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CLUB PARADISE

SUMMARY:         RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr., 35 Min.

Harold Ramis both directed and co-wrote this 1986 Warner Bros. comedy.  As before with Ramis on 1980’s Caddyshack,  Brian Doyle-Murray is among the script’s collaborators and appears in a supporting role.  For the film, several of Ramis and Doyle-Murray’s fellow SCTV alumni: Rick Moranis, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, and Joe Flaherty, among them, help fill out the ensemble cast.    

Reaping a disability insurance windfall, thirty-ish, ex-Chicago firefighter Jack Moniker (Williams) retires to the Caribbean island of Saint Nicholas.  Co-owning his musician friend Ernest’s (Cliff) seedy beachside club, Jack also now faces the wrath of the island’s corrupt prime minister, Solomon Grundy (Caesar) over Ernest’s unpaid taxes.  Needing viable cash flow, Jack is persuaded by his new girlfriend, Phillipa (Twiggy), to push Club Paradise as an ideal tropical resort option for gullible tourists.

Coinciding with Club Paradise’s first wave of mostly unimpressed guests, Grundy and the island’s wealthiest hotel owner (Doyle-Murray) scheme to sell off Saint Nicholas to foreign developers.  The only remaining obstacle is Club Paradise, which resides on the island’s best section of beach.  It’s up to Jack, Ernest, and the island’s aristocratic British governor (O’Toole) to save an imploding Saint Nicholas from a violent revolution once they decline to sell out.

Jack Moniker: Robin Williams

Phillipa Lloyd: Twiggy

Ernest Reed: Jimmy Cliff

Gov. Anthony Croyden Hayes: Peter O’Toole

Terry Hamlin: Joanna Cassidy

Voit Zerbe: Brian Doyle-Murray

Barry Nye: Rick Moranis

Barry Steinberg: Eugene Levy

Prime Minister Solomon Grundy: Adolph Caesar

Linda White & Dr. Randy White: Andrea Martin & Steven Kampmann

Pamela: Antoinette Bower

Mary Lou: Robin Duke

Model: Carey Lowell

Portia: Louise Bennett

Jackie: Mary Gross

Pilot: Joe Flaherty

Mrs. Geddes: Leonie Forbes

Ernest’s Band – Flamboyant: Sydney Wolfe, Ansel Collins, Bertram McLean, Chinna Smith, Wilburn Cole, & Christopher Meredith

Toby Prooth: Simon Jones

Swiss Businessman: Louis Zorich

Dave: Bruce McGill

REVIEW:

Given its middling script, neither Bill Murray (who had declined the lead role) nor Tom Hanks would have fared any better headlining Club Paradise.  Riding a steady flow of smooth Jamaican reggae, an easygoing vibe and gorgeous scenery exude this film’s most appealing elements.  Still, feel-good sentimentality doesn’t disguise a weak cliché-fest lazily packaged as a contrived big-screen sitcom.  Club Paradise’s paint-by-the-numbers plotting has inhabited any number of better comedies, but this good cast simply isn’t given anything funny to do. 

It mostly falls on Harold Ramis and his screenwriters that the comedic firepower of Robin Williams, Eugene Levy, Rick Moranis, and Peter O’Toole is squandered.  Case in point: Moranis and Levy’s moronic cannabis subplot goes nowhere, much like the predicaments of other Club Paradise guests. 

If, during filming, Ramis had hoped Williams’ manic improvisational energies would somehow salvage such formulaic dreck, then all involved miscalculated.  The mellow Robin Williams that filmgoers instead get in Club Paradise is his increasingly harried ‘Jack’ too often fading into the background.    

The sole pleasure in Club Paradise, suffice to say, is for its feature-length commercial hyping Jamaica.  Then again, if one is ever given a dubious option between viewing Club Paradise or 1990’s Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan tropical bore, Joe Versus The Volcano – Robin Williams wins.  His Caribbean clunker, at least, scores a few sporadic laughs.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                      3½ Stars

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THE HEENAN FAMILY (ANDRE THE GIANT, HAKU, ARN ANDERSON, & BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN) VS. THE ULTIMATE WARRIORS (WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, JIM “THE ANVIL” NEIDHART, & THE ROCKERS: MARTY JANNETTY AND SHAWN MICHAELS) {4-on-4 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1989 Survivor Series: Aired 11-23-1989)

SUMMARY:              RUNNING TIME: 20:28 Min.

