of Famer. 

REVIEW:

Though somewhat outdated, this fun ‘superstar guide’ embellishes this WWE roster to full-fledged cartoon status, at least judging by the impressive comic book-style portraits.   Some high-profile names (i.e. Owen Hart) aren’t included for various contractual and/or legal reasons.  The larger-than-life, single-page portraits seem reminiscent of the WWE All-Stars arcade-style video game. 

Controversial elements of various storylines are wisely omitted from the biographies, though one unsavory tidbit re: Big Boss Man is inexplicably included as a side note on his page.  Still, this book’s wonky sense of alphabetical order means that most of the wrestlers are alphabetized by their first names and or even by a nickname, such as “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan being oddly listed in the ‘H’s.’  

Meant for avid 10-and-under pro wrestling fans, the WWE Ultimate Superstar Guide is generally well-played.  

ADDITIONAL CONTENT:

There is a two-page introduction that includes an explanation re: the icons designating various individual honors. 

ROSCOE & BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 8 Stars

Categories
Books & Novels History & Biographies (Books) Pro Wrestling (Books) Sports (Books) WWF/WWE (Pro Wrestling)

TRIBUTES II: REMEMBERING MORE OF THE WORLD’S GREATEST WRESTLERS

Written by Dave Meltzer of “The Wrestling Observer Newsletter”  

SUMMARY:

Published by Sports Publishing LLC in 2004, this 239-page hardcover sequel by pro wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer assembles posthumous biographical profiles of fifteen pro wrestling notables.  Of them, Owen Hart and André the Giant, previously appeared in the 2001 predecessor, but Tributes II revises their profiles.  The new profiles consists of: 

  • “Classy” Freddie Blassie; “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith; and “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig.
  • The Sheik; Stu Hart; Gorilla Monsoon; Johnny Valentine; Road Warrior Hawk; and Wahoo McDaniel.
  • “Mr. Wrestling” Tim Woods; Terry Gordy; Ms. Elizabeth; and Lou Thesz   

Meltzer’s biographies focus on each subject’s pro wrestling career and legacy re: the industry.  Anecdotes and reminiscences from their contemporaries are included.    

REVIEW:

More than an anthology of exploitative obituaries, this stylish sequel’s profiles don’t even include the years of birth and death. In some instances, the subject’s passing isn’t even mentioned. Yet, there are a few curious exceptions.  Case in point: in more depth than before, Meltzer re-examines Owen Hart’s controversial death in 1999.

Then, most of Elizabeth’s chapter describes her tragic demise in 2003 instead of conveying her 1980’s star power as Randy Savage’s glamorous spouse/on-screen manager.  While summarizing her career, Meltzer curiously doesn’t mention how a demure Elizabeth Hulette was well-regarded by her colleagues, though various wrestler memoirs (i.e. Bret Hart, Hulk Hogan) fondly do so.  

Another quirk is that WWE Hall-of-Famer Greg Valentine isn’t mentioned in his own father’s profile.  Instead, his dad’s eleven-page bio ends with a side box describing the senior Valentine’s propensity for disgusting pranks.  Of all places, Greg Valentine is briefly referenced as a co-worker in the bio on “Mr. Wrestling” Tim Woods, as Woods, Johnny Valentine, and Ric Flair were victims of a well-documented mid-1970’s plane crash.  

Still, Meltzer’s trivia bits are fun: i.e. McDaniel was the first-ever Miami Dolphin (and future President George H.W. Bush was his Little League coach); a young Bruno Sammartino once faced Thesz for the NWA World Title; Hennig preferred his WCW ‘West Texas Redneck’ gimmick over his WWE ‘Mr. Perfect’ persona; an elderly Thesz’s industry involvement into the 1990’s; and the list could go on.  Commentaries from Dory Funk Jr. & Terry Funk; “Superstar” Billy Graham; Bobby Heenan; Nick Bockwinkel; Bret Hart & Ross Hart; Bill Watts; and Michael Hayes, among others, prove keenly insightful.  Archival quotes from the subjects themselves (i.e. McDaniel) further bolster this book’s impressive depth.        

Meltzer’s propensity for anecdotes, however, muddles some wandering narratives jumping back and forth across several years.  Hence, a lack of an index is a head-shaking oversight. Suffice to say, the index in Tributes I was helpful. Still, Meltzer doesn’t play favorites, as these biographies are well-balanced and diligently pay respect to each subject’s contributions to pro wrestling.  

