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THE PERFECT STORM (2000)

SUMMARY:           RUNNING TIME: 2 Hrs., 10 Min.

Released by Warner Bros. in 2000, director Wolfgang Petersen’s film adapts Sebastian Junger’s same-named 1997 novel.  Both Junger’s ‘creative non-fiction’ novel and its cinematic version, to varying degrees, present speculative accounts as to the disappearance of the Andrea Gail, a Massachusetts swordfishing boat, in late October 1991, amidst Hurricane Grace.  

In October 1991, Bob Brown’s (Ironside) rival fishing boats, Hannah Boden and Andrea Gail, return from their long-line swordfish expeditions to port at Gloucester, Massachusetts, at the close of the season.  While Boden’s captain, Linda Greenlaw (Mastrantonio), suffers a crew fatality, Brown is still pleased with her ship’s impressive haul.  Brown, however, chastises the Gail’s captain, Billy Tyne (Clooney), for his own insufficient catch, accusing an indignant Tyne of losing his once-reliable touch.  Tyne’s weary crew (Wahlberg; Reilly, Payne; & Hawkes), meanwhile, reunite with their loved ones for the next few days.  

Motivated to prove himself, Tyne risks a year-end expedition for a likely lucrative haul without intrusive competition.  Recruiting moody “Sully” Sullivan (Fichtner) as a crew replacement, Tyne convinces the other four mates to rejoin him – as they all are seeking an improved payday.  Bobby’s (Wahlberg) girlfriend, Chris Cotter (Lane), implores him not to go, given her bad omen about this last-minute change of plans.  Bobby, nonetheless, volunteers thinking the potential catch will allow them a sufficient financial cushion together.  Similarly, a divorced and lonely Murph (Reilly) seeks distraction upon recognizing his adoring young son (Tank) will likely have a stepfather sooner than later.        

Apart from Murph and Sully’s ongoing friction, the Gail’s usual voyage to the Grand Banks of Newfoundland proves uneventful, especially with a disappointingly scarce catch.  Opting to push further along the Gulf Stream to The Flemish Cap, Tyne is initially unaware that two storm fronts have converged with the subtropical Category 2 Hurricane Grace rapidly moving up the U.S. Eastern Seaboard.  A Massachusetts TV meteorologist (McDonald) realizes in horror what catastrophic weather conditions will imminently commence between Canada and New England.  

Finding a treasure trove of swordfish (and one shark attack), the Gail crew’s joy ends with a malfunctioning ice system.  Risking a hasty dash back towards Gloucester’s port to save their catch for market sales, the Gail is caught up in the storm.  Greenlaw desperately tries warning a distracted Tyne of his vessel’s predicament. The Gail soon loses its radio antenna – and with it, all communications.  Ongoing damage to the ship leaves a constantly drenched Tyne and Bobby trying to keep the overwhelmed Gail from capsizing.   

Elsewhere, an isolated three-person crew (Gunton; Allen; & Jones) aboard a sailboat bound for Bermuda are among the storm’s prisoners necessitating rescue.  Upon saving the sailboat’s crew, an Air National Guard helicopter is subsequently lost at sea next searching for the Gail.  A U.S. Coast Guard rescue vessel is the surviving flight crew’s sole hope to escape the raging Atlantic Ocean.  At Gloucester, the Gail’s family members anxiously await news at a dockside pub, as the ship’s location is now unknown.      

Tyne’s heroic steering buys his crew further time.  Yet, the oceanic onslaught shifts in the same direction as their improvised retreat.  SPOILER ALERT: As the ship floods, the Gail’s crewmembers ominously sense there is no further chance for escape. The poignant epilogue includes Greenlaw offering solemnly heartfelt words at the crew’s joint memorial service.  Greenlaw later contemplates friendly rival Tyne’s insights from an earlier scene, as she departs on her next expedition.

                                      Primary Cast:

Capt. Frank William “Billy” Tyne, Jr.: George Clooney

Robert “Bobby” Shatford: Mark Wahlberg

Christina “Chris” Cotter: Diane Lane

Dale “Murphy” Murphy: John C. Reilly

David “Sully” Sullivan: William Fichtner

Capt. Linda Greenlaw: Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio

Michael “Bugsy” Moran: John Hawkes

Alfred Pierre: Allen Payne

Bob Brown: Michael Ironside

Ethel Shadford: Janet Wright

Quentin: Sandy Ward

Melissa Brown: Karen Allen

Edie Bailey: Cherry Jones

Alexander McAlly II: Bob Gunton

Todd Gross: Christopher McDonald

Douglas “Dougie” Kosco: Joseph D. Reitman

Air National Guard flight crew: Todd Kimsey; Josh Hopkins; Dash Mihok; Chris Palermo; & Wiley M. Pickett

Irene: Rusty Schwimmer

Irene’s children: Katelyn C. Brown & Miles Schneider

Debra – Murph’s ex-wife: Merle Kennedy

Dale Murphy, Jr.: Hayden Tank

Alfred’s girlfriend: Jennifer Sommerfeld

U.S. Coast Guard Commander Brudnicki: Steve Barr.

REVIEW:

Without reading other reviews, I expected The Perfect Storm to be a relatively high-caliber effort – given this particular cast and Wolfgang Petersen’s directorial reputation.  Unfortunately, as others soon discovered upon the film’s initial release, its ‘based on a true story’ plot pushed disappointing and predictable superficiality from the get-go. 

