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SHREK (2001)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr., 30 Min.

Released in 2001 by DreamWorks Pictures, this animated film co-directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson adapts William Steig’s book, Shrek! 

Notes: In 2002, the film received the first Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. Different formats for Shrek include digital, Blu-Ray, 3D Blu-ray, Ultra HD Blu-ray, DVD, and compilation bundles.

In the medieval kingdom of Duloc, the evil Lord Farquaad (Lithgow) exiles a wide variety of timeless fairy tale characters (i.e. Pinocchio, the Three Blind Mice, a crippled Gingerbread Man, the Three Bears, etc.) to a nearby swamp.  With anti-social ogre Shrek (Myers) as the swamp’s sole resident, he instantly takes offense to these hapless squatters.  In particular, Shrek is annoyed with his new, self-appointed sidekick: the chattering Donkey (Murphy).  To regain his exclusive land, Shrek (with Donkey tagging along) trudges off to Duloc to persuade Farquaad to rescind the squatters’ eviction. 

Meanwhile, Farquaad schemes to become an official king by marrying a princess by picking, Dating Game-style, Bachelorette Princess No. 3: Fiona (Diaz).  The problem is that Fiona is trapped inside a faraway tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon, as only true love will save her.  No problem, Farquaad cynically assumes.  However, his tournament of knights to find an expendable rescuer soon ends after Shrek and Donkey trounce them all.  Farquaad then improvises by convincing Shrek and Donkey to go on a noble quest to rescue Fiona in exchange for the swamp.

Finding their inner heroes, Shrek and Donkey surpass tremendous odds in rescuing Fiona from the highest tower on the highest secluded mountain.  Hiding her own nocturnal secret, Fiona is often at odds with Shrek on their awkward journey home.  Quite reluctantly, she is forced to trust Donkey with the truth behind the magical curse afflicting her.  Once surrendered to Farquaad, Fiona instantly accepts his marriage proposal and urges that they be married that same day. 

In a final quarrel, a dejected Shrek leaves Donkey behind.  It’s up to Donkey and an unexpected friend to convince a despondent Shrek that Fiona shares a destiny with the grumpy ogre.

Primary Voice Cast:

Shrek: Mike Myers

Donkey: Eddie Murphy

Princess Fiona: Cameron Diaz

Lord Farquaad: John Lithgow

Gingerbread Man: Conrad Vernon

Magic Mirror and Geppetto: Chris Miller

‘Monsieur’ Robin Hood: Vincent Cassel

Pinocchio and The Three Little Pigs: Cody Cameron.

REVIEW:

Given it was released nearly a quarter-century ago, Shrek still holds up remarkably well.  One should consider it a genre trailblazer for future animated movies where fairy tale allegories, pop music covers, and a hip sense of self-parody cleverly mesh.  The CGI looked fresh for its time, and, even now, it isn’t a distraction from the film’s romantic comedy plot.

With the voice cast on its game, they sell the storyline’s all-ages humor without resorting to excessive raunchiness.  Though one sight gag (depicting Mother Bear of The Three Bears) is dubious, the movie’s anything-goes satire of fairy tales is well-played.  Ultimately, the first Shrek is worth adding to a family video library, regardless of format.               

NICK’S ODD MOON RATING:                                 8 Stars

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JAKERS! THE ADVENTURES OF PIGGLEY WINKS: SHEEP ON THE LOOSE (Season 1: Episode 17)

SUMMARY:      APPROX.  RUNNING TIME: 23:00 Min.

In the United States (on PBS), the United Kingdom, and Australia, this children’s cartoon series ran for fifty-two episodes over three seasons (2003-2007).  For its time, the program utilized state-of-art 3D CGI animation graphics in its depiction of the anthropomorphic world of Piggley Winks – both in the present-day and mid-1950’s.  This first-season episode initially aired on March 21, 2004. 

In the present-day, Grandpa (aka Piggley Winks) (Lamb) lives with his grown daughter and three small children.  He bemusedly observes his two grandsons, Seamus and Sean (Futterman / Darling), playing with a remote-control car.  Recognizing their inexperience, Grandpa subsequently relates a tale from his own youth.  As he is growing up in mid-1950’s rural Ireland, Piggley (Flanagan) is approximately eight years old.  Young Piggley’s family lives on Raloo Farm in the village of Tara.    

Entrusted by his parents (Taylor & Adler) to supervise the family’s sheep herd, rookie sheepherder Piggley Winks’ overenthusiasm for the job soon prompts Wiley the Sheep (Brooks) to run away.  It’s then up to Piggley, with help from his friends Dannan the Mallard Duck (Strong), Ferny the Bull (Taylor), and his little sister, Molly (Strong), to track down the ‘fugitive’ Wiley.  Piggley is determined to take responsibility for Wiley’s rebelliousness, and, in the process, he understands why Wiley fled.  More so, Piggley’s parents allow their son to learn from his own initiative.  

Seamus and Sean, in the present-day, understand Grandpa’s message to practice more to better enjoy their shared toy.

Voice Cast:

Piggley Winks (young): Maile Flanagan

Piggley Winks (Grandpa): Peadar Lamb

Pádraig/Patrick Winks & Mr. Hornsby: Charlie Adler

Molly Winks & Dannan Mallard: Tara Strong

Elly Winks & Fernando “Ferny” Toro: Russi Taylor

Seamus & Sean: Nika Futterman (U.S.) / Maria Darling (U.K.)

Wiley the Sheep: Mel Brooks.

Notes:  Entitled the same as this episode, a compilation DVD was released in 2006.  The compilation’s other three episodes consist of: Season 2’s Waking Thor; Season 1’s Donkeys Into Racehorses; and Season 2’s Molly Had a Little Lamb.  Also, slightly different versions of these episodes exist – per the series’ policy, American voice actors are used for Grandpa’s family in the present-day sequences for the U.S. audience only.