ADDITIONAL FEATURES:

Further bolstering this book’s credibility, Bret “Hit Man” Hart provides a thoughtful foreword.  In addition to acknowledgments and his own mini-autobiography, Meltzer delivers a helpful introduction.  Answering shoot-style questions on a DVD, Meltzer elaborates on many topics referenced in Tributes II

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 8 Stars

Categories
Books & Novels History & Biographies (Books) Pro Wrestling (Books) Sports (Books) WWF/WWE (Pro Wrestling)

TRIBUTES: REMEMBERING SOME OF THE WORLD’S GREATEST WRESTLERS

Written by Dave Meltzer of “The Wrestling Observer Newsletter”  

SUMMARY:

Published by Winding Stair Press in 2001, this 182-page hardcover by pro wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer pens posthumous biographical profiles honoring twenty pro wrestling notables, who passed away during the 1990’s.  Specifically, this volume reflects on:

  • Owen Hart; Brian Pillman; “Ravishing” Rick Rude; André the Giant; and Bruiser Brody.
  • Fritz Von Erich; Kerry Von Erich; Yokozuna; The Junkyard Dog; and Giant Baba.
  • “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers; “Big” John Studd; Ray Stevens; Louie Spicolli; and Art Barr.
  • “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert; Boris Malenko; Dino Bravo; Jumbo Tsuruta; and Gordon Solie.   

In straight-shooter fashion, Meltzer’s biographies explore each subject’s pro wrestling career, including his legacy re: the industry; and, to varying extents, the circumstances surrounding each death.   

REVIEW:

Mostly overcoming this project’s morbid aura, author Dave Meltzer somberly offers terrific journalism instead of exploiting glorified obituaries.  Within each biography, there is intriguing material re: how its subject has earned his place in pro wrestling’s controversial history.  Further, Meltzer readily acknowledges the dark irony of pro wrestling as a callous industry/fantasy sport that typically prioritizes greed and protecting other self-interests over any hint of compassion.  In some instances, Meltzer discusses (if not directly identifies) personal demons of his subjects, without reducing these matters to tabloid trash.  The author also readily acknowledges how some of them (i.e. Giant Baba, Owen Hart, Gordon Solie) were well-respected by their peers.     

Tributes, however, suffers from sporadic typos and occasional continuity gaffes (i.e. wrong dates; glaring run-on sentences) that hamper Meltzer’s narrative.  As well-researched as this retrospective is, Meltzer’s classy sequel, 2004’s Tributes II (which restructures the profiles of Owen Hart and André the Giant), is a better overall read. 

ADDITIONAL FEATURES:

Meltzer includes a dedication and acknowledgments.  Jeff Marek provides the foreword.  Meltzer’s index proves handy. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 7 Stars

Categories
Books & Novels Pro Wrestling (Books) Sports (Books) WWF/WWE (Pro Wrestling)

THE BUZZ ON PRO WRESTLING

Written by Scott Keith

SUMMARY:

Published by Lebhar-Friedman Books in 2001, this 217-page paperback is meant for casual fans and long-time fanatics alike.  Including a timeline of major events, the history of pro wrestling dating back more than a century is summarized.  Early chapters describe basic moves/holds, promos, ringside weapons of choice, money-making strategies, and industry lingo, as matters of common knowledge.  Biographies discuss these pivotal wrestlers: Hulk Hogan (parts I & II); Roddy Piper; Randy Savage; the British Bulldogs; the Honky Tonk Man; Ted DiBiase; Ric Flair (parts I & II); Lex Luger; and Sting – primarily re: the 1980’s.  

Exploring the mid-nineties, further biographies profile the Ultimate Warrior; Shawn Michaels; Kevin Nash; Scott Hall; Bret Hart; and the Undertaker.  The implosions dooming the AWA, WCCW, and Jim Crockett’s version of the NWA are also explained.  Hints of an error-prone WCW soon following them into oblivion proves accurate foresight.  The last leg covers the notorious ‘Monday Night Wars.’  Sections include biographies re: Eric Bischoff; the New World Order (NWO); The Rock; Triple H; Steve Austin; and Bill Goldberg.  As to its impact on both major wrestling companies, the WWE’s ‘Montreal Screwjob’ of 1997 is also explained.    