From the Rosemont Horizon in suburban Chicago, IL, on November 23, 1989, this four-on-four elimination tag match would conclude the WWF/WWE’s 3rd Annual Survivor Series

Captaining his self-named quartet is WWF Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior, who has recruited The Hart Foundation’s Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and The Rockers: Marty Jannetty & Shawn Michaels.    

Led by André the Giant, the Heenan Family consists of: Haku, the Brain Busters’ Arn Anderson, and, as a supposed last-minute substitute, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan himself.  Despite Tully Blanchard’s image being advertised during the show, it is later conveyed to viewers that he had angrily left Heenan’s stable earlier that same night.    

Providing the match commentary are “Gorilla” Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura. 

Notes:  Unlike what is implied on-screen, Blanchard had been quietly released by the WWF in early November 1989.  Having given the same previous notice as Blanchard, Anderson left the WWF almost immediately thereafter.

REVIEW:

With Hulk Hogan’s main event scheduled before intermission, this Ultimate Warrior showcase ending the show is better than expected. 

Upon André’s instant exit (copying his 1989 I-C Title house show series flopping for the Warrior), this match’s enjoyment falls upon Anderson, Haku, and the Rockers.  Their combined workhorse sweat goes far compensating for Blanchard’s regrettable absence.  To a lesser degree, the same applies to Neidhart and even a game Heenan (his pratfalls are still impressive), as far as shielding the Warrior’s limited stamina.

While Anderson & Haku concoct a formidable makeshift tag team (far surpassing Haku & André’s Colossal Connection), the ultra-athletic Rockers reciprocate as high-caliber adversaries.  Also, the Neidhart-Anderson match-up is fun to watch, as far as imagining the classic tag title feud that the Hart Foundation should have had with the Brain Busters.  Despite lacking Sting’s talent, even the Warrior, in short bursts, looks good keeping up with his fellow performers.   

Inevitably, the match’s worst sequence comes at the end pitting the mighty Intercontinental Champ against a befuddled Heenan.  Even if their lame 1988 ‘weasel suit’ matches were pitched as pure comedy relief, the concept was still barely watchable.  This rehash is no different, as Jesse Ventura’s scripted assessment acknowledges that the Warrior’s gleeful bulldozing of the conniving manager is unimpressive and hardly heroic. 

Echoing Heenan’s traditional ‘heat’ with fans, the supposedly humorous finish was what the WWF thought its audience wanted.  Unfortunately, for viewers, the match’s MVP (Anderson – with plenty of welcome help from Michaels and Haku) had already exited ringside.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                      6 Stars

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RODDY’S ROWDIES (“ROWDY” RODDY PIPER, “SUPERFLY” JIMMY SNUKA, & THE BUSHWHACKERS: BUTCH MILLER & LUKE WILLIAMS) VS. THE RUDE BROOD (“RAVISHING” RICK RUDE, “MR. PERFECT” CURT HENNIG, & THE FABULOUS ROUGEAUS: JACQUES & RAYMOND ROUGEAU), WITH “THE GENIUS” LANNY POFFO & JIMMY HART {4-on-4 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1989 Survivor Series: Aired 11-23-1989)

SUMMARY:                   RUNNING TIME: 21:27 Min.

On November 23, 1989, from the Rosemont Horizon, in suburban Chicago, IL, this eight-man elimination tag match was the second-to-last of five such matches at the 3rd Annual Survivor Series

Captaining “The Rude Brood” (aka “Rude’s Brood”) is ex-WWF Intercontinental Champion “Ravishing” Rick Rude.  Oozing almost as much conceit as Rude are his partners: “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig (with associate “The Genius” Lanny Poffo), and, with their manager Jimmy Hart, The Fabulous Rougeaus: brothers Raymond & Jacques Rougeau.  Conspicuously absent is Rude’s own manager, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, but this matter is later explained prior to the event’s concluding bout. 

Leading his wacky “Roddy’s Rowdies” is “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.  Piper’s quartet consists of: his former mid-80s nemesis, “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka, and The Bushwhackers: Butch Miller & Luke Williams. 

The match commentators are “Gorilla” Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

Notes: Rude’s team justifies its nickname in their pre-match promo, not to mention their post-match gloating.  In contrast, the Piper team’s own pre-match promo (with “Mean” Gene Okerlund) is hilariously lowbrow.    

