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FANTASY ISLAND {1979}: SÉANCE / THE TREASURE (Season 2: Episode 14)

SUMMARY:                       RUNNING TIME: 45:00 Min.

ABC-TV first broadcast this mid-season episode on January 13, 1979.  Mr. Roarke and Tattoo host this week’s guests: a young heiress who wishes to contact her dead twin brother through a séance; and a blue-collar fisherman brings along his down-to-earth wife to explore life as an instant multi-millionaire. 

Meanwhile, Tattoo has inadvertently ‘stolen’ a pony from somewhere on the island.  Also briefly seen is another guest (a mild-mannered news reporter, no less) living out his dream as Superman – though the character’s name is never stated, presumably for copyright purposes. 

Mr. Roarke: Ricardo Montalbán

Tattoo: Hervé Villechaize

Clare Conti (“Séance”): Eve Plumb

Todd Conti (“Séance”): Uncredited (possibly Eve Plumb)

Victor Conti (“Séance”): Leslie Nielsen

Eddie Loomis (“Séance”): Ross Bickell

Denise Morot (“Séance”): Stepfanie Kramer

Claude Morot (“Séance”): Joseph Hacker

Eva Capos (“The Treasure”): Shelley Fabares

Joe Capos (“The Treasure”): George Maharis

Party Guests (“The Treasure”): Warren Munson, Doug Banks, & Dorit Renier

McCloud (“The Treasure”): Michael Fox

Rancher: Don Megowan

Island Dancers: Uncredited

Island Inhabitants: Uncredited

‘Clark Kent:’ Uncredited

REVIEW:

Though Montalbán and Villechaize are in reliably good form, their guest stars fail to bring their A-game or even their B-game.  “Séance’s” plot thread presents some dark turns, but this supernatural potboiler is mediocre to the hilt.  Still, the outlandish spectacle of two explosive séances solving a murder-mystery is better viewing than “The Treasure.” 

When one sees Fabares & Maharis’ casually-dressed couple actually go scuba diving without equipment (aside from a single mask), “The Treasure’s” quality control instantly sinks with them.  This get-rich-quick fable is so predictable and illogical that the entire cliché-fest becomes virtually unwatchable. 

In particular, there shouldn’t be viewer sympathy for Maharis’ self-absorbed and nasty Joe Capos, i.e. as to how monetary wealth can be corruptive and why a happy marriage offers far greater wealth.  The only sympathy that should be extended is to co-star Fabares for being stuck with a crummy script.

As for Tattoo’s pony, this minor side story is mildly charming, as are the Superman/Clark Kent sight gags eliciting a quick chuckle.  The insurmountable problem, however, is that two ridiculous storylines suffer from undeniably dreadful acting.  Ironically, it makes sense that Nielsen’s cynical uncle would be this episode’s most believable guest character.     

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  3 Stars

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HERCULE POIROT: LORD EDGWARE DIES (1934 Film)

SUMMARY:        RUNNING TIME: 80:00 Min. (Black & White)

Released in 1934, through Radio Studios, this British film (directed by Henry Edwards) is Twickenham Film Studios’ adaptation of Agatha Christie’s same-named suspense novel.  At the behest of a glamorous actress, Belgian private detective Hercule Poirot and his associate, Captain Hastings, attempt to persuade her far-older husband, Lord Edgware, to consent to a divorce in order for her to marry another British aristocrat. 

Shortly thereafter, Edgware’s brazen homicide in his own home leads Poirot and Hastings to suspect that someone is cleverly framing his estranged wife, in spite of her well-established alibi at an opulent dinner party.  The question becomes: who, in fact, murdered the snobbish Edgware?  And why?  Worse yet, an unremorseful culprit is liable to strike more than once.

