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HART TO HART: NIGHT HORRORS (Season 1: Episode 14 or Episode 16)

SUMMARY:          RUNNING TIME: Approx. 49:15 Min.

First airing on January 22, 1980, on ABC-TV, Ray Austin directed this early Hart to Hart episode, which was written by Bill La Mond & Jo La Mond. Attending an awkward dinner party on a dark, stormy night, millionaire & amateur sleuth Jonathan Hart (Wagner) reluctantly declines wife Jennifer’s (Powers) prodding that they politely escape while they can. 

Not only is their friends Amanda & Fred’s (Harris & Snyder) secluded mansion haunted, the evening’s quirky fun is a treasure hunt for the late prior owner’s priceless cache stashed somewhere in the house.  Others recruited for this dimly-lit parlor game are: a boozy realtor (Small); a smarmy horror novelist (Shenar); an enigmatic reverend (Martin); the household’s creepy butler (Stuthman); and a frosty psychologist (van Pallandt) prone to psychic disturbances. 

Once their host makes a ghoulish entrance, everyone is split into random pairs to search the house – evidently, with the winner to take all.  As Jennifer & Jonathan find out, double-crosses aside, it appears that somebody is willing to kill to acquire the lost Greeley fortune. 

With their cars and telephones disabled, everyone has no choice but to wait inside the mansion and resume the search.  Not only are the elusive Greely gems at stake, so now are the Harts’ lives.  

Jonathan Hart & Jennifer Hart: Robert Wagner & Stefanie Powers

Max: Lionel Stander

Amanda & Fred: Cynthia Harris & Arlen Dean Snyder

Reverend Tyson: Barney Martin

Michael Shillingford: Paul Shenar

Gladys Leary: Mews Small

Simon: Fred Stuthman

Dr. Lorna Phelps: Nina van Pallandt

Freeway: Charlie Gray

REVIEW:

It’s false optimism if one expects more from this murder-mystery hokum than Wagner and Powers trading Halloween quips and marital double-entendres.  Otherwise, the eye-rolling plot resembles Hart to Hart’s bungled attempt at playing CLUE

Sabotaged by a glut of haunted house teases from a Hollywood cliché festival, the cast’s presence offers this misfire’s sole asset.  Still, the actors fall short of overcoming the guest characters’ absence of depth, let alone selling a series of plot curveballs that lead nowhere.  The blame falls on the La Monds’ mediocre script imitating far better haunted house whodunnits, which director Ray Austin doesn’t improve upon.  All he can do is convey an appropriately spooky ambiance, which mostly goes to waste.

This episode’s first two-thirds is tolerable as an average TV mystery for that era.  Regrettably, the worst unforced error comes in its last fifteen minutes, which resorts to some midnight grave-robbing. There’s no plausibility justifying sending the Harts and the other treasure seekers out to raid the Greeley family cemetery … conveniently located in the estate’s backyard. 

Even impulsive greed, as a homicidal motive, doesn’t disguise the last few twists in the cemetery from being flat-out ludicrous.  Ultimately, “Night Horrors” is one dubious Hart to Hart caper where even die-hard fans might resent far more cheese being served than substance.

P.S. As a spoiler, the script’s ineptitude even botches an easy gag prior to the epilogue.  Viewers will get to glimpse the aforementioned Greeley gems, which are obviously nothing more than glittery trinkets from the studio’s prop department.  The mystery’s end, however, is left ambiguous, with most of the treasure hunters inexplicably losing interest after taking a gaze inside the jewelry box. 

The La Monds and/or Austin inexplicably fail to conjure up some satisfying wink to explain why these gems were a joke all along (as irony given an earlier plot hiccup).  For instance, do the characters scornfully recognize these ‘precious’ Greeley gems as an assortment of unremarkable costume jewelry after risking their lives for it? Or is there some other reason why no one seems to want this treasure in the end?  

Such a surprise wouldn’t have salvaged this TV dud, but one decent chuckle still might have sufficed for viewers.  And the less said about the epilogue’s weak finish afterwards playing ‘vampires’ with Max the better.  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                           4 Stars

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NWA CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS IV: SEASON’S BEATINGS (Aired: 12-7-1988)

SUMMARY:       RUNNING TIME: Approx. 1 Hour, 52 Min.

