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WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE, SAM HOUSTON, BLUE BLAZER (OWEN HART), & “JUMPING” JIM BRUNZELL VS. THE HONKY TONKY MAN, “OUTLAW” RON BASS, “DANGEROUS” DANNY DAVIS, GREG “THE HAMMER” VALENTINE, & “BAD NEWS” BROWN, WITH JIMMY HART {5-on-5 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1988 Survivor Series: Aired 11-24-1988)

SUMMARY:                RUNNING TIME: 17:50 Min.

From the Richfield Coliseum, in Richfield Ohio, on November 24, 1988, this five-on-five elimination tag match was the lead-off for the WWF/WWE’s 2nd Annual Survivor Series

On one side are the co-captains: WWF Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, along with young second-generation talents, Owen Hart (as the masked Blue Blazer) and Sam Houston.  Joining their squad is the ex-Killer Bee, “Jumping” Jim Brunzell, who replaced Don “The Rock” Muraco upon his departure from the company the previous month. 

Their conniving opposition consists of The Honky Tonk Man (whom the Warrior had recently dethroned as I-C Champion at SummerSlam ’88) co-captaining with “Outlaw” Ron Bass.  Correlating Bass and Honky Tonk’s storylines is that Bass had supposedly injured Beefcake to deprive him of his coveted SummerSlam I-C title shot at Honky. 

Joining this nefarious duo are Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, “Dangerous” Danny Davis (in one of his last matches before he resumed refereeing), and the ever-volatile “Bad News” Brown.  At ringside is the megaphone-wielding Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart, on behalf of Honky, Davis, and Valentine. 

Providing match commentary are “Gorilla” Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

Notes: As far as déjà vu, Bass, Davis, & Honky Tonk had previously tagged together at the first Survivor Series (in the Richfield Coliseum, no less) against “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s squad of Intercontinental Title challengers.  Beefcake and Honky Tonk, coincidentally, opposed one another three consecutive years at the Survivor Series (1987-89). 

REVIEW:

Considering all four matches at the first Survivor Series delivered dynamite entertainment, this middling 1988 opener falls far short of continuing such expectations.  Starting with Davis, maybe there was a lingering injury or another backstage motive to warrant his weak and super-fast exit.  Either way, it becomes an omen for Honky Tonk’s lethargic team.  Watching Valentine and Bass later flop in rapid succession like human dominoes provides an exclamation point on going through the motions.

As fun as it might have been to watch him to bulldoze Honky’s crew, Muraco’s absence likely protected his in-ring reputation.  If Brunzell was inserted into this match’s script as is, it is disappointing to see the former Killer Bee dumped like an expendable jobber.  One might surmise that it was also delayed payment for the Bees’ impressive Survivor Series showing the year before. 

Still, Houston, and to a lesser degree, the flashy Owen Hart, get a valuable opportunity playing off wily villains Valentine, Honky Tonk, and Bass before the predictable happens.  As for Beefcake’s contributions, he and Honky cancel each other out with nothing fans haven’t seen before. 

The most intriguing scenario: seeing Brown menace the Intercontinental Champ or even Beefcake fails to materialize.  Scripting Brown to shockingly prevail (much like he did at WrestleMania IV) would have been smart storytelling for one big reason.  It would then have made sense why he is later shown belligerently demanding a title shot at World Champion Randy Savage.  Instead, by resorting to the same cliché twice (if one also counts 1989), Brown’s dubious walkouts at Survivor Series waste his sinister main event potential. 

Lastly, grouping the Warrior with other rising young talents, like Hart and Houston, sounds good in theory.  The problem is that, unsurprisingly, both cruiserweights demonstrate why they are more skilled in-ring performers than the Warrior.  The Intercontinental Champ’s cartoonish presence single-handedly dispatching the final baddies with such ease reveals how little thought the WWF gave to this match’s potential repercussions. In other words, any suspense impacting the Intercontinental Title scene heading into 1989 is squandered. 