REVIEW:

Definitely well-written!  Even if a few scant details are incorrect (i.e. no, Roddy Piper wasn’t really born in Scotland), author Scott Keith’s research and related conjecture is spot-on, or, at a minimum, it’s plausible.  Readers get a pretty good sense of self-involved antics in an industry of professional egomaniacs.  To Keith’s credit, he doesn’t play favorites, as his snarky skepticism rightly jeers wrestling’s dubious 80’s-90’s misfires insulting its fanbase’s intelligence. 

Further, recurring incidents of backstage sabotage by notorious me-first guys like Hogan and Michaels add to the mayhem – it’s akin to discovering an addictively backstabbing soap opera lurking behind the soap opera.  Aside from an unnecessary photo re: Owen Hart’s fatal 1999 accident, this book’s only downside is that the material is outdated.  For wrestling buffs seeking a refreshingly down-to-earth blast from the past, Keith’s Buzz on Professional Wrestling is tough to pin.  More so, this Buzz deserves a chance for re-discovery.      

ADDITIONAL FEATURES:

Beyond a generous assortment of black-and-white photographs, there’s a helpful table of contents and index.  The author also acknowledges Dave Meltzer, Wade Keller, and Michael Samuda as among his sources.  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 8 Stars

Categories
Basketball Books & Novels Sports (Books)

THE BIG BOOK OF BASKETBALL: THE NBA ACCORDING TO THE SPORTS GUY

Written by Bill Simmons 

SUMMARY:

Released by Ballantine Books and ESPN Books in 2010, sports journalist Bill Simmons lets his hyper-active commentary rip in a 735-page softcover analysis of the NBA.  Overloaded with footnotes, Simmons begins with ‘The Secret’ of basketball (hint: unselfishness is a vital component).  He tackles the Russell vs. Chamberlain debate; and then an era-by-era breakdown of the NBA’s evolution.  Next up is his hypothetical ‘what-if’ scenario game where he imagines what likely might have occurred, had certain players had gone elsewhere; revised drafts and trades; and games that impacted the NBA’s future.  Simmons also examines various ‘MVP’ controversies and offers his proposed corrections.  

For chapters six through eleven, he literally rebuilds the Basketball Hall of Fame from the ground up, as if it were a pyramid.  Starting at the bottom, players that Simmons deems worthy are profiled, as he gradually works up four levels until there is his ‘Pantheon’ of the NBA’s thirteen greatest players at the peak.  Some players are profiled side-by-side, as Simmons compares, for instance, Charles Barkley vs. Karl Malone, Dan Issel vs. Artis Gilmore, and George Gervin vs. Sam Jones.  Near the end, which Simmons dubs “The Legend of Keyser Söze,” he analyzes the NBA’s greatest squads in terms of dominance, including how the present-day salary cap would have impacted them.  In “The Wine Cellar,” Simmons assembles an immortal team by cherry-picking players from their best seasons.     

The finale is a 2009 sit-down chat he shares with Bill Walton re: life after basketball and the deep meaning of that ‘Secret,’ as how it pertains to their perceptions of Kobe Bryant.

REVIEW:

There’s no question that the verbose Simmons crams multiple books into one.  His incessantly snarky humor alone is epic, as it even further permeates an unending stream of footnotes.  Still, there are several refreshing stretches, such as the Hall of Fame player profiles, that are worth perusing.  His flippancy (i.e. a footnote dig at George McGinnis’ hapless propensity for turnovers — or a reference to the 80’s NBA coach perms trend — straight from the ‘Mike Fratello collection’) is frequently LOL hilarious.  

Yet, an unrestrained Simmons doesn’t grasp when to finally shut up or refrain from locker room-caliber profanities and icky analogies.  His exuberant ridicule of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Vince Carter, and Rick Barry, among others, is amusing, but even Simmons acknowledges that his bulldozer approach comes off pretty thick.  There’s a few sexist jibes targeting the WNBA (plus a cruel dig directed at actress Bridget Moynahan) that makes one wonders why ESPN permitted such misogynistic putdowns to see print.   

As gifted as a writer Simmons knows he is, his no-holds-barred ranting is easier to digest in far smaller bites.  As seen in a collaborative format (i.e. 2018’s Basketball: A Love Story), where he is among countless other contributors, one can better appreciate Simmons’ sometimes golden insights, that is — when properly edited. The Book of Basketball is a great occasional resource, but the author’s grating super-fan ego over-indulges itself far, far too often.    