During the 1988 holiday season in the rough-and-tumble NWA (National Wrestling Alliance), it’s not about merely getting lumps of coal in your stocking – it’s just about getting lumps.  From Chattanooga, TN at the UTC (University of Tennessee-Chattanooga) Arena, TBS aired the NWA’s Clash of the Champions IV: Season’s Beatings live on December 7, 1988. 

The event’s ringside commentators are Jim Ross & Bob Caudle.  After each match, Tony Schiavone and his guest, “The Total Package” Lex Luger, also briefly contribute supplemental commentary.  Magnum T.A., meanwhile, conducts some of the interviews.  Teenage actor Jason Hervey (of ABC-TV’s “The Wonder Years”) is present at ringside – he is referenced as the opening match’s ring announcer.  This Clash is a prelude for that’s month’s NWA Pay-Per-View, Starrcade ’88: True Gritt.

Notes: It is repeatedly announced that these matches are alotted a half-hour time limit. With this show, the NWA also experimented with glimpses of an above-the ring camera angle. Let’s just say it doesn’t bolster the show’s viewing quality.

Match 1: “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert & Ron Simmons vs. The Fantastics (Tommy Rogers & Bobby Fulton) – U.S. Tag Team Championship Tournament Final (27:04).  Approaching the time limit, both fan favorite duos contribute an excellent effort.  Gilbert is valiant selling his injured arm during the bout’s latter half.  Suffice to say, whoever chose this tournament final to lead off the show made a smart call.  Rating: 7½ Stars.  

  • Ross interviews NWA World Television Champion Mike Rotunda and Kevin Sullivan.  The ultra-snide villains ridicule Rotunda’s Starrcade ’88 challenger (and their ex-Varsity Club stablemate), Rick Steiner.

Match 2: The Varsity Club’s “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (with Kevin Sullivan) vs. The Italian Stallion (15:17).  Instead of a predictable squash, The Italian Stallion somehow stays competitive against the now-heel Williams.  While the finish is exactly what viewers expect, the bout is watchable TV filler.  Rating: 6 Stars.

  • With Luger looking on, Schiavone interviews Jason Hervey.
  • Magnum T.A. interviews The Junkyard Dog (JYD).  JYD has been recruited as Nikita Koloff’s replacement for a tag match with Ivan Koloff against Paul Jones’ Russian Assassins at Starrcade ’88
  • There’s a second replay of The Road Warriors’ recent bloody attack on Dusty Rhodes from an episode of World Championship Wrestling.  The first replay was included in the pre-title segment.

Note: Nikita Koloff had recently departed the NWA on a personal sabbatical and would not return until early 1991.  

Match 3: Ivan Koloff (with the stipulation of having one arm tied behind his back) vs. Paul Jones (8:21).  Given these players, their bout is as near-unwatchable as it sounds.  It’s no shocker that the masked Russian Assassins and JYD intervene to hype their upcoming tag bout.  Rating 3½ Stars.

  • Ross briefly interviews Sting, who is in at ringside in support of Rhodes (his tag partner at Starrcade ’88).   
  • Per Rhodes’ late arrival (planned or not), Magnum T.A. interviews “The Dog-Faced Gremlin” Rick Steiner, who is in full goofy mode.   

Match 4: “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes (with Sting) vs. NWA World Tag Team Champion Road Warrior Animal (with Paul Ellering & Road Warrior Hawk (2:54).  With the winner gaining control of the NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship, an eye-patched Rhodes seeks vengeance upon his ex-partners: The Road Warriors.  In only a few minutes, it is the show’s most sadistic content and does little to justify its airtime.  Rating: 3 Stars. 

Notes: The NWA subsequently retired its World Six-Man Tag Team Championship in February1989.  This bout (aside from Starrcade ’88) was evidently Rhodes’ last NWA TV match before jumping to the WWF in early 1990.