Too little too late in the gripping Titanic-like climax/epilogue can’t overcome Petersen’s excessive cliché-fest, i.e. a maudlin first twenty-plus minutes depicted on shore.  Knowing full well Petersen wasn’t making a documentary, his ensemble cast still delivers solid performances recreating a real-life tragedy. The underlying problem with Perfect Storm’s highly speculative nature is twofold. 

First, by fictionalizing actual participants in this grim tragedy, viewers witness mostly Hollywood-ized caricatures all too formulaic for the big-budget disaster film genre. Among such dubious character traits is glorifying foolhardiness by George Clooney’s Tyne and his crew for not retreating early on – despite still having time to do so.  From a hit filmmaker’s perspective, having Tyne’s vessel fatally sunk in mere seconds or a few minutes (no matter how logical it sounds) obviously isn’t good business.  Such gritty realism would expedite this movie’s running time far too much, let alone diminish its need for fictional plot twists. 

Of the few details known before the Andrea Gail’s dire fate, depicting Tyne and his crew as being desperately impetuous for money and professional glory isn’t necessarily in the best taste.  It implies that the Andrea Gail’s crew had unwittingly engineered their own demise by daring a monstrous hurricane with little more than mortal bravado.  Petersen, at least, compensates with Clooney’s well-played last moment, along with those of the ship’s crew.  A glaring exception, however, is the implied death scene for Mark Wahlberg’s Bobby – it comes off too preposterously theatrical for its own good.         

Secondly, it’s hard not to spot the practical realities of how The Perfect Storm was safely filmed.  Clooney, Wahlberg, John C. Riley, and others were clearly working inside an enormous water tank later adding lots and lots of CGI ocean water.  Apart from gushing water cannons blasting Clooney and Wahlberg during innumerable close-ups, Petersen’s cast, otherwise, can hide such phoniness only so much maintaining their dramatic composure. 

By no means is the unconvincing Perfect Storm a blot on any cast member’s resumé, given the script they had.  The blemish belongs instead to an uninspired Petersen. His take on a real-life at-sea disaster had the opportunity to surpass James Cameron’s eye-rolling Titanic, as far as supplying genuine character depth – not to mention, awestruck horror from the audience.

Though restraining from Cameron’s awful romantic dialogue, Perfect Storm doesn’t consistently muster the modesty it needs to be taken seriously. Case in point: try comparing Clooney and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio’s thoughtfully poignant scene vs. the unnecessary shark attack action-shlock seen later on. Big budget thrills via the fake shark, not to mention the dark monstrous waves in the climax, becomes too much of a distracting eyesore for viewers.

Note: Coincidence or not, late composer James Horner supplied the instrumental scores for both Titanic and The Perfect Storm.

Hence, the relatable blue-collar overtones of Petersen’s storyline become lost within too much Hollywood melodrama and CGI for the sake of popcorn. Falling short of its cinematic potential, The Perfect Storm should have remained a creative, if not exploitative, nonfiction novel.         

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                5½ Stars

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JOHN CARPENTER’S THE THING (1982)

SUMMARY:             RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr., 49 Min.

Released by Universal Studios for the 1982 summer season, John Carpenter directed the film off Bill Lancaster’s script.  The original source material is John W. Campbell’s 1938 novella, “Who Goes There?,” from which Lancaster’s storyline updated certain plot elements. The project was filmed on refrigerated sets in Los Angeles, along with location shooting in both Alaska and Canada. 

Set in the winter of 1981-1982, the twelve-man team at a remote U.S. research base in Antarctica witness a Norwegian helicopter’s sniper (Franco) bizarrely targeting a sole wolf-dog.  An explosive accident and miscommunication subsequently result in the deaths of the sniper and his pilot. 

While the wolf-dog (Jed) is allowed sanctuary inside their base, the team’s physician (Dysart) and its hard-bitten helicopter pilot, MacReady (Russell), depart for answers at the Norwegian camp approximately an hour away.  Probing the decimated Norwegian base’s ruins, the duo finds grisly evidence later identified via autopsy as a scorched half-human/half-alien hybrid.

The base’s biologist, Blair (Brimley), theorizes that the Norwegians stumbled upon an alien shapeshifting lifeform capable of assimilating and then impersonating its prey.  Realizing that the hostile alien may have now infiltrated their own base, the dozen men desperately seek to contain the lethal threat. 

After studying videotape footage that the ill-fated Norwegians left behind, MacReady and biologist Norris (Hallahan) go out to confirm the existence of a frozen archaeological site.   Norris calculates the spacecraft uncovered there dates back at least 100,000 years ago.  More so, its parasitic inhabitant evidently thawed out from hibernation and destroyed the Norwegian base.

MacReady and his colleagues must resist panicking in facing the chameleon-like monster they are up against.  Recognizing that any of them has been or will be compromised, the team resorts to involuntary blood draws (proving who’s still human) and often flamethrowers to stay alive.   Accelerated by sub-freezing temperatures, a lack of sleep, and deliberate sabotage of any means of escape, paranoid madness descends upon the base.  An exhausted, half-frozen MacReady (having taken command) insists on destroying the monster – in spite of a deadly collapse in trust among his colleagues. 

With faint hopes of rescue likely months away, the team’s dwindling survivors ominously agree upon a common goal.  The monster’s own escape must be thwarted – no matter the cost.        