REVIEW:

Featuring lots of cartoonish fake biting, this showdown effectively scores comedy relief in the first half before giving way to solid wrestling down the stretch.  The Piper vs. Rude feud (as does Piper vs. Hennig) packs star power, but this match is subsequently stolen by Snuka & Hennig’s high-caliber showdown. 

Suffice to say, this sleeper bout where Piper’s roughhousing brutes counter the Rude squad’s finesse provides a welcome treat. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                              7 Stars

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THE 4×4’s (“HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN, HERCULES, “RUGGED” RONNIE GARVIN, AND BRET “HITMAN” HART) VS. THE KING’S COURT (“MACHO KING” RANDY SAVAGE, DINO BRAVO, GREG “THE HAMMER” VALENTINE, & THE CANADIAN EARTHQUAKE), WITH “SENSATIONAL QUEEN” SHERRI & JIMMY HART {4-on-4 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1989 Survivor Series: Aired 11-23-1989)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: 23:25 Min.

On November 23, 1989, from the Rosemont Horizon, in suburban Chicago, IL, this eight-man elimination tag match was the second of five such bouts at the 3rd Annual Survivor Series

On one side is “Macho King” Randy Savage, and his “King’s Court” consisting of: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Dino Bravo, and newcomer John Tenta as the “Canadian Earthquake.”  Adding nefarious star power at ringside are “Sensational Queen” Sherri and Jimmy Hart to make it practically a 6-on-4 handicap. 

Wielding actual 4×4’s for comic effect, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan leads his squad consisting of: Hercules, “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin, and The Hart Foundation’s Bret” Hitman” Hart into battle.  The match commentators are “Gorilla” Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

Note: Tenta replaced “Stalker” Barry Windham in this bout due to the latter’s departure from the WWF. 

REVIEW:

Though reminiscent of the André/Rick Rude team’s squashing of Duggan & Jake Roberts’ squad the year before, this eight-man slugfest still packs solid entertainment.  Its overall plotting makes sense watching Garvin, Hart, and Duggan face long odds against the villains’ superior numbers (and enormous size) after Hercules’ relatively fast exit. 

If anything, the electrifying sequences pitting Hart vs. Savage (seeing two future multi-time WWF World Heavyweight Champions against one another) is easily this showdown’s best asset. Lastly, the crowd-pleasing finish gives Duggan a welcome shot at some payback, even if it’s a case of too little far too late.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  6½ Stars

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THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES

SUMMARY:                RUNNING TIME: 2 Hrs., 5 Min.

Released in 1970, through United Artists (later MGM), director/producer Billy Wilder, with collaborator I.A.L. Diamond, also co-wrote the period mystery, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes

In the present-day, two London bank employees fulfill the late Dr. John H. Watson’s written instructions retrieving a locked strongbox from its vault fifty years after his death.  Amongst his treasured mementos examined are several props relevant to the film’s storyline, along with Watson’s handwritten account of a case he has long suppressed.  That is where the flashback begins.

Shifting to April 1887, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson return home to 221B Baker Street after resolving a homicide in Yorkshire. Quickly bored, a restless Holmes begrudgingly agree to accompany Watson to a ballet performance of Swan Lake.  Invited backstage, Holmes is propositioned by a Russian ballerina’s handler to become an illustrious sperm donor. Much to Watson’s shock and horror, Holmes tactfully concocts a phony excuse declining the proposed trade for an exquisite Stradivarius violin. 

Barely escaping a watery grave, an amnesiac Belgian wife, Gabrielle Valladon, is subsequently brought to their notice.  Her enigmatic plight compels Holmes and Watson to search for her missing husband.  Despite Mycroft Holmes’ insistence that his brother drop the matter, Sherlock’s determined curiosity fatefully leads him, along with Watson and effervescent Gabrielle, to Inverness, Scotland. 

As the case approaches its potentially heartbreaking end, romance, shadowy espionage, and even the Loch Ness Monster await the legendary British sleuth. 