Match 5: The Midnight Express -“Beautiful” Bobby Eaton & “Sweet” Stan Lane (with Jim Cornette) vs. NWA World Champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair & NWA U.S. Champion Barry Windham (with J.J. Dillon) (17:41).  While the winners’ chicanery isn’t a surprise, the pre-match hype is justifiable.  Specifically, this bout is tag team dynamite.  With the Express mostly dominating the Two Horsemen, a reeling Flair & Windham play up this scenario for all it’s worth. 

Considering Cornette’s now-popular Express three months before became the sole NWA team to simultaneously hold the U.S. and World Tag Team Championships, their star power now appears equitable to the remaining Horsemen.  Including Cornette and Dillon’s wily contributions, this tag team showdown absolutely merits re-discovery.  Rating: 8½ Stars. 

Note: Having jumped to the WWF, then-NWA World Tag Team Champions Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson (the other half of The Four Horsemen) dropped the titles to fellow heels The Midnight Express on 9/10/88.  In a bloody rout, Eaton & Lane subsequently lost the championship to the rampaging Road Warriors on 10/29/88.  

  • Schiavone interviews an irate Cornette.
  • Ross & Caudle review some of the Clash’s highlights.
  • Schiavone & Luger review the main event’s finish before closing out the show.  Luger deems himself ready to claim Flair’s NWA World Heavyweight Championship at Starrcade ’88.

REVIEW:

Predictably, the NWA’s video quality isn’t as slickly-produced as the rival WWF, but the overall content is still more than sufficient.  Ross and Caudle are an excellent ringside tandem that easily surpasses Schiavone & Luger’s bland screen time – which is mere filler by comparison. 

With two outstanding bouts book-ending the show, the other three matches are skippable.  That said, the rare Midnight Express vs. Flair & Windham bout is a welcome blast of Late ‘80s NWA nostalgia.  If one should have extra time, the Simmons/Gilbert vs. The Fantastics title bout delivers a minor gem.  Everything else in between often requires a fast-forward button.   

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                6½ Stars

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NWA WORLD CHAMPION “NATURE BOY” RIC FLAIR VS. “THE MAN WITH THE HANDS OF STONE” RONNIE GARVIN {Steel Cage Match} (NWA World Wide Wrestling: Taped 9-25-1987)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: 42:19 Min.

Later airing on NWA World Wide Wrestling, this NWA World Championship steel cage match occurred on September 25, 1987, at Detroit’s Joe Louis Arena.  At the time, “Nature Boy” Ric Flair was feuding with both Ronnie Garvin and his on-screen ‘brother,’ “Gorgeous” Jimmy Gavin (who is Ronnie’s real-life step-son). 

Without his Four Horsemen cronies (including manager J.J. Dillon), Flair is on his own defending his World Heavyweight Title against the so-called “The Man With The Hands of Stone.”  Apart from a classic top rope finish (including a rare high-flying move from Garvin), this slugfest is dominated by Garvin’s pounding ground game.  Flair appears in vintage mid-80’s form, even as he slowly wilts under Garvin’s barrage.  

The post-match reaction includes NWA promoters Jim & David Crockett; Dusty Rhodes; Nikita Koloff; Sting; Barry Windham; Michael “P.S.” Hayes; The Rock ‘N’ Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson); Shane Douglas; and The Lightning Express (Brad Armstrong & Tim Horner).  Approximately five minutes replaying the bout’s climax and finish are included.  As seen on screen, David Crockett provides the solo ringside commentary.

Note: Including commercial breakaways, the match (as shown in progress) is approximately thirty-two minutes.  The subsequent ten minutes is the post-match celebration/recap.

REVIEW:

Keeping in mind that, at the time, Garvin was 42 and Flair himself was 38, their veteran in-ring conditioning is astounding.  Specifically, neither one resorts to rest holds or cheap stalling to catch a breath amidst grueling ‘combat.’  Even more so, Garvin’s gritty, no-nonsense style might seem boring after 10-15 minutes; that is not the case here.  This gutsy display is likely one of the best, if not the best, of Garvin’s career. 

Between a bloodied yet resilient Flair and a relentless Garvin, fans absolutely get their money’s worth.  The shame is that this no-nonsense showdown was soon overshadowed (and basically forgotten) upon the obligatory Starrcade ’87 title rematch (in a cage, of course) … where the predictable happens.  Still, to Flair’s credit, he illuminates Garvin’s star power in this bout’s closing seconds. 