Cast:

R.J. MacReady (helicopter pilot): Kurt Russell

Dr. Blair (senior biologist): A. Wilford Brimley

Dr. Norris (biologist): Charles Hallahan

Childs (chief mechanic): Keith David

Nauls (base cook): T.K. Carter

Dr. Copper (physician): Richard Dysart

Windows (radio operator): Thomas G. Waites

Clark (dog team handler): Richard Masur

Garry (base commander): Donald Moffat

Fuchs (biologist): Joel Pulis

Bennings (meteorologist): Peter Maloney

Palmer (mechanic): David Clennon

Infected Malamute/Dog (interior scenes): Jed

Norwegian Sniper: Larry Franco (uncredited)

Computer Voice: Adrienne Barbeau (uncredited)

Norwegian: Norbert Weisser (uncredited)

Norwegian (video footage): John Carpenter (uncredited)

Other Norwegians (video footage): Uncredited Extras

Pilots: William Zeman & Nate Irwin.

Notes: 1. The same-named 2011 prequel explores the events involving the ill-fated Norwegian team leading up to the 1982 film’s opening dog hunting sequence.  2. The film’s 1951 cinematic predecessor, The Thing from Another World, relies upon the same Campbell source material, but Carpenter’s version more closely homages the original story.  3. After his 1938 novella, Campbell also evidently penned an obscure expanded (novel-length) version retitled Frozen Hell.      

REVIEW:

One might presume that ultra-gory special effects (courtesy of Rob Bottin’s top-caliber team) is The Thing’s most significant element.  That’s only partially accurate. 

As icky and even at times as cheesy Bottin’s effects are, the tense blood draw sequence is just as, if not more so, wince-inducing.  Along with Ennio Morricone’s eerie score (note: it echoes Carpenter’s 1981 Escape from New York), the film’s practical special effects still hold up.  Even a few obvious matte paintings used as Antarctic backdrops are masterfully designed.  Hence, credit is long overdue to Carpenter’s production team – keeping in mind what their $15 million dollar budget could/couldn’t afford at the time.  Viewers, in that regard, get an excellent monster flick that doesn’t rely on blue-screen phoniness to work its magic.   

Apart from its special effects, like 1979’s original Alien film, The Thing devises a reliable sci-fi/horror-meets-And Then There None whodunnit formula.  Think about it – as of 1982, this intriguing sub-genre, in a modern context, consisted of only these two films.  That is – before the Alien and Predator franchises began over-exploiting the concept for the next forty-plus years.  Still, Carpenter’s nuanced ensemble delivers far more character depth than one would expect – unlike derivative blockbusters merely recycling the same premise ad nauseum with different casts.

Before proceeding further, it isn’t a fair assessment without pointing out some dumb plot contrivances.  Case in point: the Antarctic ‘science team’ woefully disregards sanitary precautions: 1. They don’t wear masks (rubber gloves are seen once, maybe twice), especially when exposed to potentially noxious fumes (i.e. the autopsies; the Norwegian base).  2. No one expresses concern about quarantining the fugitive wolf-dog, let alone ever self-quarantining themselves – aside from Brimley’s Blair later in the film. 

Aside from ignoring basic scientific caution, the biggest eye-roller is a partially built, homemade spacecraft – which should be left as the less said the better.  Still, some freaky shlock horror imagery is supposed to be exactly that.  One wonders if the makers of the subsequent Re-Animator franchise were inspired by Bottin’s grotesque genius.  

As much heavy lifting as the macabre special effects must do, Russell and his castmates absolutely carry their share of the necessary workload.  A youthful Russell leads veteran character actors (i.e. Donald Moffat, Richard Masur, Wilford Brimley, and Ricard Dysart – all in top form) and newer faces (i.e. Keith David, T.K. Carter, and David Clennon) in an everyman’s game of frostbitten claustrophobia shifting to catastrophic paranoia.  Carpenter’s ingenious scene fadeouts ensure that enigmatic plot twists are teased without spoiling the grim suspense of what’s still to come.  Accordingly, the twelve distrustful characters, especially Russell’s MacReady, convey varying realistic shades of humanity in the face of imminent doom.    

John Carpenter’s The Thing is by no means flawless (on its own merits or even as a remake).  It is, however, definitely worthy of re-discovery.  This movie, suffice to say, outclasses the vast majority of competition in its genre.      

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                                8 Stars

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STAR TREK: 765874 UNIFICATION (2024)

SUMMARY:                   RUNNING TIME: Approx. 7:48 Min.

Produced by Otoy in conjunction with The Roddenberry Archive, this 4K 2024 short film includes William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy’s widow, Susan Bay Nimoy, as two of its executive producers.  Paramount and Skywalker Sound are among the project’s additional collaborators.    

From Jules Urbach’s virtually dialogue-free story, Carlos Baena directed this film.  Star Trek composer Michael Giacchino supplies a poignant, piano-driven musical score.  Though much of the film is produced through CGI and on sets, some location shooting occurred in San Marino, California.    

As noted in other sources, Shatner’s ‘Captain/Admiral Kirk’ (though CGI and body double Sam Witmer) appears in three familiar incarnations: his Original Series form, the motion picture era (circa Star Trek II), and primarily his Star Trek: Generations look.  Working from Nimoy’s CGI likeness (reminiscent of his elderly appearance in the Kelvin Timeline Trek films), Lawrence Selleck appears as Spock’s body double. 

Other cast members include Robin Curtis reprising her ‘Saavik’ from Star Treks III-IV, and briefly Gary Lockwood (remarkably, without a body double), in his sole reprisal of ‘Gary Mitchell,’ from Star Trek’s second TV pilot, “Where No Man Has Gone Before.” 