REVIEW:

Twenty years later, the program’s storytelling retains its undemanding and innocent charm.  Hence, it’s a welcome attraction to those fans who enjoy the unrelated Shaun The Sheep.  Though the 3D CGI animation predictably appears dated, Jakers!’  visuals are still superior to that of its opening credits.  The show’s opening credits, suffice to say, resemble kiddie interactive computer games of that era. 

Keeping in mind the target audience, this average Piggley predicament offers a cute treat for preschoolers.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        5 Stars

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MURDER, SHE WROTE: MURDER IN MILAN (Season 9: Episode 1)

SUMMARY:           APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 47:00 Min.

First airing on CBS on September 20, 1992, Anthony Pullen Shaw (Angela Lansbury’s son) directed this ninth season premiere off Laurence Heath’s script. Jessica Fletcher’s (Lansbury) novel, All The Murderers, has been adapted into a high-profile blockbuster film set to premiere at a glitzy Milan film festival – reminiscent of Cannes. 

Friendly with Jessica, the film’s producing partners: Catherine Wayne and Tom Hiller (Blakely and Desiderio); its up-and-coming director, Jim Randall (Kroeger); leading lady Louise Thayer (Pinsent); and her screenwriter father, Andrew (Coe), are all in attendance.  The same applies to Jessica’s flamboyant friend, Marcello (Romero), and a rival film producer, Steve Morrison (Gleason). Also present is Paul Crenshaw (Harper), who bears mutual professional hostility towards Wayne.  

Randall and Morrison unsuccessfully try double-teaming Ms. Wayne to release Randall from his binding two-year contract. That way, he can direct Morrison’s upcoming high-profile project.  Wayne, to her chagrin, finds that her film’s star (and now Randall’s fiancée), Louise, is hardly inclined to help keep him from being poached from his contractual commitments.  More so, unexplained cost overruns exceeding a million dollars from the end of the film’s production has left Wayne, Hiller, and Randall perplexed. 

With Randall on the phone in another room, an intruder decides to brutally murder the chilly Ms. Wayne inside her posh hotel suite.  Randall is arrested as the crime’s obvious prime suspect, but Louise is the first one to discover the corpse.  It’s then up to Jessica and the local police inspector (DiCenzo) to find Catherine Wayne’s desperate killer.                    

Jessica Fletcher: Angela Lansbury

Catherine Wayne: Susan Blakely

Marcello Abruzzi: Cesar Romero

Jim Randall: Gary Kroeger

Steve Morrison: Paul Gleason

Tom Hiller: Robert Desiderio

Inspector Lombardo: George DiCenzo

Louise Thayer: Leah Pinsent

Andrew Thayer: George Coe

Paul Crenshaw: Robert Harper

Giorgio (paparazzi photographer): Time Winters

Hotel Maid: Grace Kent

Press Agent: Mary Wickliffe

Reporter: Paul Ryan

Other Reporters: Uncredited

Countess: Barbara Pilavin

Party Attendees: Uncredited Extras

Hotel Guests: Uncredited Extras

Milan Policemen: Uncredited Extras.

Catherine’s Office Staff: Uncredited Extras.

Note: Nearly all of this supporting cast had previously appeared on Murder, She Wrote in different guest roles.

REVIEW:

This formulaic ninth season opener serves up glitzy style without the substance.  Aside from wasting Cesar Romero and George DiCenzo in minor roles, the script’s biggest whodunnit flaw is that only the eventual culprit appears remotely suspicious.  Working with a decent guest cast, Angela Lansbury’s Jessica Fletcher makes it look far too easy disposing of this tepid case.  Specifically, Jessica (and her off-screen London legal team) conducts even the most basic investigative work that the Milan police inspector somehow conveniently overlooks.     

Besides telegraphing the culprit and far too little police work, Laurence Heath’s weakly-devised script makes a third glaring blunder.  By depicting ‘Catherine Wayne’ as a tough yet otherwise reasonable businesswoman, it negates virtually the entire roster of suspects, in terms of any plausible motive to kill her. 

Had Susan Blakely’s character been conveyed more as a mean-spirited villainess tempting an imminently harsh fate (no matter how clichéd it sounds), there would at least be some intrigue percolating.  Yet, the closest viewers get to such a twist is the odd inference that no one sheds an iota of grief over her brutal death – even Jessica just shrugs it off.  Instead, everyone comes off as far more self-involved in posed glamour photos for the paparazzi (i.e. the image going into the closing credits).

The victim’s meaningless death spells out how hollow Heath’s underwhelming script really is — and the less said about the ludicrous crime’s details once finally revealed in flashback the better. “Murder in Milan,” in theory, might have been a solid Murder, She Wrote premise. Unfortunately, its vacuous pap fails to generate an ounce of suspense.      

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  2 Stars

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MURDER, SHE WROTE: MURDER — ACCORDING TO MAGGIE (Season 6: Episode 17)

SUMMARY:          APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 47:00 Min.

First airing on CBS on March 4, 1990, John Llewellyn Moxey directed this episode from a script by the program’s co-creator/executive producer, Peter S. Fischer. 

Per a regular practice for Murder, She Wrote’s sixth season, “Murder – According to Maggie” briefly depicts Angela Lansbury’s ‘Jessica Fletcher’ in the first scene introducing the subsequent standalone story.  There is a dual purpose: 1. To allow an elderly Lansbury extended vacation breaks from filming, and 2. To test the waters for potential spinoff options. In this instance, Jessica introduces a tale about her former writing student, Mary Margaret “Maggie (aka “M.M.”) McCauley (Canova)

Unable to get her heartfelt poetry and more down-to-earth literary works published, Maggie has reluctantly established herself in Hollywood’s TV industry.  As the stressed creator/executive producer/head screenwriter of a popular, hard-nosed cop drama, “Beat Cop,” Maggie battles both her ungrateful cast and self-serving TV network executives.  With the likelihood of “Beat Cop” being abruptly cancelled by the scheming network president (Sandy), someone opts to influence that decision through homicide. 