Hercule Poirot: Austin Trevor

Capt. Hastings: Richard Cooper

Lady Edgware (aka Jane Wilkinson): Jane Carr

Bryan Martin: Leslie Perrins

Inspector Japp: John Turnbull

Geraldine Edgware: Sophie Stewart

Lord Edgware: C.V. France

Duke of Merten: P. Kynaston Reeves

Alice: Phyllis Morris

Other Credited Cast Members: Brenda Harvey; S. Victor Stanley; Hargrave Pawson; Conway Dixon; &

Quenton McPherson

Notes: This movie would be Trevor’s third and final cinematic appearance as Poirot.  The novel’s alternate American title is Thirteen at Dinner (which was utilized for Peter Ustinov’s 1985 TV movie adaptation co-starring Faye Dunaway).

REVIEW:

Admirably, the film’s script adheres close to Christie’s source material.  This same observation extends to a decent supporting cast inhabiting the plot’s various suspects and witnesses.  The actors chosen to convey Poirot’s most well-known associates: Captain Hastings and Scotland Yard’s Inspector Japp are bland, but they hardly impact this film’s quality.    

The insurmountable liability, however, is Austin Trevor’s miscasting as the impeccable Belgian sleuth.  Glaringly missing Poirot’s trademark moustache, the tall and dapper Trevor far closer resembles a generic Sherlock Holmes.   Ironically, the actor portraying Hastings is nearly a visual match (aside from being slimmer) to the literary Poirot. 

Effectively ruining this movie, the most tone-deaf aspect of Trevor’s performance is his phony and virtually non-intelligible accent (something haplessly trying to convey French/Belgian/German).  Suffice to say, his squeaky-sounding effort will quickly grate any viewer’s nerves. 

By comparison, in the Pink Panther film series, Peter Sellers deliberately played up Inspector Clouseau’s garbled French accent for laughs.  Trevor’s snooze-fest as Poirot, unfortunately, does not, which makes for a long seventy-five plus minutes.  One is left wishing Lord Edgware Dies had been a silent movie where dialogue cards would substitute for Trevor’s voice, so this film would be at least watchable.    

It’s a shame, too.  This rudimentary adaptation had potential to be an early pinnacle in Poirot storytelling on film, at least prior to 1974’s Murder on the Orient Express starring Albert Finney.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  3 Stars

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THE ADDAMS FAMILY: HALLOWEEN WITH THE ADDAMS FAMILY (Season 1: Episode 7)

SUMMARY:          RUNNING TIME: 25:00 Min. (Black & White)

First broadcast on ABC-TV on October 30, 1964, Sidney Lanfield directed this episode.  On Halloween Night, two hapless crooks opt to hide out in the Addams mansion to evade the police.  They soon realize what a foolhardy mistake they’ve made accepting this invitation.   

Morticia Addams: Carolyn Jones

Gomez Addams: John Astin

Wednesday Addams: Lisa Loring

Pugsley Addams: Ken Weatherwax

Lurch: Ted Cassidy

Thing: ‘Itself’

Grandmama: Blossom Rock (aka Marie Blake)

Uncle Fester: Jackie Coogan

Claude: Don Rickles

Marty: Skip Homeier

Cop #1: George Barrows

Cop #2: Uncredited

REVIEW:

The clichéd premise, unsurprisingly, mirrors similar episodes of The Munsters.  Still, this episode delivers some welcome hilarity for a Halloween-themed sitcom binge-fest.  Suffice to say, it’s a spot-on Addams Family TV treat.      

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  5½ Stars

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THE ADDAMS FAMILY: THE ADDAMS FAMILY GOES TO SCHOOL (Season 1: Episode 1)

SUMMARY:        RUNNING TIME: 25:00 Min. (Black & White)

ABC-TV first broadcast the series premiere (directed by Arthur Hiller) on September 18, 1964.  The local school district attempts to persuade Morticia & Gomez Addams to enroll their young children, Pugsley and Wednesday, in school.  Suffice to say, the truant officer’s two bewildering visits inside the Addams home is cause for second thoughts … especially when Morticia & Gomez offer suggestions to improve learning.