Proving worse than the squash-fest pitting Jake Roberts/Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s squad vs. André the Giant/Rick Rude’s team, this 1988 opener wastes good mid-card talent.  It is a shame that fans are stuck with such a forgettable slugfest.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  3½ Stars

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THE WARRIORS (WWF WORLD CHAMPION THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION “THE TEXAS TORNADO” KERRY VON ERICH, & THE LEGION OF DOOM {aka THE ROAD WARRIORS}: HAWK & ANIMAL) VS. THE PERFECT TEAM (“MR. PERFECT” CURT HENNIG & DEMOLTION: AX, SMASH, & CRUSH), WITH BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN & MR. FUJI) {4-on-4 Elimination Tag Match} (WWF 1990 Survivor Series: Aired 11-22-1990)

SUMMARY:             RUNNING TIME: 14:20 Min.

On November 22, 1990, from the Hartford Civic Center, on the WWF/WWE’s home turf of Hartford, CT, this eight-man elimination tag match opened the 4th Annual Survivor Series.  Unlike any Survivor Series before or since, the added stipulation of the show’s five elimination tag matches is that the winners would then face off in a ‘Final Survivors’ main event.

On one side, WWF World Champion The Ultimate Warrior has recruited his real-life friend, WWF Intercontinental Champion Kerry “The Texas Tornado” Von Erich, and the Road Warriors (aka Hawk and Animal – The Legion of Doom).  Their opposition would be ex-Intercontinental Champion “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig and Demolition: Ax, Smash, and Brian “Crush” Adams. 

Potentially adding some extra spark at ringside are Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Mr. Fuji as the nefarious managers.  The match commentators are “Gorilla” Monsoon and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

Notes: In lieu of World Title defenses, at the time, the Warrior had been regularly teaming up with The Legion of Doom in six-man bouts bullzdozing Demolition at house shows. Though not yet acknowledged by syndicated WWF TV programs, Hennig had already dethroned Von Erich to regain the I-C Championship.

REVIEW:

First, one ought to consider this big ‘dream’ what-if:  Had this bout occurred in 1988 or 1989, fans would have enjoyed The Road Warriors (still in their NWA prime), a very watchable Von Erich – whether it be his World Class Championship Wrestling promotion or even the middling AWA, and a rising Warrior, who never improved his in-ring performance much.  The villains facing them could have been Hennig peaking as the WWF’s best performer, perhaps either “Ravishing” Rick Rude” or “Macho King” Randy Savage – both in their WWF primes, and preferably The Powers of Pain (Barbarian and the Warlord) in place of the overrated Demolition (Ax & Smash). It’s the kind of main event firepower to justify Hulk Hogan seething in jealousy.

Reality for the Warrior’s ‘Dream Team’ would become much different over the course of a mere year. or two. Having shifted to the high-profile WWF, the Warriors and Von Erich too often opted to coast on their considerable star power, and this match would prove no different.  Disappointingly, none of them were allowed to outshine the flashy WWF World Champ, given the formulaic script setting up the show’s main event. 

The flip side is that Hennig’s team, without either Rude (who had left the WWF weeks before) or an available Savage, stood no chance.  Stuck with the sluggish Demolition (in Ax & Smash’s last WWF appearance together), plus a still-inexperienced Brian Adams, Hennig was evidently expected to deliver the goods on his own … literally. 

Case in point: while the initial minutes of this match are relatively good, the WWF opts for a cop-out forcing a solo Hennig to face both WWF singles champions.  It is no surprise that Hennig is assigned the night’s most thankless task – still, he acquits himself well enough.  The problem is the ultra-predictable winner fans are then stuck with. 

Notes: The Warrior team’s inane pre-match promo relies solely on badly-scripted (or maybe ad-libbed) threats and clichés.  Garishly resembling a human candy cane that night, Savage lucked out scoring an interview segment vs. participating in such a lackluster effort. With Ax departing the WWF, Smash & Crush’s dull incarnation of Demolition later ended in 1991.    