Sherlock Holmes: Robert Stephens

Dr. John H. Watson/Narrator: Colin Blakely

Gabrielle Valladon / Ilse von Hoffmanstal: Geneviève Page

Mycroft Holmes: Christopher Lee

Mrs. Hudson: Irene Handl

Rogozhin: Clive Revill

Madame Petrova: Tamara Toumanova

Woman in Wheelchair: Catherine Lacey

Scottish Gravedigger: Stanley Holloway

Scottish Guide: James Copeland

Queen Victoria: Mollie Maureen

Von Tirpitz: Peter Madden

Cabbie: Michael Balfour

First Carter: John Garrie

Second Carter: Godfrey James

Hotel Manager: Robert Cawdron

Baggage Handler: Alex McCrindle

Scientists: John Scott Martin & Martin Carroll

Monk: Paul Hansard

Other Monks: Uncredited

Other Scientists: Uncredited

Other Gravediggers: Uncredited

Submersible Crew: Uncredited

20th Century Bank Employees: Uncredited

Emille Valladon: Uncredited

Additional Spies: Uncredited

Notes: The theatrical release is severely truncated from Wilder’s far more episodic, 200-minute initial cut.  Among the deleted segments left incomplete, and in some instances, completely lost, are: a present-day prologue, with Colin Blakely playing Watson’s descendant; the Yorkshire case (which is instead mentioned); the entire “Curious Case of the Upside Down Room,” where a bizarre homicide involves furniture literally up on the ceiling; the entire “Adventure of the Dumbfounded Detective,” which is a flashback spelling out Holmes’ sexuality (or perhaps lack thereof); a comedic cruise ship interlude entitled “The Dreadful Business of the Naked Honeymooners;” and two alternate epilogues – one of which references Jack the Ripper.  Predictably, the studio insisted upon a streamlined running time to maximize movie screenings per day. 

In 2016, the 30-foot Loch Ness Monster model lost underwater nearly a half-century before during on-location filming was finally located.  

REVIEW:

Utilizing Panavision cinematography, Billy Wilder devises a gorgeous-looking Sherlock Holmes adventure that echoes the Hollywood epics of the 1930’s through the early 1960’s.  More so, this production’s sets were evidently built either to or even beyond actual scale – think of it as the set designer fabricating an entire house when only a room would have been sufficient. 

Such elaboration also meant necessary decorations and props being more extensive than most other period films.  Taking closer looks at the construction overkill for 221B Baker Street and Mycroft’s swanky Diogenes Club will bear this observation out.  Between these enormous sets and authentic location shooting in Scotland, Wilder consequently produced the most expansive Sherlock Holmes project up to that time.

As much as Wilder’s 200-minute version would be fascinating viewing (in practicality, a TV mini-series would have made more sense), his two-hour incarnation doesn’t overstay its welcome.  Wilder’s storyline briskly blends mystery, light-hearted suspense, semi-risqué humor, historical spy games, the Loch Ness Monster, and timeless poignancy into a cinematic adult cocktail.  The best asset of which fulfilling Wilder’s vivid aspirations can be found in his casting.    

Despite the impossible task of surpassing Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce, the chemistry emanating between Robert Stephens and Colin Blakely is highly underrated – that is, given a century of competition from other productions.  Stephens (primarily a stage performer) is an inspired choice for a semi-effeminate Holmes.  Even more impressive is a hilarious Blakely (especially at the ballet) making a convincing case that he is the next-best blustery Watson after Nigel Bruce. 

Completing this trio is a wonderful contribution from French actress Geneviève Page, who projects a surprisingly complex successor to Irene Adler.  Adding welcome support are Irene Handl as the long-suffering ‘Mrs. Hudson,’ and Clive Revill’s amusing rendition of the ballerina’s handler, ‘Rogozhin.’ 

Yet, hiding in plain sight amongst a roster of non-descript British character actors is a near-unrecognizable Christopher Lee.  Unmistakably, he is spot-on in a pivotal turn as the condescending ‘Mycroft Holmes.’  Given he himself has portrayed Holmes multiple times, Lee lends further credibility to Wilder’s unique depiction of Conan Doyle’s mythology. 

‘Originality’ is perhaps the operative description of Wilder’s take on Sherlock Holmes.  Rejecting Hollywood’s decades of either loosely adapting Conan Doyle’s stories with mixed results or blandly conjuring up new Holmes escapades, Wilder strives for a classy middle ground celebrating fiction’s greatest detective.  Admirably, such creative effort is worth it as far as faithfully presenting Conan Doyle’s ensemble within a fresh big-screen mystery worthy of vintage Hollywood. 

The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, in that sense, is not meant as either gothic mystery or a period spoof of Conan Doyle.  Ultimately, Private Life is a Sherlock Holmes caper that even non-fans can appreciate as first-class entertainment.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        8½ Stars

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QUICK CHANGE

SUMMARY:                    RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr., 29 Min.