Morticia Addams: Carolyn Jones

Gomez Addams: John Astin

Wednesday Addams: Lisa Loring

Pugsley Addams: Ken Weatherwax

Lurch: Ted Cassidy

Thing: Jack Voglin

Grandmama: Blossom Rock (aka Marie Blake)

Uncle Fester: Jackie Coogan

Sam Hilliard: Allyn Joslyn

Miss Comstock: Madge Blake

Miss Morrison: Nydia Westman

Mailman: Rolfe Sedan

Trivia Notes: Two years later, Madge Blake acquired her best-known role: portraying Dick Grayson’s live-in Aunt Harriet on Batman. Speaking of Batman connections, Astin would briefly replace Frank Gorshin as Season 2’s Riddler.  After playing a Batman villainess, Jones was one of three actresses later cast as Wonder Woman’s mom, Queen Hippolyta, for Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman TV series.  Not to be outdone, Cassidy served as the opening credits narrator (and the Hulk’s voice) on TV’s The Incredible Hulk.   

REVIEW:

With the regular cast in vintage form, the show’s macabre humor exudes not only in the terrific visual gags, but the nonchalant dialogue as well.  While there’s nothing remarkable about “The Addams Family Goes to School” (it’s just a standard episode), this installment still holds up well nearly sixty years later.  The only parental note is that the show’s quirky brand of comedy skews to slightly older children than The Munsters typically do.       

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                         6 Stars

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TED HEALY & THE THREE STOOGES: “BEER AND PRETZELS” (1933)

SUMMARY:     RUNNING TIME: 20:00 Min. (Black & White)

In 1933, MGM released Beer and Pretzels, as the second of its comedy short series starring Ted Healy, the future Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, & Jerry “Curly” Howard), and Healy’s off-screen girlfriend, Bonnie Bonnell.  The plot is meant to loosely spoof Healy’s real-life reputation as a ‘ladies’ man.’  Jack Cummings directs The Stooges’ first two-reel comedy, with original music written by Al Goodhart & lyricist Gus Kahn. 

Ted’s incessant womanizing costs them the quartet their gig as performers at the Happy Hour variety theater. Hence, the unemployed Stooges press their leader into getting them all jobs as waiters at a swanky nightclub.  The club’s glamorous singer becomes the latest of Ted’s would-be romantic conquests. 

Mayhem ensues, as Ted and his hapless buddies harass the clientele while inviting themselves into the club’s featured entertainment.  An ironic finish awaits the gang, as Ted can’t seem to keep his promises. 

Ted: Ted Healy

Moe: Moe Howard

Larry: Larry Fine

Curly: Jerry “Curly” Howard

Nightclub Singer (Bonny Latour): Bonnie Bonnell

Singing Bartenders: The Three Ambassadors (Jack Smith, Martin Sperzel, & Al Teeter)

Theatre Manager: Ed Brophy

Nightclub Manager: Fred Malatesta

Tap Dancing Trio: Uncredited

Undercover Cop: Uncredited

Nightclub Patrons: Uncredited

REVIEW:

Great premise, lackluster execution.  Wasting the Stooges in unfunny gags, Beer and Pretzels is definitely a swing and a miss.  Despite the film’s welcome sprinkles of old Hollywood charm, what’s obvious is how superfluous a smooth-talking Healy is to the Stooges. 

Looking remarkably youthful, the Stooges merely hint at the legendary slapstick material they would unleash (without Healy) at Columbia Pictures only a few years later.  With perpetual straight man Healy setting up most of their cues here, the Stooges try their thankless best to make him look good.  Frankly, given this uninspired script, it’s all for naught.     

From start to finish, neither Healy nor the Stooges conjure up anything remotely hilarious – i.e. smacking each other with a palm to the forehead isn’t worth a chuckle.  Even a big fight scene is just that – a barroom brawl that sets up the final scene and nothing more. 

The finish saves the film’s best potential gag for last; invariably, what ought to have been an outrageous Groucho Marx-style visual twist becomes a weakly low-key cop-out.  It’s really no wonder that Beer and Pretzels utterly fails to exploit the fun opportunity it has on tap.   