Exuding the roster’s lazy attitude that night, this 1990 Survivor Series opener is forgettable.  At best, it’s a rushed C-level performance.  The sole A-game this entire show offered would be then-WWF World Tag Team Champion Bret Hart’s mini-classic vs. Ted DiBiase (and, by extension, Virgil).  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                          3 Stars

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D-GENERATION X (“THE HEARTBREAK KID” SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H) VS. THE SPIRIT SQUAD (MITCH, KENNY, NICKY, JOHNNY, & MIKEY), WITH VINCE MCMAHON {2-on-5 Elimination Tag Match} (WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event: Aired: 7-17-2006)

SUMMARY:                      RUNNING TIME: 8:52 Min.

Recorded live on July 17, 2006 at American Airlines Center, in Dallas, Texas, this 2-on-5 elimination tag match pits self-involved fan favorite D-Generation X (“The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels & Triple H) against the entire Spirit Squad: Mitch, Kenny, Nicky, Johnny, & Mikey.  At the time, two members of this quintet shared the WWE World Tag Team Championship in rotation. 

This bout’s added stipulation is that each defeated participant will subsequently be locked inside a steel storage cage at ringside. Captaining the obnoxious Spirit Squad is “Mr.” Vince McMahon, who swaggers to ringside to personally supervise D-Generation X’s humiliation.  Providing match commentary are Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

REVIEW:

The entertainment quotient delivers with two charismatic ex-WWE World Champions steamrolling five cartoonish male cheerleaders and inevitably “Mr.” McMahon, one-by-one.  Case in point: a ringside air horn gag is hilarious, including Ross & Lawler’s input.

Taken as such, this match exudes superficial fun.  Yet, as insightful fans are aware, there is a dubious flip side.  Exerting possibly the most backstage clout in WWE history, Michaels and Triple H ensured that their ultra-smarmy antics would accompany a fast-paced rout.  In other words, the match’s one-sided choreography comes off as an ode to their own egos. 

Keeping such ‘reality’ in mind, this elimination caper is a crowd-pleasing comedy interlude.  Placating his company’s fanbase, it is even more telling how the WWE’s owner will degrade himself for ratings.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                   5 Stars

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MY TWO DADS: THE GOD OF LOVE (Season 2: Episode 9)

SUMMARY:                  RUNNING TIME: 22:00 Min.

Premiering on NBC-TV on March 15, 1989, this episode of “My Two Dads” was scripted by Chuck Lorre and directed by Andrew D. Weyman.  Returning home after a movie, Michael (Reiser) and Nicole (Keanan) bemusedly find Joey (Evigan) and a female friend (Keifer) naked in bed.  Joey’s legendary womanizing now has Nicole’s impressionable teen pals idolizing him. 

Worse yet, Nicole embraces being suddenly ultra-popular, seemingly for that same reason. As the situation becomes increasingly untenable, Michael must convince a skeptical Joey to publicly humiliate himself to right their family’s status quo.  Ultimately, it’s about pitching the right role models to Nicole and, by extension, her closest friends. 

Michael Taylor: Paul Reiser

Joey Harris: Greg Evigan

Nicole Bradford: Staci Keanan

Judge Margaret W. Wilbur: Florence Stanley

Ed Klawicki: Dick Butkus

Shelby Haskell: Amy Hathaway

Cory Kupkus: Giovanni “Vonni” Ribisi

Zach Nichols: Chad Allen

Max: Blake Soper

Nina: Altizah Wiener

Lacey: Holly Sampson

Jenny Slater: Elizabeth Keifer

Melinda Weller: Leslie Neale

Klawicki’s Other Customers: Uncredited

REVIEW:

TV screenwriter Chuck Lorre’s effort at teasing sex education for teens in “The God of Love” is cringe-worthy.  His script’s PG-rated sexist antics objectifying women as mere pick-up targets falls short of good intentions. More specifically, the story’s resolution is far too ridiculous to be of any practical help to a real parent.

Instead of a firm father-daughter sit-down discussion, sitcom logic evidently dictates that ‘Michael’ and especially ‘Joey’ take their time playing up off-screen promiscuity for middling laughs before finally getting around to some responsible parenting. Hence, two-thirds of “The God of Love” risks being almost unwatchable.  