In the summer of 1990, Warner Bros. released this R-rated comedy co-directed by screenwriter Howard Franklin and its star/co-producer Bill Murray.  Adapting Jay Cronley’s same-named novel, disgruntled city employee Grimm (Murray) – outlandishly dressed as a clown packing dynamite and a gun, along with his two best friends: girlfriend Phyllis (Davis) and dim-witted Loomis (Quaid), cleverly rob a mid-Manhattan bank in broad daylight.  Deliberately, their heist becomes a high-profile media event. 

Having disguised themselves among the released hostages, the trio soon find no matter how much they despise New York City, escaping town is still near-impossible.  Whether it is in their own disabled getaway car, a taxi with a driver (Shalhoub) who doesn’t comprehend English, or even the city bus that only drives near the airport, numerous mishaps await them. 

Prolonging their mad dash to the airport means the world-weary police chief (Robards), whom they outwitted at the bank, is slowly catching up to them.  For this elderly cop, nabbing this snarky trio means a welcome victory near the end of his career.  Then again, the infuriated local mob may have its own say in the matter.

Grimm: Bill Murray (his character’s first name isn’t revealed)

Phyllis Potter: Geena Davis

Loomis: Randy Quaid

NYPD Police Chief Walt Rotzinger: Jason Robards

NYPD Lt. Dennis Jameson: Richard Joseph Paul

Cabbie: Tony Shalhoub

Skelton: Victor Argo

Johnny: Stanley Tucci

Mario Manetti: Gary Howard Klar

Mr. and Mrs. Edison: Phil Hartman & Kathryn Grody

Motorist/Mugger: Jamey Sheridan

Bank Guard: Bob Elliott

Grocery Cashier: Steve Park

Flower Lady: Teodorina Bello

Guitar-Carrying Bus Passenger: Stuart Rodin

Bus Driver: Phillip Bosco

Russ Crane / Vince Lombino: Kurtwood Smith

Mrs. Crane / Mrs. Lombino: Susannah Bianchi

Notes: Quick Change is Murray’s sole directorial effort. It was also his second box office flop in a decade: the other being 1984’s The Razor’s Edge.

REVIEW:

Powered by this cast’s likability, Quick Change surpasses its flimsy plot – the expedited running time isn’t a coincidence.  While this ultra-cynical comedy’s primary quartet (Murray, Davis, Quaid, and Robards) carry Quick Change, it is familiar character actors in small roles who best shine.  Specifically, stealing scenes are Tony Shalhoub, Stanley Tucci, Bob Elliott, and, long before playing Red Forman on That 70’s Show, Kurtwood Smith makes crankiness resemble an art form.

As with 1989’s underachieving Disorganized Crime, the premise suffers from this foreseeable problem: why should viewers cheer these exasperated bandits, especially when innocent bystanders/victims are the ones left humiliated? One can surely relate to everyday annoyances in a big city – especially commuters, but glamorizing bank robbery, even in a wacky, non-violent Hollywood style, doesn’t really justify the means.  The sole reason this film’s sardonic humor works is how well the cast sells screenwriter/co-director Howard Franklin’s sharply-written gags. 

Aside from a series of well-played jabs at New Yorkers, this foul-mouthed heist picture won’t leave a lasting impression.  At its best, Quick Change is an amusing trifle.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       6 Stars

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WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE, SAM HOUSTON, BLUE BLAZER (OWEN HART), & “JUMPING” JIM BRUNZELL VS. THE HONKY TONKY MAN, “OUTLAW” RON BASS, “DANGEROUS” DANNY DAVIS, GREG “THE HAMMER” VALENTINE, & “BAD NEWS” BROWN, WITH JIMMY HART {5-on-5 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1988 Survivor Series: Aired 11-24-1988)

SUMMARY:                RUNNING TIME: 17:50 Min.

From the Richfield Coliseum, in Richfield Ohio, on November 24, 1988, this five-on-five elimination tag match was the lead-off for the WWF/WWE’s 2nd Annual Survivor Series

On one side are the co-captains: WWF Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, along with young second-generation talents, Owen Hart (as the masked Blue Blazer) and Sam Houston.  Joining their squad is the ex-Killer Bee, “Jumping” Jim Brunzell, who replaced Don “The Rock” Muraco upon his departure from the company the previous month. 