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                 3 Stars

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THE INCREDIBLE HULK RETURNS

SUMMARY:                RUNNING TIME: 1 Hour, 40 Min.

After a nearly six-year hiatus following CBS-TV’s cancellation of the original TV series, NBC-TV broadcast the first Incredible Hulk reunion film on May 2, 1988.  Bill Bixby produced and (unofficially) co-directed the movie with its screenwriter/credited director, Nicholas Corea, in the first-ever, live-action team-up of Marvel Comics super-heroes.   

Notes: The movie’s co-producers: New World Television (Marvel Comics’ then-owner) and Bixby’s production company excluded series creator Kenneth Johnson from participation.  Unlike the two subsequent reunion films, Returns was more scenically filmed in Southern California with a larger budget – i.e. filming Maggie Shaw’s ‘home’ on Malibu’s shoreline; recycling archival footage from the original 1977 TV pilot; and re-editing the TV show’s opening credits segment for this film.   

It has been two years since David Banner’s (Bill Bixby) last explosive Hulk-out.  Now re-established in Los Angeles, as the enigmatic ‘Dr. David Bannion,’ Banner is romantically involved with his colleague, bio-geneticist Dr. Maggie Shaw (Lee Purcell)

More so, Banner is the project leader for the Lambert Institute’s new ‘Gamma Transponder,’ which is hyped for its massive potential recycling radioactive waste energy.  While Banner’s ulterior motive is to use the Transponder to finally cure himself, an Lambert Institute insider sells the Transponder’s experimental technology on the black market.

Banner’s efforts are further complicated by the arrival of former student and now-physician, Dr. Donald Blake (Steve Levitt), with his own unwanted, Marvel-friendly partner: the battle-happy Thor (Eric Allan Kramer).  Due to the Hulk and Thor’s repetitive interference,  two ruthless Cajun mercenaries and their gang become increasingly desperate to obtain the Transponder’s secrets. 

Perhaps even worse yet for Banner is the threat of his old nemesis: tabloid journalist Jack McGee, who smells a connection between this elusive ‘Dr. Bannion’ and the resurfaced Hulk.    

Dr. David Banner / Dr. David Bannion: Bill Bixby

The Hulk: Lou Ferrigno

Dr. Margaret “Maggie” Shaw: Lee Purcell

Dr. Donald “Don” Blake: Steve Levitt

Thor: Eric Allan Kramer

Joshua “Josh” Lambert: John Gabriel

Zack Lambert: Jay Baker

Mike Fouche: Charles Napier

Jack LeBeau: Tim Thomerson

Biker Bar Girl: Peisha Arten (aka Peisha McPhee)

Roy (Security Guard): Uncredited

Jogging Beach Girl: Uncredited

Mark (McGee’s Editor – voice only): Uncredited

LeBeau’s Henchman: Nick Costa; Carl Ciarfalio; Bobby McLaughlin; Burke Denis; & Donald Willis

TV Series Credits Narrator: Ted Cassidy (uncredited archival voice)

More Notes: As a double-feature, this title, along with its 1989 sequel, “The Trial of the Incredible Hulk,” has been released to DVD. Among various logic and visual gaffes one might spot, there’s even a verbal contradiction of the original TV series.  Blake’s dialogue remembers a then-bearded, academic Banner as “his favorite scientist” and a “resident Merlin” at Harvard a decade before.  That claim doesn’t jive with the show’s first-season time frame (1978) where a ‘dead’ Banner was already the Hulk and on the run as a fugitive.  

REVIEW:

In spite of its adherence to the TV series opening credits and Lance Rubin’s mimicking of Joseph Harnell’s familiar theme music, The Incredible Hulk Returns makes no pretense to Kenneth Johnson’s insistence upon character depth.  Along with its rudimentary dialogue, this film’s easy-to-digest, action-adventure plot is built for undemanding all-ages entertainment, i.e. Thor’s guest presence in a backdoor pilot for his own possible TV series. 