Given that the murder weapon is his own prop gun, the show’s egocentric moron of a star, Bert Rodgers (Thomerson), is subsequently arrested as the prime suspect.  Under pressure from executives (Hickman and Guilbert) to save “Beat Cop,” a snarky Maggie must then play amateur detective.  Evading disapproval from the condescending LAPD homicide detective (Arndt) she is dating, Maggie probes a plethora of self-serving secrets off the set of “Beat Cop.” 

As she fears, it’s likely that one of her own show’s insiders committed murder for an ulterior purpose.           

Jessica Fletcher: Angela Lansbury

Mary Margaret “Maggie” McCauley: Diana Canova

Bert Rodgers: Tim Thomerson

Dana Darren: Leann Hunley

Andy Butler: Bruce Kirby

Brian Thursdan: Dwayne Hickman

LAPD Lt. Vince Palermo: Denis Arndt

Julie Pritzer: Talia Balsam

Keith Carmody: Gary Sandy

Leo Kaplan: Paul Kreppel

Harriet De Vol: Ann Morgan Guilbert

Director: Tom Troupe

Screening Room Projectionist: Vince Howard

LAPD Uniformed Cops: Paul Ganus, Ron Steelman, & Myles O’Brien

Dooley: Greg Norberg

Burnsie: Ben Stack

Vi: Miriam Flynn.

REVIEW:

Entertainment-wise, this derivative episode (*see below) is easily watchable yet just as easily forgotten. In terms of actual storytelling substance, unfortunately, it’s a weak whodunnit – including Lansbury’s phoned-in contribution.  Aside from guest star Diana Canova’s fun presence, the episode’s backstage TV industry chuckles provide its other endearing asset. 

With Fred Dryer’s Hunter as a then-Nielsen ratings rival, it’s obvious that Murder, She Wrote pitches its insipid “Beat Cop” as some good-natured parody along the lines of Police Squad.  Despite its amusing premise, this episode is self-sabotaged by too many subpar contrivances and the cast’s purely routine performances.  Ironically, in terms of laziness, the script’s mediocrity mirrors that of the even more ludicrous “Beat Cop.” 

The following revelation isn’t meant as a plot spoiler, but to demonstrate a sample of this storyline’s dreadful plotting.  Specifically, the mystery’s pivotal clue is ridiculous (one only a bored screenwriter could devise), as it somehow precipitates Maggie and the culprit then converging alone after hours at the studio.  More so, the LAPD have conveniently deduced the same via lab testing before showing up right on cue.  Calling this silly climax a Hollywood TV murder-mystery cliché is frankly an insult to clichés.  More so, the innocuous item providing the script’s eye-rolling clue might be the epitome of inoffensive TV murder-mystery pap.

Peter S. Fischer’s lighthearted script laughs at macho TV cop shows (and, by extension, Hollywood’s jaded industry), but “Murder – According to Maggie” is hardly a gem itself.  It’s just a shame that Canova’s appealing character sinks into rerun oblivion with an inferior whodunnit.         

*Note: Déjà vu!  Moxey and Fischer trotted out this spoofy Murder, She Wrote premise once before in Season Four’s “Steal Me A Story.” In that instance, the fictional TV detective show they gleefully knock is Jack Klugman’s Quincy, M.E. – it’s a bit of foreshadowing considering CBS debuted Diagnosis: Murder six years later. 

Unsurprisingly, this decent Season Four episode suffers the same problem: lots of good TV insider jokes, but its formulaic mystery is simply weak. Between the two of them, “Steal Me A Story” surpasses “Murder – According to Maggie,” due to a slightly more complex plot … and a few extra originality points.  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                   4 Stars

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AWA WORLD CHAMPION MR. SAITO VS. LARRY ZBYSZKO (SUPERCLASH IV: Recorded 4-8-1990)

SUMMARY:                    RUNNING TIME: 16:01 Min.

After losing his AWA World Championship at the Tokyo Dome two months before, self-proclaimed “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko sought to reclaim the title from Mr. Saito (Masa Saito).  Their title rematch headlined the AWA’s last significant show: SuperClash IV.  The site would be Saint Paul Civic Center in Saint Paul, Minnesota, on April 8, 1990. 

At ringside are AWA owner/promoter Verne Gagne and (off-camera) his son, Greg Gagne.  Also present, as representatives of Japanese pro wrestling, are Riki Choshu and Tiger Hattori, to support Saito.  Four-time AWA World Champion Nick Bockwinkel would be this title bout’s special guest referee.  Neither commentary nor on-screen graphics are included, so the unfiltered video footage resembles that of an average house show.    

By year’s end, the AWA essentially became defunct, with only its contractually obligated ESPN programming keeping the promotion alive.  By January 1991, the AWA World Championship had been deactivated.  The AWA’s dissolution, per its bankruptcy, became official as August of 1991.

Note: Verne Gagne’s Minneapolis-based AWA was the American Wrestling Association.

REVIEW:

Some reviewers have judged this Saito/Zbyszko bout harshly, as in a mere ½-star-caliber rating.  Undeniably, the match isn’t good, but it’s not that horrendous, either.  Apart from a single Scorpion Deathlock, Saito and Zbyszko ride a wrestling time warp to the 1950’s.  Evidently, it’s the best that a 48-year-old Saito and 39-year-old Zbyszko could muster. 

To no one’s surprise, this AWA World Title defense is likely 1990’s most methodically mundane.  Zbyszko (the king of stall tactics) and the no-nonsense Saito were both far better in-ring tacticians than the WWF’s then-new World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior.  Unlike the one-dimensional Warrior, their glaring problem is that neither one generates an ounce of fan-friendly charisma.  That’s why this AWA championship bout is a sleep-inducing slog to watch. 