Their conniving opposition consists of The Honky Tonk Man (whom the Warrior had recently dethroned as I-C Champion at SummerSlam ’88) co-captaining with “Outlaw” Ron Bass.  Correlating Bass and Honky Tonk’s storylines is that Bass had supposedly injured Beefcake to deprive him of his coveted SummerSlam I-C title shot at Honky. 

Joining this nefarious duo are Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, “Dangerous” Danny Davis (in one of his last matches before he resumed refereeing), and the ever-volatile “Bad News” Brown.  At ringside is the megaphone-wielding Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart, on behalf of Honky, Davis, and Valentine. 

Providing match commentary are “Gorilla” Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

Notes: As far as déjà vu, Bass, Davis, & Honky Tonk had previously tagged together at the first Survivor Series (in the Richfield Coliseum, no less) against “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s squad of Intercontinental Title challengers.  Beefcake and Honky Tonk, coincidentally, opposed one another three consecutive years at the Survivor Series (1987-89). 

REVIEW:

Considering all four matches at the first Survivor Series delivered dynamite entertainment, this middling 1988 opener falls far short of continuing such expectations.  Starting with Davis, maybe there was a lingering injury or another backstage motive to warrant his weak and super-fast exit.  Either way, it becomes an omen for Honky Tonk’s lethargic team.  Watching Valentine and Bass later flop in rapid succession like human dominoes provides an exclamation point on going through the motions.

As fun as it might have been to watch him to bulldoze Honky’s crew, Muraco’s absence likely protected his in-ring reputation.  If Brunzell was inserted into this match’s script as is, it is disappointing to see the former Killer Bee dumped like an expendable jobber.  One might surmise that it was also delayed payment for the Bees’ impressive Survivor Series showing the year before. 

Still, Houston, and to a lesser degree, the flashy Owen Hart, get a valuable opportunity playing off wily villains Valentine, Honky Tonk, and Bass before the predictable happens.  As for Beefcake’s contributions, he and Honky cancel each other out with nothing fans haven’t seen before. 

The most intriguing scenario: seeing Brown menace the Intercontinental Champ or even Beefcake fails to materialize.  Scripting Brown to shockingly prevail (much like he did at WrestleMania IV) would have been smart storytelling for one big reason.  It would then have made sense why he is later shown belligerently demanding a title shot at World Champion Randy Savage.  Instead, by resorting to the same cliché twice (if one also counts 1989), Brown’s dubious walkouts at Survivor Series waste his sinister main event potential. 

Lastly, grouping the Warrior with other rising young talents, like Hart and Houston, sounds good in theory.  The problem is that, unsurprisingly, both cruiserweights demonstrate why they are more skilled in-ring performers than the Warrior.  The Intercontinental Champ’s cartoonish presence single-handedly dispatching the final baddies with such ease reveals how little thought the WWF gave to this match’s potential repercussions. In other words, any suspense impacting the Intercontinental Title scene heading into 1989 is squandered. 

Proving worse than the squash-fest pitting Jake Roberts/Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s squad vs. André the Giant/Rick Rude’s team, this 1988 opener wastes good mid-card talent.  It is a shame that fans are stuck with such a forgettable slugfest.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  3½ Stars

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THE WARRIORS (WWF WORLD CHAMPION THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION “THE TEXAS TORNADO” KERRY VON ERICH, & THE LEGION OF DOOM {aka THE ROAD WARRIORS}: HAWK & ANIMAL) VS. THE PERFECT TEAM (“MR. PERFECT” CURT HENNIG & DEMOLTION: AX, SMASH, & CRUSH), WITH BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN & MR. FUJI) {4-on-4 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1990 Survivor Series: Aired 11-22-1990)

SUMMARY:             RUNNING TIME: 14:20 Min.

On November 22, 1990, from the Hartford Civic Center, on the WWF/WWE’s home turf of Hartford, CT, this eight-man elimination tag match opened the 4th Annual Survivor Series.  Unlike any Survivor Series before or since, the added stipulation of the show’s five elimination tag matches is that the winners would then face off in a ‘Final Survivors’ main event.

On one side, WWF World Champion The Ultimate Warrior has recruited his real-life friend, WWF Intercontinental Champion Kerry “The Texas Tornado” Von Erich, and the Road Warriors (aka Hawk and Animal – The Legion of Doom).  Their opposition would be ex-Intercontinental Champion “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig and Demolition: Ax, Smash, and Brian “Crush” Adams. 