This episode’s last few scenes, despite the ongoing silliness, are relatively good, including how guest star Leslie Neale angrily rebuffs Evigan’s smarmy “Joey,” much to the ‘shock’ of the teen characters.  Otherwise, even the cast’s usual charm doesn’t carry the insipid “God of Love” far.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       3½ Stars

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MY TWO DADS: PILOT (Season 1: Episode 1)

SUMMARY:                   RUNNING TIME: 24:00 Min.

Premiering on NBC-TV on September 20, 1987, the pilot episode for “My Two Dads” was scripted by series producer-creator Michael Jacobs and directed by John Tracy.  Thirteen years after a Key West getaway from college and their friendship broken up over their rivalry for beautiful Marcy Bradford, high-strung, yuppie financial advisor Michael Taylor (Reiser) and free-spirited artist Joey Harris (Evigan) are reunited in Judge Margaret Wilbur’s (Stanley) office. 

At stake is the late Marcy Bradford’s last wishes, which bequeaths custody of her twelve-year-old daughter, Nicole (Keanan) to Nicole’s biologically indeterminate father(s).  Hence, Michael and Joey, as much as they dislike one another, now find themselves as co-parents of a pre-teen Nicole.

Initially living with free-spirited Joey, a grieving Nicole realizes she needs both her fathers in her suddenly upside-down life.  Despite her own doubts, a compassionate Judge Wilbur is willing to take a chance on it.

Michael Taylor: Paul Reiser

Joey Harris: Greg Evigan

Nicole Bradford: Staci Keanan

Judge Margaret W. Wilbur: Florence Stanley

Kathryn: Amanda Horan Kennedy (aka Barbara Horan)

Pizza Boy: Max Perlich

Notes: Prior to Greg Evigan’s theme song, “You Can Count on Me,” for the TV series, the pilot utilized a generic instrumental theme.  Series regular Florence Stanley is credited as a guest star.   

REVIEW:

Among the ultra-contrived TV sitcom premises of the mid-to-late 80’s, “My Two Dads” likely ranks near the top of that dubious list.  Aside from the ‘biologically indeterminate’ nonsense that a paternity test could easily resolve, how well does this pilot episode hold up thirty-six years later?  One ought to consider the answer a matter of degrees – not to mention, the show pitches more risqué humor than one might expect for a supposedly kid-friendly program.

Landing a few acerbic innuendos, sitcom veteran Florence Stanley steals her scenes as a no-nonsense family court judge.  Also brightening the episode is newcomer Staci Keanan, who makes the best of the eye-rolling storyline, as written.  Guest star Amanda Horan Kennedy’s charm helps carry the opening sequence, making it a shame that her character (as Michael’s an  attorney) never appeared again. 

Note: Emma Samms subsequently played Nicole’s late mother in a ‘dream’ episode.  In retrospect, Horan Kennedy would have been an ideal casting choice as ‘Marcy.’  Her coincidental resemblance to Keanan is frankly closer than Reiser, Evigan, or Samms – making the storyline’s who’s-the-father? concept a much easier sell to viewers.

The flip side, ironically, would be the efforts from co-leads Paul Reiser and Greg Evigan.  Evidently too eager to land his heavily-scripted retorts (a pause or two would have been helpful), Reiser should have dialed back his performance a notch.  Still, at least his tightly-wound yuppie comes off more believable than Evigan’s urban artist.  Beyond the ultra-implausible loft apartment ‘Joey’ somehow magically affords, it’s not Evigan’s fault that his impulsive character is such a grating and thinly-written cliché.  While Evigan enjoys good chemistry with Reiser and Keanan, his one-dimensional ‘Joey’ is this pilot’s biggest misstep.

All things considered, the first “My Two Dads” episode actually isn’t half-bad.  Suffice to say, the 80’s had some far more nauseating dreck posing as sitcoms – Small Wonder, anyone? 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                         5 Stars

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“GORGEOUS” JIMMY GARVIN, WITH PRECIOUS VS. BRAD ARMSTRONG (NWA World Championship Wrestling: Aired 2-7-1987)

SUMMARY:          APPROX. RUNNING TIME:10:44 Min.