As for why it’s the last noteworthy AWA World Title match, one should beware of the bleak context.  Decimated by the WWF’s mid-to-late 80’s talent raids, Verne Gagne’s thirty-year-old AWA was coasting on fumes by April 1990.  Backstage squabbling had halted cooperative relief from the Von Erichs’ Dallas-based WCCW (World Class Championship Wrestling) and Jerry Lawler’s Memphis-based CWA/USWA (Championship Wrestling Association/United States Wrestling Association). 

Yet, between late 1988 and early 1990, Gagne still had some popular options in anointing a possibly game-changing World Champion. Kerry Von Erich, Nikita Koloff, the acrobatic Tom Zenk (like Koloff, a Minnesota native), or an aging Sgt. Slaughter could have all potentially spearheaded an AWA rebuild.   Besides Zbyszko, prominent heels included Tully Blanchard and Kokina Maximus (aka the WWF’s future Yokozuna) – both of whom appeared on SuperClash IV’s undercard.  Such star power might have sparked AWA’s remaining fanbase a glimmer of hope heading into the 1990’s.   

Gagne’s old school mentality predictably veered towards nepotism in choosing his son-in-law, Zbyszko, as the promotion’s supposed savior.  Per company tradition, this decision made some sense: Zbyszko possessed the necessary technical skills for an AWA World Champion.  His villainous drawing power (a decade after his legendary WWF feud against Bruno Sammartino), however, was dubious at best. 

A title rivalry with a Japanese veteran of Mr. Saito’s caliber wasn’t likely to excite fans stateside to the mediocre AWA product.  Again, this SuperClash IV match-up competed against exciting World Title feuds like the NWA/WCW’s Sting and Lex Luger challenging Ric Flair or the WWF’s Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude (or Hulk Hogan vs. any WWF villain).  Zbyszko’s who-cares? title challenge, in other words, didn’t stand a chance.

Try as they might, Saito and Zbyszko’s no-frills showdown, along with Nick Bockwinkel’s classy presence, will appeal to nostalgic AWA die-hards only.  Ironically, the ring announcer’s post-match confusion is realistic.  More so, having Saito and Zbyszko both question Bockwinkel before he explains the contested three-count to the announcer is a nice touch. 

Unfortunately, this bout’s lackluster action ensures its historical significance would plummet into pro wrestling’s dustbin.     

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                     3 Stars

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AWA/NWA NIGHT (OR NITE) OF CHAMPIONS II (Recorded/Aired Live USA Network: 12-29-1985)

SUMMARY:                   RUNNING TIME: 2 Hrs., 27 Min.

The AWA and NWA, through their short-lived ‘Pro Wrestling U.S.A.’ co-promotional banner, presented the show on December 29, 1985, at the Meadowlands Arena, in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  Evidently, the program was televised on cable by the USA Network that same night. 

The only non-wrestling talent seen on-screen are ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta and, at ringside, Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s Bill Apter.  Per the video’s disclaimer, this show isn’t complete, as at least one match introduction is missing, etc.     

Utilizing a single (and occasionally fuzzy) camera, Night (or Nite) of Champions II presents limited visual angles.  More significantly, neither ringside commentary nor interviews are provided.  Hence, TV viewing is like silently catching a house show from an ideal distance.     

Opening the footage are NWA interviewer Tony Schiavone’s pre-taped bluescreen promos with The Road Warriors & “Precious” Paul Ellering; a bandaged Tully Blanchard & his valet, Baby Doll; and The Rock ‘N’ Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson). 

The event’s card is as follows:

  1. “Cowboy” Ron Bass  vs. J.J. Dillon (Running Time: 5:02)

Quick Take:  By far this show’s weakest entry, as Dillon is no Bobby Heenan when it comes to projecting a villainous manager’s charisma.  Bass finally scores some fan approval near the end.  Rating: 2½/10 Stars.

2. World Midget Champion Little Tokyo vs. “Cowboy” Lang (Running Time: 9:14)

Quick Take: Though midget wrestling, generally, is of dubious taste, both “Cowboy” Lang and Little Tokyo demonstrate remarkable athleticism.  Their match is, suffice to say, better than expected.  Rating: 6½/10 Stars.   

3. AWA Women’s World Champion Sherri Martel vs. Debbie Combs (Running Time: 11:12)

Quick Take: A villainous Martel’s in-ring work is okay, but the veteran Combs helps make up the difference.  Both women contribute solidly tuned performances worthy of the mid-80’s.  Rating: 7/10 Stars.   

4. WWC Universal Champion Carlos Colón vs. The Barbarian (with Paul Jones)  (Running Time: 5:31)

Quick Take: The Barbarian’s potential star power is obvious in spite of a famous Colón’s middling effort.  Their match’s outcome climaxes on an unconvincing reversal, which epitomizes the Barbarian’s career fate as an also-ran.  Rating: 4½/10 Stars.   

5. The Fabulous Freebirds’ Buddy Roberts vs. “Precious” Paul Ellering (Running Time: 4:58) – SPECIAL GRUDGE MATCH

Quick Take: Roberts’ notorious Freebird compatriots (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Terry Gordy) are absent, as he faces a vengeful Ellering alone.  Wearing a neck brace, Ellering, as he would also demonstrate in 1987-88 War Games bouts, appears remarkably gifted in short spurts.  As cheered by the audience, the Road Warriors Hawk & Animal make a ‘guest appearance’ to seek retaliation on Roberts.  Rating:  5½/10 Stars.  