ADDITIONAL FEATURES:

Black-and-white trading card-style images of players decorate the start of each chapter. Beyond an obligatory table-of contents, there is the author’s introduction and a brief foreword from Malcolm Gladwell.  Simmons also includes acknowledgments, a bibliography, and a much-appreciated index.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 6 Stars

Categories
Basketball Books & Novels Sports (Books)

BASKETBALL: A LOVE STORY

Written by Jackie MacMullan; Rafe Bartholomew; & Dan Klores

SUMMARY:

Released in 2018 by Crown Archetype (an imprint of Crown Publishing Group), this 436-page hardcover compilation is a literary companion to the same-named ESPN documentary directed by co-author Dan Klores.  Compiled from the same 165 interviews from 2014-2017 with a cross-section of basketball luminaries (i.e. players, coaches, executives, owners, and reporters) used for the documentary, the diversified topics cover seventy years of the sport.  Presented as an informal oral history, as if it were a group discussion, the varying participants discuss:

Note: The italicized chapters indicate a short follow-up to the prior topic.

  • Glimpses from Magic Johnson; LeBron James; Kobe Bryant; Cheryl Miller; Bill Bradley; Moses Malone; and so many others on their childhood discovery of basketball;
  • The Celtics vs. The Lakers; 
  • Wilt Chamberlain’s legendary 100-point game; 
  • Chamberlain’s rivalry with Bill Russell;  
  • Basketball’s history with racial inequality; 
  • Oscar Robertson’s anti-trust lawsuit vs. the NBA;
  • The impact of Title IX and the growth of women’s basketball (including Becky Hammon’s rise as an NBA assistant coach);  
  • The legacy of the Immaculata women’s college team of the early 1970’s; 
  • The early impact of gambling, point shaving, and player blackballing on the sport; 
  • John Wooden’s legacy (including his enduring influence on his protégés) ; 
  • NCAA championship coaches reflect on winning the national title; 
  • Team USA’s Olympic history (1956-1972); 
  • More childhood memories from basketball legends; 
  • The ABA; 
  • Frank McGuire and Dean Smith’s development of the UNC men’s program; 
  • Mike Krzyzewski’s career, starting as a protégé of Bobby Knight; 
  • Larry Bird & Magic Johnson;
  • Bird’s memorable 1987 Eastern Conference Finals steal & the Detroit Pistons Reaching the NBA Finals;
  • Exemplified by the 1970’s New York Knicks, the city’s contributions to the sport; 
  • The rivalry between Pat Summitt and Geno Auriemma; 
  • Cheryl Miller
  • Basketball legends discuss their own hoops heroes during their youth; 
  • Input on Michael Jordan as the sport’s greatest-ever player; 
  • The 1992 Dream Team; 
  • The rise of the WNBA;
  • The impact of international players, including Hakeem Olajuwon, Tony Parker, & Dirk Nowitzki; 
  • The Lakers rivalry of Shaquille O’Neal & Kobe Bryant; 
  • The San Antonio Spurs’ team-oriented style;
  • The Current NBA, including LeBron James and the popularity of ‘Small Ball;’ and
  • The spiritual impact of basketball.

REVIEW:

This insightful anthology is the equivalent of multiple books compressed into one.  Predictably, there are sporadic dull stretches, as some chapters are more long-winded than necessary.  Still, the intimacy of Basketball: A Love Story allows readers to sit in on these thoughtful ‘group discussions.’  For instance, anecdotes re: the wild and fistfight-happy ABA era is an eye-opener, particularly as to how its anything-goes mystique would forever impact pro basketball.  The same applies to recollections of some ex-New York Knicks describing their hard-fought path to a pair of championships in between dominant title runs by the Celtics and Lakers.  

While the book’s primary focus is the pros, its various chapters pertaining to the college ranks and, particularly, the evolution of women’s basketball are also worth devouring.  A quote from Larry Bird summing up Mike Krzyzewski’s magnetic coaching ability alone: “(he) is believable,” is among the illuminating and candid assessments offered by these contributors.

For sports aficionados, this hardcover really is a gem.               

ADDITIONAL FEATURES:

Separated into two sets of eight, there are sixteen pages of black-and-white and color photos.  The co-authors provide an introductory note and acknowledgements.  Besides a table-of-contents, there is also a very helpful index. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 9 Stars

Categories
Agatha Christie-Related Digital Movies & TV International/Foreign-Language Films Movies & Television (Videos) Mystery & Suspense

AGATHA CHRISTIE’S TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1989)

SUMMARY:                   Running Time: 1 Hr., 38 Min.  