Suffice to say, it’s an immortal coronation of a reliable yet perennial mid-carder finally getting his due. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       8½ Stars

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ICW WORLD CHAMPION “MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE VS. “ONE MAN GANG” RONNIE GARVIN {Steel Cage Match} (International Championship Wrestling: Filmed Possibly 1982 or 1983)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: 26:17 Min.

It is unknown exactly when ICW World Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage faced “One Man Gang” Ronnie Garvin in this early-80’s steel cage slugfest.  A best guess would either 1982 or 1983.  The same enigma applies to the arena, but this title defense likely occurred in proximity to ICW’s base in Lexington, KY. 

Somewhat foreshadowing their future WWF co-existence, Savage is the flamboyantly popular champion while Garvin (in villainous mode) conveys an icy thug.  The footage begins with quick summary profiles of these two combatants, in terms of their comparable sizes.  Of note, Garvin’s flat brown hair makes him near-unrecognizable (he resembles Dino Bravo at the time), as opposed to his spiky peroxide blonde look later that decade.  Savage’s glitzy ring appearance, meanwhile, is accompanied by the Fame movie theme.  Notably, neither wrestler is accompanied by any manager/valet or entourage.    

With this title bout captured on film (like 1970’s pro boxing), Savage’s unseen brother, Lanny Poffo, supplies voiceover commentary.  For instance, Poffo identifies George Weingeroff as the referee.  As to the post-match shenanigans, Pez Whatley, “Speed” Manson, and even Poffo himself make appearances. 

Note: Considering their father, Angelo Poffo, owned International Championship Wrestling (ICW), it’s no surprise that Randy Savage & Lanny Poffo were his promotion’s undisputed stars.

REVIEW:

Given this match is at least forty years old, its footage is well-produced and appears in surprisingly pristine condition.  Another terrific asset is Poffo’s low-key, articulate narration, which is reminiscent of an impartial TV news anchor.

Garvin’s brutally effective ground game limits Savage’s patented aerial tactics to one missed flying elbow drop.  Forced to play mostly defense, a bloodied “Macho Man” is unexpectedly dominated by Garvin.  Sporadic local cheers invariably favoring the champion help convey that Savage is the underdog against this formidable rival.  Ultimately, the winning maneuver: a makeshift piledriver off the second turnbuckle (presumably, a planned spot) is well-played.   

As opposed to their eventual WWF tenure – where their family connection isn’t acknowledged, Poffo’s commentary briefly (if not reluctantly) mentions at the end that he and Savage are brothers.  It is a nice set-up explaining his intervention to end a 2-on-1 beatdown against a defenseless “Macho Man.”  From a supposedly low-rent regional promotion, this no-nonsense title showdown is impressive work.    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                         7½ Stars

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NWA WORLD CHAMPION RICKY “THE DRAGON” STEAMBOAT VS. RON SIMMONS (NWA World Championship Wrestling: Aired 4-15-1989)

SUMMARY:                       RUNNING TIME: 8:15 Min.

Aired April 15, 1989, on TBS, this episode of the NWA’s World Championship Wrestling was presumably filmed at its Atlanta, GA studio.  Months before officially turning heel as half of the masked Doom tag team (with Butch Reed), Ron Simmons challenges NWA World Champion Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat.  It isn’t spelled out whether or not this face vs. face bout is a non-title match, but it mostly likely is. 

The ringside commentators are Jim Ross and The Fabulous Freebirds’ Michael “P.S.” Hayes.

REVIEW:

Even if this rare Steamboat vs. Simmons encounter isn’t a classic, seeing “The Dragon” battle a future WCW World Champion still offers some first-class pro wrestling.  In just over eight minutes, they deliver a satisfying performance by the NWA’s TV main event standards for that era. 

For nostalgia purposes, this entertaining relic reminds fans of an era where NWA bouts typically preferred in-ring substance over the rival WWF’s cartoony style.  Nicely played!       