Nods/footage consist of: Trek’s first TV pilot (“The Cage”), Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Picard, and the Kelvin Timeline Trek films.  Otoy’s three previous Trek short films, including 2023’s 7658754: Regeneration (which depicts Spock on Veridan III son after Star Trek: Generations), are hinted. 

SPOILER ALERT: The film begins with a single written line recalling Kirk’s insightful advice to Lt. Saavik about peceiving the pendulum between life and death early on in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.  Otoy’s 765874 Regeneration had previously revealed that Spock had claimed the late Captain Kirk’s Starfleet badge from his mountaintop gravesite on Veridan III.  Next, seen exploring a lush garden-like park, Kirk is now without his badge, but otherwise still resembles his look from Star Trek: Generations.  At the park fountain, he quietly encounters a large yet mysterious contingent of observers.

Among them is an now-elderly former protégé, with whom Kirk exchanges grateful glances in this reunion.  She, in turn, introduces her late middle-aged adult son – to Kirk’s amazement.  Approaching an alien ‘gatekeeper’ of sorts, Kirk is evidently given a token.  It transports him into a shadowy mirror-like realm, which reflects Kirk’s past as a starship captain and then a Starfleet admiral.  His earlier counterparts vanish once the present-day Kirk emerges.  Reattaching his badge (the token), Kirk again shifts to another reality. 

The film’s sole dialogue replays Kirk’s wistful thoughts contemplating the Genesis Planet from Star Trek II.  Awaiting Kirk (having entered the Kelvin Timeline’s alternate reality) is a private suite on New Vulcan, where, in his final moments, is his dying best friend.  Spiritual unification across space and time has occurred, as two Starfleet legends witness a final sunrise together.  In essence, the film becomes both an epilogue to 1994’s Star Trek: Generations and a prologue for 2016’s Star Trek: Beyond.      

                                             Cast:

Captain James. T. Kirk: William Shatner & Sam Witmer (Shatner’s body double)

Spock: Leonard Nimoy & Lawrence Selleck (Nimoy’s body double)

Saavik: Robin Curtis

Yor: Gordon Tarpley

Sorak: Mark Chinnery

Gary Mitchell: Gary Lockwood

Yeoman J.M. Colt: Mahé Thaissa (body double for Star Trek: The Cage’s late actress Laurel Goodwin)

Crusher: John Daltorio

Observers By The Fountain: Credited Extras

Stand-Ins: See Film Credits 

Note:  With its credits included, the film’s running time is actually 10:44.  This short film serves as a 30th Anniversary tribute to Star Trek Generations.  For others, it further offers a 40th Anniversary homage of Star Trek III: The Search For Spock. 

REVIEW:

Though thirty years late, William Shatner’s ‘Captain Kirk’ finally gets a death scene worthy of the pop culture icon.  The same applies to Leonard Nimoy’s ‘Spock’ almost a decade after the actor’s passing.  For that matter, giving Robin Curtis’ underrated ‘Saavik’ a welcome though long-belated thank-you for her own Trek contributions makes good sense.  The fact that her scene at last acknowledges Saavik as Spock’s romantic soulmate does wonders for the character.     

Displaying Star Trek’s thoughtful afterlife, 765874: Unification is a cinematic gem in just under eight minutes.  As a heartfelt tribute to the nearly 60-year legacy Captain Kirk and Spock share, such silent storytelling is undeniably brilliant.  Despite some noticeable limitations of CGI in recreating Shatner’s Kirk (as he appeared thirty years ago), this film’s production values are still top-caliber. 

Casual viewers, however, should be forewarned: the blink-and-you’ll-see-miss-it glimpses of so many franchise incarnations, including Star Trek: Discovery’s Yor or Yeoman J.M. Colt from Captain Pike’s era, may seem bewildering.  While Yor’s inclusion (assuming one researches it), as does as a near-omnipotent Gary Mitchell, visually make sense, so many other quick cuts (i.e. even a glimpse of Star Trek: Picard’s Daystrom Station where Kirk’s remains are evidently now in storage) aren’t necessarily pertinent teases. 

Still, this story’s ethereal substance is obvious to grasp; and, frankly, that’s what matters most.  As a classy mini-reunion depicting the original Kirk and Spock a final time (given their previous appearance together was 1991’s Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country), 765874 Unification makes a welcome gift for any Trekker.     

BONUS FEATURES:

The film includes a dedication to Leonard Nimoy. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:              9 Stars

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MAGNUM P.I. {Original Series}: LEST WE FORGET (Season 1: Episode 10)

SUMMARY:              APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 47:00 Min.

First aired on CBS-TV on February 2, 1981, Lawrence Doheny directed this mid-season episode off co-series creator/producer Donald P. Bellisario’s script. 

With an U.S. Supreme Court nomination at stake, Judge Robert Caine (José Ferrer) discreetly hires Magnum (Selleck) to help resolve a past Hawaiian love affair dating back forty years.  Baited by a congratulatory telegram he has recently received; Caine comes back to Honolulu seeking answers.      

Specifically, Caine intends to find the local prostitute (Anne Lockhart) he had briefly married under his real name (Miguel Ferrer).  He confides to Magnum that he hasn’t seen his then-wife since just a few hours prior to the attack on Pearl Harbor.  Given a single day to find the enigmatic ‘Diane Westmore,’ Magnum’s sleuthing indicates some close to Diane (June Lockhart) are evasively holding tight to sordid old secrets. 