Potentially adding some extra spark at ringside are Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Mr. Fuji as the nefarious managers.  The match commentators are “Gorilla” Monsoon and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

Notes: In lieu of World Title defenses, at the time, the Warrior had been regularly teaming up with The Legion of Doom in six-man bouts bullzdozing Demolition at house shows. Though not yet acknowledged by syndicated WWF TV programs, Hennig had already dethroned Von Erich to regain the I-C Championship.

REVIEW:

First, one ought to consider this big ‘dream’ what-if:  Had this bout occurred in 1988 or 1989, fans would have enjoyed The Road Warriors (still in their NWA prime), a very watchable Von Erich – whether it be his World Class Championship Wrestling promotion or even the middling AWA, and a rising Warrior, who never improved his in-ring performance much.  The villains facing them could have been Hennig peaking as the WWF’s best performer, perhaps either “Ravishing” Rick Rude” or “Macho King” Randy Savage – both in their WWF primes, and preferably The Powers of Pain (Barbarian and the Warlord) in place of the overrated Demolition (Ax & Smash). It’s the kind of main event firepower to justify Hulk Hogan seething in jealousy.

Reality for the Warrior’s ‘Dream Team’ would become much different over the course of a mere year. or two. Having shifted to the high-profile WWF, the Warriors and Von Erich too often opted to coast on their considerable star power, and this match would prove no different.  Disappointingly, none of them were allowed to outshine the flashy WWF World Champ, given the formulaic script setting up the show’s main event. 

The flip side is that Hennig’s team, without either Rude (who had left the WWF weeks before) or an available Savage, stood no chance.  Stuck with the sluggish Demolition (in Ax & Smash’s last WWF appearance together), plus a still-inexperienced Brian Adams, Hennig was evidently expected to deliver the goods on his own … literally. 

Case in point: while the initial minutes of this match are relatively good, the WWF opts for a cop-out forcing a solo Hennig to face both WWF singles champions.  It is no surprise that Hennig is assigned the night’s most thankless task – still, he acquits himself well enough.  The problem is the ultra-predictable winner fans are then stuck with. 

Notes: The Warrior team’s inane pre-match promo relies solely on badly-scripted (or maybe ad-libbed) threats and clichés.  Garishly resembling a human candy cane that night, Savage lucked out scoring an interview segment vs. participating in such a lackluster effort. With Ax departing the WWF, Smash & Crush’s dull incarnation of Demolition later ended in 1991.    

Exuding the roster’s lazy attitude that night, this 1990 Survivor Series opener is forgettable.  At best, it’s a rushed C-level performance.  The sole A-game this entire show offered would be then-WWF World Tag Team Champion Bret Hart’s mini-classic vs. Ted DiBiase (and, by extension, Virgil).  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                          3 Stars

Categories
DVD Movies & Television (Videos) Sports (TV & Videos) TV Series TV Series (Specific Episodes) WWF/WWE (Pro Wrestling)

D-GENERATION X (“THE HEARTBREAK KID” SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H) VS. THE SPIRIT SQUAD (MITCH, KENNY, NICKY, JOHNNY, & MIKEY), WITH VINCE MCMAHON {2-on-5 Elimination Tag Match} (WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event: Aired: 7-17-2006)

SUMMARY:                      RUNNING TIME: 8:52 Min.

Recorded live on July 17, 2006 at American Airlines Center, in Dallas, Texas, this 2-on-5 elimination tag match pits self-involved fan favorite D-Generation X (“The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels & Triple H) against the entire Spirit Squad: Mitch, Kenny, Nicky, Johnny, & Mikey.  At the time, two members of this quintet shared the WWE World Tag Team Championship in rotation. 

This bout’s added stipulation is that each defeated participant will subsequently be locked inside a steel storage cage at ringside. Captaining the obnoxious Spirit Squad is “Mr.” Vince McMahon, who swaggers to ringside to personally supervise D-Generation X’s humiliation.  Providing match commentary are Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

REVIEW:

The entertainment quotient delivers with two charismatic ex-WWE World Champions steamrolling five cartoonish male cheerleaders and inevitably “Mr.” McMahon, one-by-one.  Case in point: a ringside air horn gag is hilarious, including Ross & Lawler’s input.