6. NWA World Tag Team Champions: The Rock ‘N’ Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson) vs. The Long Riders: “Wild” Bill Irwin & Scott Irwin (Running Time: 11:48)

Quick Take: Even if the Irwins aren’t first-rate competition, their work against the nimble Rock ‘N’ Rolls at least serves up a standard-issue tag title defense.  In that sense, this bout is certainly watchable.  Rating: 6/10 Stars.   

7. AWA Americas Champion Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov & Chris Markoff (Running Time: 12:52) – HANDCAP RUSSIAN DEATH MATCH

Quick Take: A still-in-his-prime Slaughter scores the loudest audience pop for AWA talent.  Though this rough-and-tumble brawl overstays its welcome, a bloody Slaughter reminds viewers of his drawing power.  As for Zhukov and Markoff – predictably, not so much.  Rating: 6/10 Stars.     

8. NWA U.S. Champion Magnum T.A. vs. Tully Blanchard (with Baby Doll) (Running Time: 12:27)

Quick Take: In the first of back-to-back Starrcade ’85 rematches, this title bout exudes both welcome substance and star power.  With both veterans shedding blood, Magnum T.A. and Blanchard’s classic in-ring chemistry is impressive.  Unquestionably, this showdown is the night’s gem.  Rating: 8½/10 Stars.   

9. NWA World Heavyweight Champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs. “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes (Running Time: 14:51)

Quick Take: The second Starrcade ’85 rematch is programmed as vintage Flair vs. Rhodes straight through to the cop-out ‘Dusty Finish.’  Still, these legends deliver reliable entertainment, in spite of this dubious industry cliché.  Rating: 7/10 Stars.     

10. The Road Warriors: Hawk & Animal (with “Precious” Paul Ellering) vs. The Russian Team: Ivan Koloff & Krusher Khruschev (with Nikita Koloff) (Running Time: 11:14) – AUSTRALIAN TAG TEAM RULES

Quick Take:  Contested under supposed ‘Australian-style’ rules, this brawl’s power-packed choreography is exactly what one would expect.  Even without surprises, it’s some brutally fun nostalgia.  Rating: 6/10 Stars.

11. AWA World Heavyweight Champion Rick Martel vs. Stan “The Lariat” Hansen (Running Time: 13:47)

Quick Take:  The night’s final bout is also a rematch, as its combatants previously faced off at SuperClash ’85: The Night of Champions three months before. Unlike their quick double-DQ finish last time, Martel and Hansen make some AWA history.

Consistent with its realistic choreography, this title showdown is all about pitting a low-key Martel’s ground game vs. Hansen’s vicious, cowboy-style bullying. The result, in all fairness, doesn’t make for the most exciting viewing.  Nonetheless, the AWA could be proud of the old-school workmanship that Martel and Hansen supply – pro wrestling doesn’t have to be solely about vivid personalities. 

For that matter, it says plenty that the New Jersey crowd readily prefers a roughhousing Hansen over the cheerful yet comparatively bland Martel.  Rating: 7/10 Stars.      

Notes: To clarify the acronyms: the AWA is Verne Gagne’s Minneapolis-based American Wrestling Association while the NWA is the National Wrestling Alliance.  The NWA’s talent for this show was supplied by the Crockett Family’s Charlotte, NC-based World Championship Wrestling (WCW) promotion.  The WWC is Colón’s co-owned World Wrestling Council out of Puerto Rico. 

Lastly, the individual match times in this review are mostly going by the official post-match announcements. As other accounts will vary, the match times should be deemed more of a best guess.  

REVIEW:

Scoring a moderate success on the established turf of Vince McMahon’s rival WWF (World Wrestling Federation), the AWA and NWA promoters rightfully should have been encouraged.  Despite lacking the magic of Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, etc., their Night (or Nite) of Champions II efficiently conjures up a product that could compete for any serious wrestling fan.  Conversely, given its minimal production values, where this show falls far short is generating mainstream interest, as compared to the cheesy WWF’s assortment of resources.

Overall, comparing its in-ring content to the WWF’s original WrestleMania only nine months earlier, Night (or Nite) of Champions II readily prevails.  That said, nearly forty years later, the AWA/NWA Night (or Nite) of Champions II deserves a chance for re-discovery.       

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                   6½ Stars

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WWE WORLD CHAMPION EDDIE GUERRERO VS. KURT ANGLE (WWE WrestleMania XX: Aired Live 3-14-2004)

SUMMARY:              RUNNING TIME: 22:30 Min.

WrestleMania XX occurred on March 14, 2004, at New York City’s Madison Square Garden.  One of its two main events would pit the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) World Champion Eddie Guerrero defending his title vs. four-time ex-champion Kurt Angle.  The bout’s ringside commentators are Michael Cole and Tazz.

REVIEW:

This title defense is flawlessly executed.  In their mid-thirties, rugged veterans Guerrero and Angle both still appear in virtually peak technical form.  More so, there aren’t any cheap added components: i.e. outside inference or foreign objects to taint their in-ring star power. 

Their ultra-competitive bout instead focuses on choreography (both masterful and brutal), especially as neither Angle nor Guerrero telegraph the match’s outcome.  In the moments leading up to the inspired finish, one does get a hint, but it’s ingeniously played. 

The match ultimately comes down to Guerrero’s ring savviness and high-flying agility vs. Angle’s pit-bull tenacity and mastery of submission holds.  Decades later, this Guerrero-Angle title showdown absolutely merits re-discovery.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        10 Stars

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WCW STARRCADE ’91: BATTLEBOWL – THE LETHAL LOTTERY (Aired Live: 12-29-1991)

SUMMARY:    APPROX. RUNNING TIME (EDITED): 1 Hr., 38 Min.

On December 29, 1991, from the Norfolk Scope in Norfolk, Virginia, World Championship Wrestling (having separated from the National Wrestling Alliance) produced this annual Starrcade Pay-Per-View. 