Seeking to deter Magnum, one reckless assailant even resorts to drive-by gunplay.  Magnum ponders exactly what other details is his pensive client hiding from him.  With Caine subsequently pressured by an extortionist, Magnum has to work fast to save a possibly still-timeless romance. 

A desperate Higgins (Hillerman), meanwhile, ingratiates himself to Magnum, as he needs a substitute bridge partner on short notice.  Given how even Higgins’ ‘lads,’ Zeus & Apollo (Brutus & Dominique), are on their absolutely best behavior, Magnum warily commits.

                Cast:

Thomas Magnum: Tom Selleck

Jonathan Quayle Higgins: John Hillerman

Theodore “T.C.” Calvin: Roger E. Mosley

Orville “Rick” Wright: Larry Manetti

Judge Robert “Bobby” Caine (present-day): José Ferrer

U.S. Navy Ensign Robert “Bobby” Wickes/Caine (1941 flashbacks): Miguel Ferrer

Mrs. Diane Westmore Pauley (present-day): June Lockhart

Diane Westmore (1941 flashbacks): Anne Lockhart

Kiki: Elizabeth Lindsey

Tickler: Scatman Crothers

Mueller (Mrs. Pauley’s chauffeur): David Palmer

Sculley: Larry Shriver

Maku: Merlin “Sonny” Ching

Jessie (1941 flashback): Patricia Herman

Jessie’s Knife-Wielding Thug (1941 flashback): Uncredited

Moki: Remi Abellira

Moana (Diane’s maid): Judith Sykes

Zeus & Apollo (Higgins’ Doberman Pinschers): Brutus & Dominique

Club Hostess: Reri Tava Jobe

King Kamehameha Club Patrons (present-day): Uncredited.

Hotel Patrons (present-day): Uncredited.

Wiki Wiki Club Patrons (1941 flashback): Uncredited.

Mrs. Blackmore: Uncredited

Military Police: Uncredited

Honolulu Cops: Uncredited

U.S. Serviceman (1941 flashback?): Grady Bumpus.

Notes: 1. The episode cleverly casts José Ferrer’s son, Miguel Ferrer, and June Lockhart’s daughter, Anne Lockhart, to play their characters’ younger selves in the flashback sequences.  2. This episode predates Mike Post & Pete Carpenter’s iconic Magnum, P.I. TV theme.  Instead, “Lest We Forget” was among the several early episodes utilizing Ian Fairbairn-Smith’s jazzy first-season generic instrumental as the show’s opening theme.  One also gets an alternate version of the opening credits sequence that would be used for seven subsequent seasons.       

REVIEW:

Donald P. Bellisario imbues his script with measures of poignancy, humor, and depth as possibly overcompensation for its few action scenes.  The end result frankly resembles a cliché festival taken from a go-to playbook for melodramatic plot twists.  Still, the overt romanticism motivating “Lest We Forget” makes this episode very watchable. 

Overcoming an excessively contrived script, the appealing cast ensures that viewers get a classy Magnum, P.I. caper from its early days.               

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                     6 Stars

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FATHER BROWN (1974): THE SECRET GARDEN (Season 1: Episode 13)

SUMMARY:                                 RUNNING TIME: 51:00 Min.

First airing on England’s ITV on December 19, 1974, “The Secret Garden” is the final episode of this first (and single-season) Father Brown TV series.  Faithfully adapting G.K. Chesterton’s same-named 1910 short story, Peter Jeffries directed this episode off Hugh Leonard’s screenplay.

In 1920’s Paris, wealthy French police chief Aristide Valentin (Mayne) voices his desire to seek humane commutation for a death row inmate he previously sent to prison.  Despite Valentin’s considerable political clout, he believes that making an in-person plea is his last opportunity before the condemned’s execution that same night.     

Meanwhile, at Valentin’s posh fortress-like estate, his dinner party guests await him.  Among the guests are: married British aristocrats – the elderly Galloways (Luckham & Benham); their socialite daughter Margaret (Waugh); her soldier ex-fiancé, O’Brien (Dance); an amiable physician (Davies); American millionaire philanthropist Julius K. Brayne (Dyneley); and Brayne’s friendly associate, Father Brown (More). 

Father Brown openly ponders Valentin’s stringent security measures necessitating the front door as his manor home’s sole entrance – not to mention, a spiked high wall surrounding the estate’s backyard perimeter.  Brown is told in reply that Valentin routinely receives death threats. 

Subsequent after-dinner conversation includes the topic of capital punishment.  O’Brien then departs for the garden to tempt Margaret into resuming their former romance, much to her father’s boozing disgust.  An eccentric Brayne also leaves the room.  He is last seen toying with Valentin’s mounted sword collection in the hallway.

Wishing to thwart O’Brien, an inebriated Lord Galloway stumbles upon a grisly discovery in the darkened garden: specifically, a well-dressed mystery corpse missing its severed head.  With the head grimly located, the murder weapon is subsequently established as O’Brien’s missing Foreign Legion saber.  Valentin calmly seeks to shield his guests from his own police force’s imminent scrutiny.  Still, suspicion soon pivots towards another guest besides O’Brien. 

The priest’s sleuthing suggests, however, that all may not be what it seems.  For instance, how could the unknown intruder/victim have circumvented various defenses and infiltrated the estate?  By the next day, this macabre enigma worsens once a second decapitated head is discovered.  Father Brown realizes it’s up to him to thwart a culprit’s potentially perfect crime. 