Taken as such, this match exudes superficial fun.  Yet, as insightful fans are aware, there is a dubious flip side.  Exerting possibly the most backstage clout in WWE history, Michaels and Triple H ensured that their ultra-smarmy antics would accompany a fast-paced rout.  In other words, the match’s one-sided choreography comes off as an ode to their own egos. 

Keeping such ‘reality’ in mind, this elimination caper is a crowd-pleasing comedy interlude.  Placating his company’s fanbase, it is even more telling how the WWE’s owner will degrade himself for ratings.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                   5 Stars

Categories
CD's Music & Radio Shows Soundtracks (CD's) STAR TREK-Related

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE A TO Z OF FANTASY TV THEMES {Cover Album} (by Various Artists)

SUMMARY:              RUNNING TIME: 1 Hr., 37 Min.

Released by Silva Screen, in 1999-2000, this two-disc cover album consists of thirty tracks (primarily instrumentals) as homage to U.S. and British sci-fi/fantasy television programs dating back to the 1960’s.  Among the various artists are The Daniel Caine Orchestra and The City of Prague Orchestra.  The thirty tracks are:

Disc 1:

  1. Battlestar Galactica (Main Theme/Medley)   5:11     Composers: Stu Phillips & Glen A. Larson
  2. The Addams Family                                 2:22     Composer: Victor Mizzy
  3. Airwolf (1984)                                        3:02     Composer: Sylvester Levay
  4. The Avengers (Pre-Credits & Theme)        3:17     Composer: Laurie Johnson
  5. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century                2:26     Composer: Stu Phillips
  6. Doctor Who                                          2:22     Composer: Ron Grainer
  7. Fireball X-L5: Fireball                          2:24     Composer: Barry Gray
  8. Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (Suite)   4:46     Composer: Joseph LoDuca
  9. Knight Rider (1982)                              2:40     Composer: Stu Phillips
  10. Land of the Giants (Suite)                      5:23     Composer: John Williams
  11. Lost in Space (Series 1 & 3 Themes)       3:17     Composer: John Williams
  12. The Munsters                                       2:32     Composer: Jack Marshall
  13. The Outer Limits                                 3:31     Composer: Dominic Frontiere
  14. The Prisoner (Main Titles)                    3:24     Composer: Ron Grainer
  15. Quantum Leap                                   3:04     Composer: Mike Post

Disc 2:

  1. Red Dwarf (Interlude/Main Theme)                 4:57       Composers: Howard Goodall & Ian Hu
  2. SeaQuest DSV (Main Theme/Concert Version) 3:21       Composer: John Debney
  3. Space 1999 (1st Series Theme)                          3:10       Composer: Barry Gray
  4. Space: Above and Beyond                                4:02       Composer: Shirley Walker
  5. Star Trek: The Original Series (Main Theme)  2:23       Composer: Alexander Courage
  6. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Concert Version)  3:57       Composer: Dennis McCarthy
  7. Star Trek Voyager (Main Theme)            1:59       Composer: Jerry Goldsmith
  8. Thunderbirds (March)                            3:38       Composer: Barry Gray
  9. The Time Tunnel                             2:19       Composer: John Williams
  10. The Twilight Zone (Themes)  2:48 Composers: Bernard Hermann & Marius Constant
  11. Twin Peaks                                      2:46       Composer: Angelo Badalamenti
  12. V: The Series (1984)                          2:42       Composer: Dennis McCarthy
  13. Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (Seaview) 2:03       Composer: Paul Sawtell
  14. Xena: Warrior Princess (Overture)        4:23       Composer: Joseph LoDuca
  15. The X-Files                                      3:27       Composer: Mark Snow

Note: Evidently, an alternate version of this album exists, with an expanded total of forty-four tracks.  

REVIEW:

In terms of both audio and production quality, virtually all the tracks sound close to the originals.  Considering how many of these  tunes are near-impossible to find, Battlestar Galactica: The A to Z of Fantasy TV Themes presents the best practical option for nostalgia fans.      

PACKAGING:

While the CD case effectively protects both discs, the artist credits are relatively skimpy.  Silva Screen acknowledges original composer/artists, but crediting cover performers or even a source album apparently was not a priority.  In some instances, it is entirely possible that Silva Screen licensed the original artist/composer’s version.  Still, consumers may not catch not how many of the thirty tracks were performed by very competent stand-ins – credited or not.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       8 Stars

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