Filmed on location in South Africa, this 1989 Cannon Films remake is directed by Alan Birkinshaw.  Agatha Christie’s suspense thriller is now re-imagined taking place in a remote African safari during the mid-1930’s.  Like the original 1945 film adaptation and two subsequent remakes, some character details have been altered while loosely adapting Christie’s classic mystery. 

For instance, the novel’s self-righteous British spinster Emily Brent is now the fussy, middle-aged American actress, Marion Marshall. The names and nationalities of the general and the doctor have also been altered without actually changing their personalities. Hence, the characters from Christie’s novel/stage play are mostly intact, including their alleged crimes. One oddity, as a comparison to other versions, is that this group of ten now inexplicably consists of a composite of Americans, Central Europeans, and the British.

Soon isolated by a native tribe and with their radio disabled, the ten bewildered guests are trapped as human prey for their unseen host: U.N. Owen.  Owen’s predatory reliance on the “Ten Little Indians” nursery rhyme foretells their doom., with the lyrics being noticeably emphasized this time.  Not only is their camp surrounded by dangerous jungle wildlife (i.e. tigers and lions), these captives are subsequently executed one-by-one for ghastly crimes they are accused of committing.  Can anyone evade Owen’s bloodthirsty wrath?    

Judge Wargrave: Donald Pleasance

Marion Marshall: Brenda Vaccaro   

General Romensky: Herbert Lom

Vera Claythorne: Sarah Maur Thorp

Capt. Phillip Lombard / Jack Hutchinson: Frank Stallone

Blore: Warren Berlinger

Dr. Werner: Yehuda Efroni

Elmo Rodgers: Paul L. Smith

Mrs. Rodgers: Moira Lister

Anthony James Marston: Neil McCarthy

U.N. Owen’s Voice: Uncredited

Notes: Producer Harry Alan Towers actually filmed Ten Little Indians” three times: the other instances being 1965 and 1974.  Set in a wintry chalet in the Alps, his 1965 black-and-white “Ten Little Indians” stars Hugh O’Brian & Shirley Eaton.  Using “And Then There Were None” and, in some alternate versions, “Ten Little Indians,” as the title, his 1974 version is set at an abandoned hotel in the Iranian desert, where Herbert Lom portrays the doctor amongst an all-European cast. 

Of interest is how Towers’ increasingly muddled remakes mixes-and-matches with both Christie’s novel and her stage play, the semi-parody 1945 film, and inevitably his own 1965 film’s plot variations and name changes.     

REVIEW:

Any residual shock value dating back to 1945’s And Then There Were None has long since evaporated.  Filmed on the cheap, some authentic scenery delivers this 1989 clunker’s sole asset – a possible second is a ham-fisted effort trying to convey the bone-chilling horror of Christie’s novel (ironically, the film’s credits only reference her sanitized stage play). 

What’s devoid from this somewhat grisly potboiler is any semblance of deductive reasoning by the captives/suspects or even a believable descent into cold fear/paranoia amongst the dwindling survivors. For that matter, why exactly the killer chose these specific targets is ignored. Case in point: when this U.N. Owen’s captives all too thinly reveal their past sins, no one bothers to question their accounts – worse yet, Lombard’s backstory once again isn’t even provided.

Additional missteps in basic logic effectively sabotage this film (i.e. Why do the supposedly human-hungry lions and tigers briefly seen early in the film evidently vanish?  Given the limited technology of the 1930’s, how could this U.N. Owen have researched all these old crimes in different countries? Aside from Christie’s convenient ‘twists’ aiding the culprit, the film’s variations bungle them in such ways where it’s likely impossible to commit at least one of the murders.).  Such unforced gaffes subsequently ground Christie’s iconic whodunnit into pulpy cinematic sludge.   

As for the cast’s performances, it’s a mixed bag.  Hollywood veterans Pleasence, Berlinger, Lom, and, to a degree, the young Maur Thorp (resembling Elizabeth Perkins) are watchable – give them some credit for trying.  Of them, Lom reliably makes the most of his limited screen time while Pleasence knows how to play subtle creepiness. Of minimal help to them is George S. Clinton’s passable musical score that lends some sense of a period piece mystery the film sought to be.  