It’s then no surprise that Bill Bixby’s normally Emmy-caliber acting seems utterly phoned in this time.  Though Bixby isn’t at his best, he still re-establishes the reliable TV magic shared with Lou Ferrigno & Jack Colvin.  Consider that a welcome solace, as compared to what little characterization their supporting cast is given to work with. 

In particular, the cardboard TV baddies played by familiar suspects Tim Thomerson and Charles Napier too often resort to simplistic clichés and catchphrases explaining their rationale as black market cutthroats.  Fortunately, Lee Purcell and Steve Levitt, given their own circumstances, still conjure up likable efforts, along with Eric Allan Kramer’s not-so-mighty/bright yet amusingly goofy Thor. 

Overcoming its ultra-cheesy special effects and a deliberately hokey plot, The Incredible Hulk Returns easily surpasses its two successors, in terms of both Hollywood production values and pure entertainment value.  Suffice to say, with some help from the first live-action ‘Thor,’ Bixby & Ferrigno’s welcome reunion offers all a Late 80’s TV movie budget reasonably can, with nostalgic charm to spare.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  6 Stars

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WWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS – THE BRITISH BULLDOGS (DAVEY BOY SMITH & THE DYNAMITE KID) VS. KING KONG BUNDY & “BIG” JOHN STUDD, WITH BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN {Non-Title Match} (WWF Televison: Taped May 7, 1986)

SUMMARY:                                   RUNNING TIME: 6:58 Min.

Though the arena isn’t identified, this non-title house show bout was taped for WWF television on May 17, 1986.  Occurring several weeks after WrestleMania 2, the WWF World Tag Team Champions – The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & The Dynamite Kid) face Bobby Heenan’s behemoth duo: King Kong Bundy and “Big” John Studd.  One can hear Heenan wisely advising his befuddled charges to slow things down into their style of brawling vs. allowing the fast-paced action the agile Bulldogs excel in. 

The commentators are: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, & Ernie Ladd.  Having done the math, Sammartino mentions that Bundy alone outweighs the lithe Bulldogs.   

REVIEW:

Seeing the Bulldogs in their championship prime is a welcome treat, even against sluggish opposition like Studd & Bundy.  This inconclusive bout itself doesn’t accomplish much, but two elements are readily present. 

First, the far smaller Bulldogs are impressive outclassing two of WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan’s biggest challengers.  Indicating they could defeat them, it’s a bold move by the WWF stating somebody other than Hogan, the Junkyard Dog, & André the Giant can effectively trade blows with the lumbering Studd & Bundy.  Suffice to say, even this match’s non-finish adds early depth to the Bulldogs’ title reign.

Secondly, the WWF teases a potential Bundy vs. Studd feud to gauge fan interest.  This spot is decently played, though nothing further occurred prior to Studd’s departure from the WWF in late 1986.  If anything, this relatively fast showdown is a neat reminder of how the Bulldogs revitalized the WWF’s mid-80’s tag team scene.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                     6 Stars

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RICKY “THE DRAGON” STEAMBOAT VS. “RAVISHING” RICK RUDE, WITH BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN (WWF SuperStars of Wrestling: Taped February 6, 1988)

SUMMARY:                     RUNNING TIME: 11:12  Min.

Taped at Hersheypark Arena, in Hershey, PA, supposedly on February 6, 1988, this bout leads off an episode of the WWF’s syndicated SuperStars of Wrestling TV series.  Commencing a rematch shortly after the WWF’s original Royal Rumble, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat faces off vs. Bobby Heenan’s ultra-arrogant henchman: “Ravishing” Rick Rude. 

The commentators are: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, & Jesse “The Body” Ventura, who tease the ‘major’ WWF World Championship controversy stemming from NBC’s The Main Event the night before.   