For this particular Starrcade, there would not be any singles matches nor any title defenses.  Instead, WCW’s gimmicky ‘Battlebowl’ concept would first pair twenty random tag-teams by an open draw.  These makeshift teams must then prevail in one of ten qualifying elimination matches to enter the 20-man, two-ring battle royal main event. 

Starting in the first ring, nineteen ‘Battlebowl’ competitors gradually shift over to the second ring.  The first ring’s ‘winner’ remains behind awaiting the second ring’s last wrestler.  In order to claim the Battlebowl victory, these two last combatants will then face other in an over-the-top-rope showdown. 

This show’s on-screen presenters are Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt, and the inaugural ‘Battlebowl’ commissioner, Magnum T.A., as they draw and announce the tag team pairings.  Initially appearing in front of the backstage curtain, WCW’s roster is then seen being summoned from two opposing locker rooms.  At ringside are announcers Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone. 

The show’s 40-man roster consists of:

  • WCW World Champion “The Total Package” Lex Luger (with Harley Race)
  • WCW U.S. Champion “Ravishing” Rick Rude (with Paul E. Dangerously aka Paul Heyman)
  • WCW World Television Champion “Stunning” Steve Austin
  • WCW World Tag Team Champions Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat & “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes
  • Sting
  • Ron Simmons
  • The Fabulous Freebirds: Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin
  • The Wild-Eyed Southern Boys: Tracy Smothers & Steve Armstrong
  • Marcus Alexander Bagwell (a rookie “Buff” Bagwell)
  • Van Hammer
  • Big Josh
  • Richard “Ricky” Morton
  • Thomas “Tommy” Rich
  • The Enforcers: Arn Anderson & Larry Zbyszko (with Madusa)
  • El Gigante
  • Jushin Thunder Liger
  • Bill Kazmaier
  • Mike Graham
  • Diamond Dallas Page
  • Terrance “Terry” Taylor
  • Tom “Z-Man” Zenk
  • “Flyin’” Brian Pillman
  • Abdullah the Butcher
  • Cactus Jack (Mick Foley)
  • The Patriots: Todd Champion & Firebreaker Chip
  • Buddy Lee Parker
  • “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton
  • Mr. Hughes (Luger’s on-screen bodyguard)
  • The Steiner Brothers: Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner
  • Big Van Vader
  • Nightstalker (Bryan Clark), as a substitute for Scott “Diamond Studd” Hall (also present)
  • Johnny B. Badd
  • Arachnaman (aka Brad Armstrong)
  • “Rapmaster” P.N. News.

Notably absent are Barry Windham and Nikita Koloff,  as is ex-WCW World Champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (whose abrupt dismissal mid-summer led him to join the World Wrestling Federation).  

Due to the show’s truncated video release, some matches appear in their entirety; several are highlighted; and one is inexplicably omitted.  However, including the competitors’ catwalk-like entrances, the main event is shown intact.

MATCHES:

  1. COMPLETE MATCH: Hayes & Smothers vs. Garvin & Bagwell (12:45)

Winners: Garvin & Bagwell.

2. HIGHLIGHTS: Austin & Rude (with Dangerously aka Heyman) vs. Big Josh & Hammer (12:56)

Winners: Austin & Rude.

3. HIGHLIGHTS: Zbyszko & El Gigante (with Madusa) vs. Rhodes & Morton (5:54)

Winners: Rhodes & Morton.

4. COMPLETE MATCH: Liger & Kazmaier vs. Page & Graham (13:08)

Winners: Liger & Kazmaier.

5. OMITTED: Taylor & Zenk vs. Luger (with Race) & Anderson (10:25)

Winners: Luger & Anderson.

6. COMPLETE MATCH: Cactus Jack & Parker (with Abdullah’s interference) vs. Steamboat & Champion (7:48)

Winners: Steamboat & Champion advance.

7. COMPLETE MATCH: Sting & Abdullah vs. Eaton & Pillman (5:55)

Winners: Sting & Abdullah.

8. HIGHLIGHTS: Rick Steiner & Nightstalker vs. Vader & Hughes (5:05)

Winners: Vader & Hughes.

9. HIGHLIGHTS: Arachnaman & Badd vs. Scott Steiner & Firebreaker Chip (11:16)

Winners: Steiner & Chip advance.

10. HIGHLIGHTS: Simmons & Rich vs. News & Steve Armstrong (12:01)

Winners: Simmons & Rich.

MAIN EVENT: BATTLEBOWL (25:10).  The winner subsequently challenges the WCW World Champion at February 1992’s SuperBrawl II.

Note: On December 28, 1992, at The Omni in Atlanta, Georgia, Starrcade ’92: Battlebowl – The Lethal Lottery II included a similar format.

REVIEW:

In retrospect, Koloff, Windham, and Flair lucked out.  Even if they had participated, it would have made little to no difference bolstering Starrcade ’91’s bland content.  Ross and Schiavone invariably telegraph the main event’s build-up as yet another Sting cliché-fest — paralleling the WWF’s depiction of Hulk Hogan during that era. 

Despite some mild intrigue impacting the show’s oddball tag-teams, frankly nothing occurs that generates must-see viewing — even for a die-hard WCW fanbase.  Case in point: with only two more shows to go before his early 1992 WCW exit, Luger’s boredom as its World Champion is readily evident.  Supporting players, like Steamboat, Pillman, Simmons, Liger, Eaton, Rick Steiner, and even Garvin, at least, try to energize the audience – in spite of the lackluster in-ring action.   

The 20-man Battlebowl itself (which resurfaces on the WWE’s Best of Starrcade DVD set) is, at best, okay entertainment.  Some fun face-offs include: Sting vs. Rude; Steamboat vs. Anderson; Luger vs. Sting; Rude vs. Steamboat; Simmons vs. Luger; Austin vs. Sting; and even a rare Luger vs. Vader.  WCW’s considerable star power, otherwise, is squandered throughout an unremarkable Pay-Per-View.  Even Abdullah’s brutal assault on Parker before his tag match against Sting fails to muster interest.    