                    Cast:

Father Brown: Kenneth More

Commandant Neil O’Brien: Charles Dance

Aristide Valentin: Ferdy Mayne

Lord and Lady Galloway: Cyril Luckham & Joan Benham

Lady Margaret Graham: Eileen Waugh

Julius K. Brayne: Peter Dyneley

Dr. Bernard Simon: Rowland Davies

Duchess of Mont St. Michel: Rosemarie Dunham

Ivan (servant): Athol Coats

Beaumont: Stefan Gryff

Unnamed Servant: Hugh Cecil. 

Notes: 1. As forewarning, though not exceedingly graphic, there are three or four close-up glimpses of ‘severed heads.’ 

2. Valentin’s literary counterpart appeared in the first Father Brown story, 1910’s “The Blue Cross” (aka “Valentin Follows A Curious Trail”).  Valentin was that mystery’s featured player rather than Brown.  Hence, “The Secret Garden” makes for an intriguing sequel. 

3. In terms of possible coincidence: reminiscent of “The Blue Cross,” Agatha Christie’s 1930 Murder at The Vicarage features St. Mary Mead’s vicar, Reverend Len Clement, over Ms. Jane Marple in her whodunnit debut.   

REVIEW:

Filmed on videotape, it’s readily obvious “The Secret Garden” relies upon well-dressed sets vs. any sense that the cast is actually inside a castle-like manor home.  Aside from this minor quibble, it’s an old-school Father Brown whodunnit well-played for its source material. 

For fans of G.K. Chesterton’s Father Brown, seeing “The Secret Garden” faithfully visualized makes for solid viewing – no matter its logical contrivances.  Kenneth More’s Father Brown, in that regard, effectively spells out what some viewers likely will have already deduced.      

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:         7 Stars

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THE HARDY BOYS (1995): JAZZMAN (Season 1: Episode 2)

SUMMARY:                APPROX.  RUNNING TIME: 22:00 Min.

First airing on September 30, 1995, this episode of the Canadian syndicated TV series was directed by Jon Cassar off Dave Cole’s script. 

At a downtown church, journalist Frank (Gray) and computer ace Joe (Popowich) Hardy serve as the best man and wedding photographer for their friend: Tommy (Small), a local news vendor.  Yet, Tommy inexplicably no-shows the wedding and has seemingly dropped from sight. 

The Hardys promise his worried fiancée, Anita (Clarke), that they will find Tommy.  Following clues from Tommy’s newsstand, Frank & Joe’s investigation uncovers his long-suppressed former life as a jazz musician.  More so, after serving decades in prison, an elderly mobster (Tager) is now shadowing the Hardys.  He, too, wants to find Tommy, as they evidently have a personal old score to settle.     

                 Cast:

Frank Hardy: Colin K. Gray

Joe Hardy: Paul Popowich

Anita: Norma Clarke

Tommy (Carter): Ron Small

Jimmy: Aron Tager

Jordan: Karen LeBlanc

Pawnbroker: Ellen-Ray Hennessy

Bartender: Robbie Rox

Wedding Guests: Uncredited

Priest: Uncredited

Nightclub Patrons: Uncredited

Pedestrians: Uncredited

Flashbacks: Uncredited.

Notes: There are sporadic hints that the series was filmed in Canada (i.e. a close-up of a license plate).  Reminiscent of their 1970’s incarnations, the show was produced in tandem with a Nancy Drew TV series – likewise, it wasn’t long for this world.  Both single-season series only ran for thirteen episodes and were effectively canceled the same night: December 16, 1995. 

REVIEW:

Despite its limitations, this obviously low-budget episode makes for some passable viewing.  While competently directed, the episode’s flimsy plot is something of a letdown for stars Colin K. Gray and Paul Popowich.  They simply don’t get much of a mystery conveying that they are ‘The Hardy Boys,’ as opposed to some unremarkable, twenty-something amateur detective duo.  Among this cast, only guest star Karen LeBlanc makes a vivid impression in her minimal screen time.

Still, “Jazzman” delivers a watchable, all-ages caper to sample this mid-90’s revival of The Hardy Boys.     

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        4 Stars

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NANCY DREW (1995): THE DEATH AND LIFE OF BILLY FERAL (Season 1: Episode 7)

SUMMARY:             APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 22:00 Min.

First airing on September 30, 1995, Bruce McDonald directed this episode of the Canadian syndicated TV series off series story editor Laura Phillips’ original script. 

In this incarnation of Nancy Drew, Nancy and her two friends: Bess and George live downtown in a large city at the supposedly haunted Callisto Hotel.  This episode doesn’t specify the girls’ careers or if they’re still college students – all one gets is that George is evidently an amateur filmmaker.     

Five years have lapsed since rock star Billy Feral’s (Bissonette) enigmatic demise.  A pilgrimage by Feral’s mourning fans descends upon The Callisto Hotel on the  anniversary of his death.  Per George’s (Tanner) video footage for a Feral documentary she is filming, Nancy Drew (Ryan) views suspicious visual evidence that Feral’s ghost is haunting The Callisto’s fan memorial.  More so, Nancy and her friends find that others residing at The Callisto are keeping secrets about the musician’s tragic life.

               Cast:

Nancy Drew: Tracy Ryan

George Fayne: Joy Tanner

Bess Marvin: Jhene Erwin

Billy Feral: Joel Bissonette

Amina: Kyrin Hall

Simon: Uncredited.