REVIEW:

Though this bout isn’t as good as their Royal Rumble clash, Ricky Steamboat and Rick Rude exude terrific in-ring chemistry.  To start tilting viewers towards hype for the upcoming WrestleMania IV, additional star power is included from “The King” Harley Race, Hercules, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, and a young Ultimate Warrior. 

Overall, this Steamboat vs. Rude encounter isn’t DVD-worthy, but it still packs sufficient fun for at least one viewing.  Also, one should consider this bout (not to mention, their Royal Rumble showdown) as a prelude to Steamboat & Rude’s awesome slugfests in WCW four years later.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:               5½ Stars

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RANDY SAVAGE (WITH ELIZABETH) VS. CURT HENNIG (WCW Monday Nitro: Aired August 11, 1997)

SUMMARY:                          RUNNING TIME: 6:23  Min.

Though the arena isn’t identified, this match was taped for WCW Monday Nitro on August 11, 1997.  On one side is the NWO’s “Macho Man” Randy Savage, with his ex-wife/valet/manager, Elizabeth.  Opposing them is WCW’s latest recruit from the rival WWF: Curt Hennig – the former “Mr. Perfect,” who hasn’t decided yet on what faction he will likely join.  For historical purposes, this TV bout pits the WWF’s sporadic ‘Perfect Team’ from 1992-93 against each other.    

On commentary are Tony Schiavone, “Iron” Mike Tenay, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.  Guest appearances are made by Diamond Dallas Page, Scott Hall, and “The Total Package” Lex Luger. 

REVIEW:

Slowed by accumulative injuries, the 39-year old Hennig has trouble keeping pace with a still-spry, 44-year old Savage.  What little viewers witness won’t nostalgically remind them of Savage & Hennig’s chemistry at the WWF’s 1992 Survivor Series.  Playing a tweener, Hennig simply looks lethargic against Savage’s more aggressive and relentless heel (including his patented move of cowering behind Elizabeth). 

What sinks this already mediocre bout is plenty of pointless outside interference – i.e. why would Page pounce on Hennig, if Savage is his current arch-enemy?  Once Page, Hall, and then Luger all hit the ring, Hennig goes conveniently out of sight and is instantly forgotten.  Hence, the focus inexplicably shifts to Luger protecting Page from Savage & Hall’s NWO gang beating. 

Had WCW trusted Savage and Hennig to conjure up a decent TV showdown (including an actual conclusion), what they had going was sufficient – just barely.  Yet, by resorting to the typical WCW trash finish, this bout’s meager potential is unsurprisingly wasted for viewers.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  3½ Stars

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NIKITA KOLOFF VS. AL PEREZ, WITH GARY HART (NWA World Championship Wrestling: Taped 6-25-88)

SUMMARY:                             RUNNING TIME: 6:32  Min.

This match’s latter portion appeared on the NWA’s World Championship Wrestling TV program, on or about June 25, 1988.  

Taped at the James L. Knight Center, in Miami, FL, the bout actually occurred at Clash of the Champions II: Miami Mayhem (June 8, 1988).  This match’s uncut running time is 11:51. Setting up a feud for the annual “Great American Bash” house show tour, “The Russian Nightmare” Nikita Koloff faces off vs. Gary Hart’s protégé: former WCCW (World Class) Champion “The Latin Heartthrob” Al Perez.  As an outnumbered Koloff is wary of, the possibility is open that Hart’s other nefarious associate, Larry Zbyszko, may intervene.   

After announcers Tony Schiavone and David Crockett introduce this match (already in progress), the ringside commentators are Schiavone and Bob Caudle.   

REVIEW:

For what little viewers get, pitting Perez’s athleticism against Koloff’s reliable in-ring star power suggests solid potential.  While the underrated wrestling itself is good, what’s missing is some necessary heel charisma from Perez.  The 3-on-1 post-match attack on Koloff offers typical NWA TV shenanigans, but this villainous sequence is hardly must-see viewing. 

Though Koloff vs. Perez offers a decent brawl, a better choice is Koloff battling “Ravishing” Rick Rude (with Madusa) in 1992. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                 5½ Stars

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