Further, a few eye-rolling gimmicks (i.e. Brad Armstrong’s ‘Arachnaman’ phase) mimicking the WWF looked stupid then and have aged even worse seeing them now.  The most tone-deaf offense is failing to include any surefire title match as an added attraction to help anchor this show.  It’s simply a gaping hole that WCW’s elite players can’t divert attention away from fans.  All this show does is wearily continue stirring the pot, so to speak, towards the Battlebowl’s ultra-predictable conclusion. 

Despite a veritable surplus of pro wrestling icons, Starrcade ’91 makes for quickly forgettable viewing.             

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                           4 Stars

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THE SHADOW: THE MISSING LADY (1946)

SUMMARY:                            RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr.

Released by Pathe Pictures, Ltd., in 1946, The Missing Lady was the last of its three black-and-white Shadow adaptations starring the same primary cast that year.  The preceding films were The Shadow Returns and Behind The Mask.  From an original story penned by screenwriter/associate producer George Callahan, Phil Karlson directed this film. 

Note: The obscure Pathe Pictures, Ltd. was evidently associated with Monogram Pictures. Of interest is that The Missing Lady’s noir mystery-wacky comedy formula is reminiscent of a previous Monogram release: 1943’s The Mystery of the 13th Guest.

Murdering wealthy art dealer John Douglas (Lessey) in his home, a nocturnal killer then pilfers the prized statuette dubbed ‘The Jade Lady’ from a display cabinet.  Specifically, the jade statuette is of Quan Yin, the Chinese goddess of mercy.  Lamont Cranston (Richmond), the police commissioner’s crusading nephew, suspects the unknown culprit has stashed the so-called ‘Missing Lady’ somewhere within the city.    

After a month, the Douglas murder remains unsolved. Cranston’s (Richmond) amateur sleuthing has produced few leads, as his undercover stint in a seedy men-only motel leads to a clash with tough-guy mobster Ox (Overman).  As multiple femme fatales become involved, Cranston is subsequently framed for murder twice the same night in his own apartment building.  Compounding Cranston’s probe is a cantankerous and often-befuddled police inspector (Flavin), who would gladly arrest him rather than consider other suspects.    

Cranston (and his masked “Shadow” alter ego) must trace the elusive statuette first to catch the killer (or then again, perhaps there’s multiple killers).  Supporting Cranston are his bumbling valet, Shrevvie (Chandler), and, for their own reasons, the duo’s suspicious girlfriends: Margo Lane (Read) and Jennie Delaney (Kent).  Inevitably, others in pursuit of ‘The Jade Lady’ won’t mind resorting to deadly gunplay to possess this valued artifact.    

Lamont Cranston / The Shadow: Kane Richmond

Margo Lane: Barbara Read

Shrevvie: George Chandler

Jennie Delaney: Dorothea Kent

Police Inspector Cardona: James Flavin

Police Commissioner Weston: Pierre Watkin

Rose Dawson: Claire Carleton

“Ox” Walsh: Jack Overman

Gilda Marsh: Jo-Carroll Dennison

Terry Blake: James Cardwell

Anne Walsh: Frances Robinson

Miss Effie (Elevator Operator # 1): Almira Sessions

Miss Millie (Elevator Operator # 2): Nora Cecil

Jan Field: George Lewis (aka George J. Lewis)

Lefty (Ox’s Associate): Anthony Warde

Harry the Bartender: Dewey Robinson

Waldo (Bar Drunk): Bert Roach

John Douglas: George Lessey

Alfred Kester: Douglas Wood

Motel Clerk: Tom Plank

Motel Guests: Hank Worden & Ted Billings

Cardona’s Plainclothes Cops/Interrogators: Lee Phelps, Eddie Dunn, & Ray Teal

Bar Patrons: Uncredited

Additional Motel Guests: Uncredited.

REVIEW:

This film’s opening credits playfully tease a fun Republic Pictures-style caper, like that rival studio’s serial cliffhangers were known for.  In that decade, Republic Pictures was adept at adapting comic book and pulp heroes (i.e. Captain Marvel/Shazam and Zorro) into campy three-to-four-hour epics.  Pathe Pictures, Ltd. instead ensures sixty minutes with their Shadow ends up a middling waste of an hour.  Peddling a Dashiell Hammett wanna-be mystery as its premise, The Missing Lady is, in other words, a standard-issue cheapie of its time.  That much Pathe’s paltry Shadow knows.     

For instance, despite the setting of an unidentified big city, contrivance doesn’t explain how the major players seemingly live in the same high-end apartment building where multiple murders occur.  More so, this film’s blend of deadly Maltese Falcon noir and insipid screwball comedy (i.e. Margo & Jenny’s vapid ‘jealous girlfriend’ antics; the wacky elevator ladies) doesn’t mesh as a formulaic substitute for a live-action Shadow thriller. It’s a shame to a degree, as the film’s watchable mystery elements are sabotaged by an excess of goofy comedy relief.

Though Kane Richmond is game to play both action hero and Cary Grant, the movie’s lackluster script strands him (along with a decent cast), with little elsewhere to go.  His vigilante ‘Shadow,’ aside from a black mask and appearing a few times in (where else) the shadows, contributes too little to the storyline.  Given how Richmond’s Cranston makes little effort to disguise his voice, it’s an eyeroll that this Shadow’s less-than-terrified targets fail to deduce his alter ego. 

Hence, the supernatural eeriness viewers should expect emanating from the vintage radio show and the pulp stories is devoid from this bland cliché-fest posing as a Shadow caper.  And perhaps the less said about Barbara Read’s silly Margo Lane the better.    