Pete: Matthew Smith

Seymour: Conrad Bergschneider

Clerk: Eric Kimmel

Video Store Customers: Uncredited

Other Callisto Residents: Uncredited

Feral’s Fans: Uncredited.

Notes: There are sporadic hints that the series was filmed in Canada.  Reminiscent of their 1970’s incarnations, this series was produced in conjunction with a Hardy Boys TV series – as it, too, wasn’t long for this world.  Both single-season series only ran for thirteen episodes and were effectively canceled the same night: December 16, 1995. 

REVIEW:

To its modest credit, this episode sports an okay series lead in Tracy Ryan (frankly, co-star Joy Tanner might have made better casting) and a potentially intriguing premise.  At only twenty-two minutes, the plot’s rudimentary execution, however, is really more akin to what one might expect from The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo.  One could also imagine that the script somewhat echoes elements of Eddie and The Cruisers.      

Considering this Nancy Drew’s obvious budget limitations, “The Death and Life of Billy Feral” doesn’t strive for more than it can achieve.  At most, it’s an easily forgettable ghost story tease meant for an all-ages audience.  For undemanding viewers, this contrived episode is worth catching once – if at all.       

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                      3½ Stars

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MATLOCK {Original Series}: THE BLACKMAILER (Season 4: Episode 23)

SUMMARY:              APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 47:00 Min.

First airing on NBC-TV on May 1, 1990, Christopher Hibler directed this second-to-last Season Four episode off Gerald Sanoff’s script. 

Smarmy Atlanta, GA newspaper cartoonist Ron Winfield (Buktenica) is notorious for teasing imminently salacious scandals in his comic strips.  His favorite targets evidently are self-involved politicians.  Hence, Winfield’s side gig is collecting hush money through his creative extortion efforts.  Taking offense to Winfield’s latest artistic threat is womanizing state Senator Peter Dolan (Haskell) over his extramarital affair with a colleague’s wife (Walsh) being publicly exposed. 

After confronting Winfield late one night at his home, an infuriated Dolan departs after a physical altercation.  However, does he then return to finish off the now-prone cartoonist?  Or perhaps somebody else takes lethal advantage?  It’s up to criminal defense attorneys Ben Matlock (Griffith) and Michelle Thomas (Stafford) to unravel the mystery of who had the most to gain … or perhaps the most to lose by killing a greedy Winfield.  

Ben and Michelle, meanwhile, must navigate a political minefield locally. Who knows if there still might be sordid secrets that Winfield gleefully sought to profit from?

            Cast:

Benjamin “Ben” Matlock: Andy Griffith

Michelle Thomas: Nancy Stafford

Assistant District Attorney Julie March: Julie Sommars

Conrad McMasters: Clarence Gilyard (credits only)

Senator Peter Dolan: Peter Haskell

Ron Winfield: Ray Buktenica

Mickey Alder: Claudia Christian

Sandra Hopkins: Gwynyth Walsh

Senator David Hopkins: Wayne Tippit

Judge Richard Cooksey: Richard Newton

Dolan’s Private Attorney: Mark Joy

Jury Foreperson: Ruth Peebles

Jury Members: Uncredited

Courtroom Gallery Spectators: Uncredited.       

REVIEW:

Unsurprisingly, it’s standard-issue Matlock whodunnit formula with the big ‘gotcha’ courtroom climax. Still, including spot-on guest star Peter Haskell, a game cast surpasses the script’s tawdry inferences and makes “The Blackmailer” watchable rerun fare.  Though this episode is instantly forgettable, plotting for “The Blackmailer” is a few shades more intriguing than an average Matlock.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                    5½ Stars

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WELCOME BACK, KOTTER: BRIDE AND GLOOM (Season 4: Episode 14)

SUMMARY:                        RUNNING TIME: 26:00 Min.

This fourth-and-final season episode of Welcome Back, Kotter first aired on January 13, 1979, on ABC-TV.  It also served as John Travolta’s second-to-last appearance as ‘Vinnie Barbarino.’  Due to an ongoing creative/contract dispute, star Gabe Kaplan neither appears, nor is his character’s non-presence acknowledged in this storyline.  Norman Abbott directed this episode off Earl Barret & George Bloom’s script.

Juan Epstein (Hegyes) prods his best friend, Vinnie Barbarino (Travolta), into marrying his Guatemalan cousin, Angelina (Levario) into a quickie marriage/divorce to ensure her American citizenship. Television-saturated and constantly demanding, Angelina doesn’t speak English, which necessitates Epstein’s services as Vinnie’s translator.  Despite Vinnie’s desire to hush the matter, word quickly circulates to ‘The Sweathogs’ (Hilton-Jacobs, Palillo, & Shortridge); his academic counselors (Strassman & White); and the entire high school student body.

Vinnie’s trepidations over marrying Angelina worsen once she makes specific (and likely expensive) demands for the wedding.  ‘The Sweathogs’ further egg the situation on during a best-forgotten bachelor’s party the night before.  Vinnie & Angelina’s marriage ceremony takes an unexpected swerve once her passion for singer Freddy Fender comes into play.   

                                          Cast:

Gabriel “Gabe Kotter: Gabriel “Gabe” Kaplan (credits only)

Julie Kotter: Marcia Strassman

Vinnie Barbarino: John Travolta (as special guest star)

Michael Woodman: John Sylvester White

Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington: Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs

Arnold Horshack: Ron Palillo

Beau DeLabarre: Stephen Shortridge

Angelina: Rachel Levario

Sally: Linda McCullough

Priest: Uncredited

Marimba Player: Uncredited.