The match was taped at a house show, in either January or early February of 1987, from Washington, D.C.’s Armory.  The bout subsequently aired on February 7, 1987, for WTBS’ World Championship Wrestling TV series.  Garvin’s valet (and real-life spouse), Precious, is at ringside. 

The match’s commentators are Tony Schiavone and promoter David Crockett.   

REVIEW:

As a peripheral NWA main event attraction, Jimmy Garvin’s charismatic talents and flashy appearance convey that he and his blond valet, Precious, were the promotion’s answer to the WWF’s legendary “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth.  Predating Savage & Elizabeth’s mass popularity by a few years, the Garvin/Precious duo’s presence in the mid-to-late ‘80s NWA often made for some good viewing.  Case in point: Garvin’s brand of obnoxious heel tactics proves well-suited against the underrated Brad Armstrong. 

Despite such reliable in-ring work as a second-generation pro, Armstrong never got his own high-profile gimmick/angle to shine.  Though he would later be reduced into some under-the-radar masked roles, at least Armstrong was never publicly humiliated like Terry Taylor’s Red Rooster.  Armstrong, as seen in this bout, reminds viewers why he was among the NWA’s best technical performers by readily keeping up with Garvin’s star power.

Case in point: Armstrong’s match-ending hard fall to the arena’s parquet floor signifies his toughness by getting up fast.  This routine encounter isn’t likely to inspire multiple viewings, but it is all means watchable.       

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                    5½ Stars

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NWA U.S. TAG TEAM CHAMPION BARRY WINDHAM VS. ARN ANDERSON (NWA World Championship Wrestling: Aired 2-7-1987)

SUMMARY:         APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 12:13 Min.

Taped in either January or early February of 1987, this house show match from Philadelphia’s Civic Center was aired on February 7, 1987, for WTBS’ World Championship Wrestling TV series.  Appearing without his Four Horseman cronies, Arn Anderson (then half of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew with Ole Anderson) faces off against rival Barry Windham.  At the time, Windham shared half of the NWA’s U.S. Tag Team Championship with Ronnie Garvin. 

Providing the match’s commentary are Tony Schiavone and promoter David Crockett.

REVIEW:

Making it look easy, even an average Windham vs. Anderson match-up surpasses many of their contemporaries on their best days.  While this TV showdown might not inspire multiple viewings, the sweaty workmanship that Windham and Anderson put forth in this rugged bout is still commendable.  More so, one gets a welcome clean finish in this nostalgic NWA treat.          

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                    7 Stars

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NWA WORLD TV CHAMPION TULLY BLANCHARD, WITH JAMES J. DILLON VS. “THE AMERICAN DREAM” DUSTY RHODES (NWA World Championship Wrestling: Aired 2-7-1987)

SUMMARY:         APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 9:34 Min.

Taped in either January or early February of 1987, this title rematch from the Los Angeles Forum subsequently aired on February 7, 1987, for WTBS’ World Championship Wrestling TV series.  In a battle of perennial rivals, an extra stipulation is a supposed $10,000.00 cash prize offered by James J. Dillon of The Four Horsemen.  Also making appearances are Barry Windham and The Horsemen’s Arn Anderson.  

Providing the match’s commentary are Tony Schiavone and promoter David Crockett.

REVIEW:

Given it is a standard TV-caliber match, Rhodes and Blanchard at least supply some worthwhile viewing.  One amusing sequence stands out: Rhodes and Dillon first yank a ‘semi-conscious’ Blanchard in a tug-of-war; and then Rhodes ‘double-teams’ the World TV Champion and Dillon with a flurry of his patented “Bionic Elbows.”  Otherwise, one can expect the usual shenanigans (i.e., Anderson & Blanchard draw blood on Rhodes), plus an invariably cheap finish. 