This Missing Lady, unfortunately, proves a weak whodunnit for Lamont Cranston and his Shadow. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                     3½ Stars

Note: For a dose of slam-bang viewing from that era, at least two of Republic Pictures’ black-and-white cliffhanger serials are recommended.  One would be 1939’s Zorro’s Fighting Legion, and another treat is the first live-action super-hero film: 1941’s Adventures of Captain Marvel.

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MYSTERY OF THE 13TH GUEST (1943)

SUMMARY:                RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr., 2 Min.

Released by Monogram Pictures Corporation in 1943, this black-and-white film is a remake of 1932’s The Thirteenth Guest.  Both films were adapted from Armitage Trail’s 1929 crime pulp novel, The 13th Guest.   

Note: Trail’s real name was Maurice R. Coons.

Arriving the night of her 21st birthday at the long-shuttered Morgan family mansion in New York, heiress Marie Morgan (Parrish) is startled to find someone has installed multiple working telephones within the home.  In the dining room where its posh table and thirteen chairs were last used thirteen years before, Marie briefly recalls her terminally ill grandfather’s (Ingraham) last family dinner party. 

Seated with him were his eleven heirs (some of whom are children) and the family attorney.  Told that they all must wait thirteen years for Marie’s 21st birthday to learn of any possible inheritance, nearly all of the heirs share a mutual disdain amongst one another. Oddly enough, given that children are present, the grandfather openly hopes that at least of some of those present will also meet their graves by the time 8-year-old Marie is deemed old enough to appreciate the inheritance.

The flashback sequence ends by shifting back to the present-day. Per her late grandfather’s instructions, Marie opens his sealed last will and testament finding it consists only of an enigmatic code or possibly a safe combination.  Moments later, in the darkened study, she is seemingly killed by electrocution.  The police subsequently find Marie’s seemingly frozen corpse stationed at her assigned seat in the dining room, like she was at Grandpa Morgan’s dinner party.

Meanwhile, having been hired by Marie’s worried uncle (McVey), savvy private investigator Johnny Smith (Purcell) takes the lead in probing a series of homicides linked to the fateful Morgan dinner party.  Along with his bumbling police counterpart (Ryan) and a squad of dim-witted cops, Smith realizes from a hand-drawn diagram that someone is eliminating the family’s surviving heirs per the party’s seating arrangement. 

As shown, from a hidden room, a masked culprit is utilizing a rigged telephone at the Morgan mansion to electrocute victims and then returns their statue-like corpses to their spots at the dining room table. 

It’s up to Smith to figure out who is out to kill for the Morgan inheritance.  More so, are there still other conspirators implementing their own greedy schemes to access a fortune by any means necessary?  Smith’s list of Morgan family suspects expands when Marie turns up alive.  The question becomes: will a masked killer try to eliminate Grandpa Morgan’s evidently favorite heir a second time?  Or is there more to Marie than first meets Smith’s eye?          

Marie Morgan (adult) / Marie’s Impersonator: Helen Parrish

Marie (child): Shirley Jean Anderson

John “Johnny” Smith: Dick Purcell

Police Lt. Burke: Tim Ryan

Tom Jackson: John (or Jon) Dawson

District Attorney: Addison Richards

Harold “Bud” Morgan: John “Johnny” Duncan

Harold (child): Robert J. Anderson

“Speed” Dugan/McGinnis: Frank Faylen

Marjory Morgan: Jacqueline Dalya

Marjory (child): Uncredited

Adam Morgan: Paul McVey

Tom Jackson: John Dawson

Tom (child): Uncredited

Grandfather Morgan: Lloyd Ingraham

John Barksdale: Cyril Ring

Uncle John: Dick Gordon

Dr. Sherwood: Herbert Hayes

Police Sergeant: Mike Donovan

Carter: Lester Dorr

Joe: Joe “Snowflake” Toones

Uncle Wayne: Richard Neill.

REVIEW:

Apart from a ridiculously contrived Laura-like twist early on, Mystery of the 13th Guest packs too few noir surprises.  For instance, the masked villain’s identity reveal won’t likely bewilder anyone.  More disappointingly, no explanation is given for the culprit’s wicked methodology, let alone the teased significance of the empty thirteenth chair, as greed is the only implied motive. Hence, welcome intrigue from the plot’s initially macabre tone turns out mostly for naught.  

What this film instead has going, strangely enough, is an enthusiasm for witty screwball humor.  It’s sufficient compensation considering this obscure whodunnit is otherwise hampered by razor-thin genre stereotypes posing as characters.  Despite their caricatured roles, Dick Purcell, Tim Ryan, Frank Faylen, &, in her limited screen time, Jacqueline Dalya, playfully pitch and catch jokes without disrupting the storyline too much.

Case in point: there is a hilarious gem at the end where Ryan’s exasperated police detective unloads on Faylen’s incompetent “Speed” for falling asleep on the job for the umpteenth time. As unremarkable as so many other scenes in this movie are, this sequence’s punchline demonstrates the black comedy potential in the script these actors have some fun with.

By comparison, most of the ensemble cast blandly play their roles exactly as one might expect for a 1943 ‘B’ film. In co-lead Helen Parrish’s case, unfortunately, her average damsel-in-distress’ I.Q. inexplicably diminishes in the story’s second half. It’s no wonder that her “Marie” becomes a forgettable love interest for Purcell’s detective and relegated to the supporting cast.

Mystery of the 13th Guest, in that sense, surely isn’t a must-see.  Catching this witty caper, however, once as a freebie might be an unexpected treat for fans of comedic whodunnits. It also makes for a decent double-feature option for either 1945’s And Then There Were None or 2009’s spoofy Dark and Stormy Night (both in black-and-white).

Trivia Note: Passing away in August 1944, Dick Purcell was cinema’s first live-action Captain America.  Purcell’s 1944 cliffhanger serial also posthumously made him the headliner of the first Marvel Comics-related theatrical production.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                      Stars

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