REVIEW:

Aside from ‘The Sweathogs’ not even remotely resembling teenagers, the absence of series star Gabe Kaplan is just as glaring.  Still, had Kaplan appeared and pitched a few wisecracks, even his trademark quips wouldn’t have salvaged this dreck. 

Despite game efforts from Robert Hegyes, John Travolta, and guest star Rachel Levario, there’s just one single LOL gag before the last commercial break.  Otherwise, considering its eye-rolling premise, all viewers get is a dubious Latina immigrant stereotype and cliché-fest. 

Let’s just say that “Bride and Gloom” is best left in the Late 1970’s TV rerun dustbin.         

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       3 Stars

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HAUNTED HISTORY: HAUNTED CARIBBEAN (Season 2: Episode 10)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: Approx. 47:00 Min.

As Haunted History’s final U.S. episode, “Haunted Caribbean” first aired on The History Channel on August 11, 2001.  Narrated by actor John Glover, this installment explores reputedly haunted locations in various Caribbean locales.  Included are uncredited reenactments of Caribbean regional history and reported sightings (i.e. interviewees Gerald and Loretta Hausman play themselves reenacting an unsettling incident where a ghost pirate ‘threatens’ a sleeping Gerald).    

Starting with Fort San Cristobal in San Juan, Puerto Rico, anthropologist Michael Gleeson and historian Milagros Flores discuss eerie legends associated with the locale.  Among them are reported encounters with an imprisoned Spanish captain, a ghostly Spanish soldier on guard duty, and the infamous Devil’s Sentry Box.  The empty Sentry Box purportedly has a history where numerous overnight guards vanished without a trace.     

For the Jamaica segment, married folklorists and authors Gerald Hausman and Loretta Hausman discuss ghostly sightings at “Blue Harbor” (aka the Noël Coward House) situated on Cabrita Island.  It’s acknowledged that fellow interviewee Gleeson owns Coward’s former estate. 

Next discussed are local legends associated with notorious 17th Century pirate Henry Morgan and those of alluring mermaids killing their male prey.  Another Jamaican locale explored is the reputedly haunted Edinburgh Castle.  Its initial owner, Dr. Lewis Hutchinson, is believed to have been a mass serial killer.  Similarly, the ghost of slave owner Annie Palmer, known as the sadistically evil ‘White Witch of Rose Hall,’ supposedly haunts her former plantation.  It’s acknowledged that both Hutchinson and Palmer subsequently met foul endings through evidently karmic justice in Jamaica.

Moving on to the St. Thomas beach in the U.S. Virgin Island, the initial topic is the presence of ghosts associated with 1853’s cholera plague victims.  Local resident Joseph LaPlace is interviewed, as is historian David Knight.  Also discussed are reputed (and unrelated) hauntings of two private homes at St. Thomas: one dating to the 19th Century and the other on Charlotte Amalie Harbor.  In this segment, local residents Kenneth L. Brick and Kate McDonnell are interviewed, as is author Joan Medicott.  The 19th Century legend of local voodoo enthusiasts attempting to turn a deceased elderly recluse into a zombie is also told.  

Lastly, at St. Croix, the “One North” estate once owned by a Mary Pomeroy is examined.  Including reenactments, the late Pomeroy (portrayed by an uncredited actress) resorted to a Catholic Church-sanctioned exorcism to cleanse her home.  According to a subsequent owner, George Tyler, the recruited priest’s efforts evidently succeeded.

Glover concludes by noting that haunting mysteries abound in the Caribbean, in spite of the region’s popularity with tourists.        

Notes: Including one standalone special (with actor Michael Dorn as the narrator), Glover’s U.S. version produced 26 episodes over two seasons between 1998 and 2001.  Haunted History’s 1998 British version lasted one season consisting of six episodes, which explored more historically-based stories in the United Kingdom, the U.S., and Tasmania.

REVIEW:

Clearly made on the cheap, the episode’s intriguing historical context and vivid tourist advertisement (stock) footage help make this show watchable.  Still, given this show’s low-rent production values (i.e. being filmed on videotape and the dubious reenactments), it’s a stretch taking “Haunted Caribbean” seriously. 

A lack of verifiable historical documentation of these hauntings is a glaring red flag, in spite of some seemingly credible interviewees.  The same applies to an over-generalization of local folklore/superstitions and stereotyping local residents (i.e. the region’s African and Spanish descendants) as being wary, if not fearful, of the supernatural.  One wonders if the lack of native input (at least, on-screen) is coincidental, in terms of the controversial claims Haunted History seeks to push.    

Regarding John Glover’s off-screen presence, it’s a mixed bag.  Hiring him as the series narrator, theoretically, makes good sense.  Viewers could presume that his narrative style meant to convey the same unsettling, almost creepy vibe Paul Winfield’s voice added to City Confidential’s lurid, real-life whodunnits – or perhaps mimic Robert Stack on Unsolved Mysteries.   However, when considering the contentious paranormal subject matter and his obviously scripted comments, let’s just say Glover’s contribution falls short of convincing armchair skeptics.

While “Haunted Caribbean” is instantly forgettable, its tidbits of often sinister historical fact dating back long before Christopher Columbus may still whet one’s curiosity.           

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                           4 Stars

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