Considering the players involved, this NWA World TV title defense serves a nostalgic treat for mid-80’s NWA fans.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        5½ Stars

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NWA WORLD CHAMPION “NATURE BOY” RIC FLAIR VS. NWA U.S. CHAMPION “THE RUSSIAN NIGHTMARE” NIKITA KOLOFF {No Disqualification Match} (NWA World Championship Wrestling: Aired 2-7-1987)

SUMMARY:          APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 32:33 Min.

Taped in either January or early February 1987, this no-disqualification title rematch from Starrcade ’86 pitting the NWA’s two top singles champions against one another takes place at the Coliseum in Charlotte, NC.  The bout subsequently aired on February 7, 1987, for WTBS’ World Championship Wrestling TV series. 

Late in the game, backing Flair is his nefarious Four Horsemen crony, Tully Blanchard.  Koloff’s ‘Superpowers’ tag team partner, “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, also makes an appearance to even the odds.   

REVIEW:

It is easy to recall Sting and Lex Luger as the greatest power wrestlers challenging Ric Flair’s NWA World Championship reign in the Late ‘80s.  Yet, Nikita Koloff, in his prime, was no slouch, either. 

Considering Koloff’s remarkable in-ring chemistry with Flair, one wonders why “The Russian Nightmare” did not serve a brief run as the NWA’s World Champion.  His powerhouse gimmick, suffice to say, was ideal for the old school NWA mindset that preferred wrestlers over live-action cartoons. 

Despite a predictably inconclusive finish, Koloff demonstrates that he could readily keep up with Flair’s renowned stamina for more than a half-hour.  Make no mistake: Flair and Koloff’s athletic choreography ages far better than sitting through one of Hulk Hogan’s sluggish WWF World Title defenses against Nikolai Volkoff.  Wrestling nostalgia buffs, if anything, should consider revisiting the mid-80’s Koloff-Flair feud as some of the best low-key NWA World Title clashes of that era. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       7 Stars

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WCW LAST-MAN-STANDING, OVER-THE- TOP MILLIONAIRES’ CLUB VS. THE NEW BLOOD BATTLE ROYAL (WCW Thunder: Aired 5-3-2000)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: Approx. 26:12 Min.

At the Mid-South Coliseum in Memphis, TN, this street fight battle royal served as the main event for WTBS’ WCW Thunder TV episode on May 3, 2000.  Reminiscent of the NWA’s anything-goes Bunkhouse Stampedes of the late ‘80’s, participants wear ‘street clothes’ and the New Blood faction brings blunt weapons of choice.  Baited by “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, the New Blood’s Eric Bischoff agrees that the last-standing participant scores a WCW World Heavyweight Championship title shot at the Great American Bash Pay-Per-View the following month. 

The vastly outnumbered Millionaires’ Club is led by Flair.  Joining him are “Diamond” Dallas Page; Sting; Hulk Hogan; “The Total Package” Lex Luger; Curt Hennig; Horace Hogan; “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan; Chris Kanyon; Hugh Morrus; and KroniK (Brian Adams & Bryan Clark).

With 20-25 guys, Bischoff and Vince Russo’s New Blood army consists of: Jeff Jarrett; Billy Kidman; Harlem Heat’s quartet (including Booker T, Stevie Ray, & Tony Norris – the WWE’s ex-“Ahmed Johnson”); Tank Abbott; Mike Awesome; Van Hammer; Ernest “The Cat” Miller; Chris Candido; Shawn Stasiak; Marcus Bagwell; Vampiro; Scott Steiner; Konnan; Johnny the Bull; Disco Inferno; The Wall; Bam Bam Bigelow; The Harris Brothers; and Norman Smiley. 

Additional guest stars includes: Bret “Hitman” Hart; Madusa; Mona; Asya; Tammy Lynn Sytch; and, in his final WCW appearance, “Macho Man” Randy Savage (who had abruptly exited WCW soon after Road Wild ’99).  Ominously mentioned as ‘locked away’ by Russo, Miss Elizabeth does not appear.   

The match’s commentary team consists of Tony Schiavone, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, & “Iron” Mike Tenay.

Notes: As a parental advisory, this free-for-all includes man vs. woman violence.  RE: stars not included: for The Millionaires’ Club, among them are Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious, Rick Steiner, & Barry Windham; for the New Blood, one could mention, for instance, Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, and Sean O’Haire. Goldberg’s absence, at the time, was due to an extended injury leave.