As for the other castmates: Stallone, Vaccaro, Efroni, Lister (eerily resembling Gilligan Island’s Mrs. Howell, no less), McCarthy, and Smith’s clichéd aura of menace all hover between underwhelming to eye-rolling, amateur hour-caliber performances.  Usually an extra in his older brother’s movies, Stallone is dubiously cast as a romantic stock hero in the mold of Allan Quatermain.  Yet, his bland macho presence still surpasses veteran character actress Vacarro, who disappoints in a paycheck-only effort.        

Watching this theatrical flop is really about the curiosity factor, if anything.  The question is: how much patience should Christie’s fans muster?  Enduring this dreck once is plenty, but its potential (i.e. the safari novelty) for a better film is sporadically visible.  Otherwise, this Ten Little Indians is convincing proof of Hollywood’s law of diminishing returns — too many remakes inevitably erode masterpieces into formulaic schlock. 

Note: For a suspenseful “Ten Little Indians”-type safari, try 1996’s “The Ghost and The Darkness,” starring Val Kilmer & Michael Douglas.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 2 Stars

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Categories
Agatha Christie-Related Digital Movies & TV Movies & Television (Videos) Mystery & Suspense

TEN LITTLE INDIANS (aka AGATHA CHRISTIE’S TEN LITTLE INDIANS) (1965)

SUMMARY:       Running Time: 1 Hr., 29 Min. (Black & White)

Directed by George Pollock, this retitled 1965 remake (of 1945’s And Then There Were None) shifts Agatha Christie’s secluded Indian Island to a wintry mountain chalet, presumably in the Austrian Alps.  As the prior film did, some character names, nationalities, and/or their crimes are altered in a loose adaptation of Agatha Christie’s stage play of her own classic novel. 

For instance, secretary Vera Claythorne is now ‘Ann Clyde,’ while condescending middle-aged British spinster Emily Brent is replaced by a glamorous German movie star.  Obnoxiously stupid British playboy Anthony Marston (in the 1945 film, he is a boozy, free-loading Russian expatriate) is now Fabian’s obnoxious American crooner ‘Mike Raven.’  Likewise, the names of the judge and the servant couple have been modified to better suit the actors.  

Transported by train, sleigh ride, and then gondola, eight strangers attend a weekend house party—isolating them at least fifteen miles from the nearest village.  Left to entertain themselves, the guests and the married servant couple are mortified by accusations of ghastly crimes from the ominously recorded voice of their absent host, ‘U.N. Owen.’ 

Adhering to revised lyrics of the “Ten Little Indians” nursery rhyme (a copy of which appears in each guest’s room), the ten captives are subsequently murdered, one by one.  Alliances will be made, but will anyone evade a predator’s vengeful wrath?    

Hugh Lombard: Hugh O’Brian

Ann Clyde: Shirley Eaton   

William Henry Blore: Stanley Holloway

Dr. Edward Armstrong: Dennis Price

Ilona Bergen: Daliah Lavi

Judge Arthur Cannon: Wilfrid Hyde-White

Herr Grohmann: Mario Adorf

General John Mandrake: Leo Genn

Frau Grohmann: Marianne Hoppe

Narrator: Bill Mitchell

U.N. Owen’s Voice: Christopher Lee (uncredited)

Note: One of the film’s producers, Harry Alan Towers, remade this same movie twice more — once in 1974 (reverting to the British title of “And Then Were There None”), with an ‘all-star’ European cast in an Iranian desert locale.  The last Towers remake is a cut-rate 1989 rehash set amidst a 1930’s South African safari.  The 1989 title is switched back to “Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.”  Of interest is how these increasingly muddled remakes insist on mixing-and-matching Christie’s source material, the 1945 film, and this 1965 film’s own plot variations and name changes.     

REVIEW:

Viewing this remake, either in comparison to its classy 1945 predecessor, or strictly on its own merits, the result is still the same.  Unlike And Then There Were None’s droll black comedy charm, 1965’s incarnation blandly rolls through its motions geared for a different generation that is more attuned to Sean Connery’s James Bond films. 

Replacing the original film’s witty banter, sensuality (i.e. implied sex) and gritty violence (i.e. a destroyed cable car; a lengthy fistfight) are weakly substituted in, if only for sensationalism’s sake.  Further, this cast’s wooden chemistry doesn’t help – for instance, Blore, the general, the judge, and the doctor blend far too much together as the older British guests.  As Dr. Armstrong, Dennis Price, in particular, is guilty of an apathetic, reading-off-the-script performance.  

Stanley Holloway and Wilfrid Hyde-White gradually assert themselves as Blore and the judge, as their work becomes the film’s best asset.  The same doesn’t apply to romantic co-leads Hugh O’Brian and Shirley Eaton.  While Goldfinger’s Eaton has a likable screen presence, her one-dimensional ‘Ann Clyde’ is merely a blonde damsel-in-distress.  O’Brian’s macho engineer shares hardly any resemblance with Christie’s scoundrel, Phillip Lombard, short of the same last name.  

Another stale re-imagining is Fabian’s mercifully brief role.  Overplaying the smug ‘Mike Raven,’ Fabian appears out of his acting league.  Case in point: he delivers one the most amateurish-looking death scenes in movie history.  Dalilah Lavi’s effort is marginally better, but her conceited ‘Ilona Bergen’ is an unnecessary (and far younger) substitute for the morally shrewish Emily Brent. 

As the ill-tempered servant couple, Marianne Hoppe and Mario Adorf are the most compelling, largely because they are the only ones conveying a believable sense of panic.  Portraying the volatile ‘Grohmann,’ Adorf at least brings a new variant to Christie’s storyline.  

Note: Curiously, despite playing the butler, Adorf resembles the novel’s physical description of Blore. Had Adorf switched roles with the affable Holloway (and instead making it a Lombard/Blore fistfight), that might have inspired a welcome boost to the script.      

The unremarkable changes re: the killer’s methods can be shrugged off … that is, with a notable exception.  One death pits the syringe-packing killer slowly closing in on another hapless victim – who doesn’t bother screaming or even make a token effort of resistance (supposedly, this wide-awake character is just too terrified).  No matter how the director rationalized it, this sequence is a ludicrous Hollywood ‘homicide.’  Another element that sabotages suspense is composer-conductor Malcolm Lockyer’s inability to shift his misguided jazzy score into something appropriately menacing.    

A final straw is the goofy ‘whodunnit?’ interactive time-out at the climax where an unseen narrator implores viewers to guess the culprit.  Let’s dismiss this ridiculous intrusion as a best-forgotten 1960’s Hollywood gimmick.  Despite its surplus of weaknesses, this take on Ten Little Indians still isn’t half-bad by comparison. 

Think of this way: between Towers’ three remakes (1965, 1974, and 1989), sliding into mediocrity becomes inevitable.  It’s really the fallacy of excessive recycling.  By that reckoning, 1965’s Ten Little Indians ranking second-best to the original film is a back-handed compliment.             

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 6 Stars

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Categories
Agatha Christie-Related Anthologies Books & Novels Mystery & Suspense

MALICE DOMESTIC 9

See Writing Credits Below 

SUMMARY:

Published by Avon Books, Inc. in 2000, this short story anthology’s 214-page ninth installment has a decidedly British flavor.  Consisting of fourteen original tales, the theme is either playing off an Agatha Christie title or offer her some form of homage.  Mystery author Joan Hess provides an introduction. 

Leading off with a classic Parker Pyne reprint, the mayhem is as follows:

  • “The Case of the Discontented Soldier,” by Agatha Christie (1932).  Upon hiring Parker Pyne, a retired soldier finds himself rescuing a damsel-in-distress from a nefarious criminal gang.
  • “Nothing to Lose,” by Robert Barnard.  A British retirement facility’s daily bliss is threatened by a self-righteous newcomer, who is accustomed to playing troublemaker to get her overbearing way.
  • “The Man in the Civil Suit,” by Jan Burke.  The demise of local eccentric Pythagoras Peabody and his fascination with the Museum of Natural History is recounted by his sister’s long-suffering suitor.
  • “The Murder at the Vicarage,” by Kate Charles.  Guilt-ridden by her own conflicted emotions, British cozy mystery author Margo St. James ponders the murder (many times over) of her rural village’s vicar.
  • “Peril at Melford House,” by Marjorie Eccles.  In 1948, at an English country home, an elderly heiress suffers a fatal household mishap.  Her college-age niece ponders if there is something more insidious to this tragedy.
  • “Drawing to a Close,” by Teri Holbrook.  In a rundown post-war London hotel, an introverted cartooning student suspects that she has inadvertently overheard a murder conspiracy.  Yet, she only has her imagination and a drawing pad to decipher what two supposed suspects even look like.    
  • “The Dark Tower,” by Gwen Moffat.  Along with amateur sleuth Miss Pink, a wealthy British mystery novelist’s assistant worries that someone in the household may soon incur a fatal ‘accident.’  
  • “Conventional Wisdom,” by Marcia Talley.  As guest presenters for San Diego’s MysteryCon, two of Tommy & Tuppence Beresford’s adult grandchildren: twins Stephen and Caroline Greene, witness a murder.  
  • “What Mr. MacGregor Saw,” by Dorothy Cannell.  A young British couple visits a hotel to confront a horrific childhood nightmare haunting the wife.       
  • “The Man Who Never Was,” by Charles Todd.  World War I battlefield investigator Ian Rutledge must unravel a dead soldier’s hidden true identity.
  • “Murder at Midday,” by Ann Granger.  A middle-aged British female artist probes the death of her village’s resident busybody.
  • “A Mishap at the Manor,” by Walter Satterthwait.  The literary worlds of Christie and Edgar Rice Burroughs wildly converge, as the British police contends with some unwanted amateur competition solving the homicide of publisher Lord Greystoke.
  • “Oh, To Be in England!by Carolyn Wheat.  A British tour bus conductor finds herself up against a serial killer preying upon her unruly passengers. 
  • “Oliphants Can Remember,” by Susan Moody.  After the suspicious death of a fellow hotel guest, British mystery novelist Antigone Oliphants does some sleuthing into the past of the scandal-plagued, high-profile victim.          

Note: All the original stories are copyrighted as of 2000.

REVIEW:

Virtually all of these tales merit multiple reads, if only to pick up scattered clues one didn’t spot before.  Hence, an unusual aspect of this compilation is not all the endings divulge a clear-cut culprit or resolve lingering plot holes.  Wisely selected as the opener, Christie’s underrated Parker Pyne appears in one of his best outings.  While there aren’t any surefire original gems, “Oh, To Be in England!,” “Peril at Melford House,” and “The Man Who Never Was,” merit consideration as this anthology’s best capers. 

Others, such as “Nothing to Lose,” “The Dark Tower,” “Conventional Wisdom,” “Murder at Midday,” and “Drawing to a Close,” won’t likely dazzle anyone, but they deliver some entertaining fare.  In terms of wacky comedy relief, “Mishap at the Manor” serves up this book’s most outrageous effort.

Hampered by far too many deliberate Christie references, “Oliphants Can Remember” is still a decent mystery meant to be reminiscent of Christie’s Ariadne Oliver and Murder, She Wrote’s Jessica Fletcher.  It’s not likely a coincidence that three of this compilation’s stories feature cozy mystery novelists as sleuths.  To each author’s credit, all three tales are sufficiently well-played. 

The same applies to Marcia Talley conjuring up a likable MysteryCon whodunnit hosting two of Tommy & Tuppence Beresford’s grown grandchildren.  Yet, Walter Satterthwait’s wacky send-up of the mystery publishing industry leaves an undeniable impression just for its audacity.

Frankly, that’s where two vastly different tales offer extremes within Malice Domestic 9.  The morose “What Mr. MacGregor Saw” explores a domestic violence-related plot that is tough to plow through.  If any of this book’s tales isn’t worth revisiting, make it this one.  In contrast, “A Mishap at the Manor” darkly skewers some of detective fiction’s best-known sleuths, and, for good measure, Burroughs’ Tarzan.  Imagining Satterthwait’s macabre parody along the lines of Neil Simon’s Murder By Death film would be its best comparison.  

Unlike some hit-or-miss volumes in this series, the contents of Malice Domestic 9 is consistently on its game.  As all but one of its fifteen stories is average or better, this collection makes an ideal fireplace-style read.  By creatively updating some of Christie’s concepts, Malice Domestic 9 impressively invites casual fans.  Most significantly, this anthology is an ideal sampling of some of the mystery genre’s better talents. 

ADDITIONAL FEATURES:

After the table of contents, the insipid foreword entitled “The Four H’s: Hearth, Health, Home, and Homicide” is written by Joan Hess.  Concocted as a mock e-mail exchange with a buffoonish fan, her intro, unfortunately, proves a waste of time.  Each tale offers a mini-bio introducing its author.    

BRIAN’S ODD-MOON RATING: 8 Stars