REVIEW:

Let’s review the backstory first.  By mid-2000 (WCW’s last full year of operation), World Championship Wrestling was in freefall, both creatively and financially.  Out of desperation, a hapless WCW rehired ex-boss Eric Bischoff and one of his failed successors, Vince Russo, to co-manage the promotion; this uneasy partnership, suffice to say, lasted a few months.   

Their short-lived ‘big idea’ was to vacate all championships and forcibly reboot the company in a variation of its profitable 1996-99 WCW vs. New World Order (NWO) mega-feud.  Including several of its biggest-name NWO alumni, the company’s aging main eventers (aka ‘The Millionaires’ Club’) were pitched as lumbering yet sympathetic babyfaces. 

The snarky villains would be WCW’s suppressed young talent, with veterans Jeff Jarrett and Shane Douglas cast as its in-ring leadership.  Predictably, Russo and Bischoff doubled as the New Blood’s gloating on-screen masterminds.

As with Bischoff’s NWO, such a concept had been lifted from Japan, so there was a successful precedent.  Further, pitting two wrestling generations’ legitimate resentment/animosity against one other seemingly made good sense on paper, at least from WCW’s perspective.    

Here’s the rub: Ted Turner’s WCW too often didn’t grasp long-term planning, let alone foresee fallout from ultra-stupid booking (i.e., 1990’s Capitol Combat: The Return of Robocop).  Once Bischoff and Hulk Hogan transformed WCW into their hugely expensive playground, such bone-headed decision-making gradually shifted to the rule vs. being forgiven as misguided exceptions. 

Case in point: subsequently ceding creative authority to an ultra-selfish Hogan and Kevin Nash, among others, a series of ludicrous programming blunders became the obvious culprit for WCW’s eroding fanbase. Still, if all went well, this overbooked Bunkhouse Stampede featuring nearly the entire roster would then justify how Russo & Bischoff programmed WCW’s upcoming summer Pay-Per-Views.    

Spelling out WCW’s dumpster fire mentality, unfortunately, this grungy, all-star gang warfare is best skipped.  Veterans, such as Page, Jarrett, and even a fifty-year-old Flair (in a dress shirt and slacks, no less), muster decent fight choreography for TV.  It isn’t nearly enough to overcome Russo & Bischoff’s blatant disrespect for pro wrestling fans’ intelligence.  Whatever their motives were, this smug duo appears on-screen practically gleeful peddling trash to disinterested WCW audiences.      

For instance, despite the varying camera angles, it is impossible to tell which unaffiliated ‘mercenary’ is on which side – invariably, some even switch sides. More so, the match’s chaotic nature doesn’t show when or how several participants (especially late-comers) enter and/or leave the ring. Perhaps these confusing match elements were meant as bits of shades-of-gray realism, but they certainly fall short of watchability.

One element, however, is inevitable: WCW’s tone-deaf squandering of mega-star talent on its payroll, especially as outside inference.  For instance: off WCW television since Fall 1999, a jacked-up, 47-year-old Savage’s unexpected return initially pays off.  Yet, Savage’s half-hearted series of running double-ax handles on the opposition implies how far his renowned mobility had diminished.  Teasing that the “Macho Man” had resumed active duty, his one-shot presence leads to nothing – aside from a brief reunion of the Mega-Powers.

Another unnecessary eyesore is Bret Hart’s own brief contribution.  To epitomize his disappointing WCW tenure, Hart’s chair-swinging actions, let alone his murky allegiance, make no sense to the supposed plot.  Lastly, the company’s worst sleaze is the New Blood’s gang-style violence perpetrated against female wrestlers (and vice-versa).   Faked or not, such visuals come off as an utterly putrid display packaged as so-called “entertainment.”

If anything, this ugly battle royal is a master class in wasting the still-considerable talent pool that WCW had under contract – both its past-their-prime legends and the supposedly rising New Blood horde. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  1½ Stars

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