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                          6½ Stars

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HARLEY QUINN SERIES – POISON IVY (aka IVY): SEEDLING (Episode 201)

SUMMARY:                     RUNNING TIME: 9:37 Min.

Through his production company, Imagination Upgraded!, Brandon Champ Robinson co-wrote the script (with Samantha Briggs) and directed this live-action fan film/webisode.  It was evidently released in 2020.  Inspired by DC Comics’ Poison Ivy, this fan film depicts Ivy/’Ms. P’ (Biosah) as an enigmatic African American woman who possesses telepathic powers with all plants.  The city where she lives isn’t identified. 

At her suburban home, Ivy’s use of a cannabis-like smoking device is interrupted by two teens, Chris & TK (Brown & Curtis), who playfully pose as burglars.  She senses their presence through her home’s array of plants.  After a round of shooting foam bullets back and forth with the kids, she agrees to help TK with a project.  Ivy then returns to her private relaxation.

Leaving Ivy’s home, the teens are approached by a neighborhood drug dealer, Vic (Walker).  While much preferring Ivy’s mysterious substance, Vic prods a reluctant TK into pushing a new designer drug.   Vic claims these pills have five times the potency of Ivy’s personal concoction. 

At home with TK, Chris naively stumbles upon Vic’s pills in TK’s backpack.  Leading into a cliffhanger, plants in proximity to Chris send a dire alert to Ivy – that her friend is imminent danger just as the naive teenager is about to sample one of Vic’s illicit pills.       

Pamela/Poison Ivy aka ‘Ms. P:’ Justina Biosah

TK: Charles Curtis

Chris: Kaitlyn Brown

Vic: Nathan Walker.

Notes: George Ross Bridgman and Jon Finfera’s names appear in the cast’s opening credits, but their roles aren’t identified.  There’s two possibilities: either A. they are the voice actors for Ivy’s telepathic plants, or B. perhaps their footage was edited out of the finalized episode. 

For clarification, DC Comics isn’t acknowledged in the credits. Also, despite the series title, there isn’t a Harley Quinn referenced in this film. One may infer that “Ivy: Seedling (Episode 201)” is meant to be a ‘spin-off’ of a Harley Quinn fan film.

REVIEW:

Despite the drug-related plot, this low-budget film’s visual vibe demonstrates some welcome potential. Case in point: combined with nature sounds, the opening credits sequence’s cinematography is stylish.  As to the acting, Justina Biosah makes Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy an intriguing heroine, in what little is seen of her sultry character.  By comparison, her castmates’ performances come off as somewhat amateurish, but this TV-caliber mini-film is nonetheless watchable. 

Fans of DC’s Poison Ivy might want to check this neat little production out, at least for curiosity’s sake. If Brandon Champ Robinson devised this project as a work sample for DC Entertainment to contemplate hiring him, then he makes a reasonably convincing case. The same applies to Biosah for potential TV/film roles in the DC Universe.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                     6 Stars

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WWF SUMMERSLAM FEVER 1990 (WWF Prime Time Wrestling: Aired 8-19-1990)

SUMMARY:         RUNNING TIME: Approx. 1 Hour, 34 Min.

Taped at Memorial Auditorium in Utica, NY, on August 15, 1990, this episode of WWF Prime Time Wrestling is entitled SummerSlam Fever.  The USA Network subsequently aired this special on August 19, 1990.  Vince McMahon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan host this arena show hyping SummerSlam 1990 set for August 27, 1990, on Pay-Per-View (PPV).

The contents are as follows:  

Match # 1: The Hart Foundation’s Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart vs. WWF World Tag Team Champion Smash of Demolition. Running Time: 6:08. 

Quick Review: 6/10.  Given these two players, their match is surprisingly watchable.  A nimble Neidhart looks remarkably good in what is likely the show’s second-best bout.

Notes: A flashback clip from a recent Saturday Night’s Main Event tag team title defense between Demolition and The Rockers is included.  Both the Hart Foundation and the Legion of Doom enter this fracas.  As for the Neidhart/Smash showdown, the other two-thirds of Demolition: Ax and Crush make a post-match appearance.

  • “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews the gloating Demolition trio.

Match # 2: “Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich vs. Black Bart.  Running Time: 2:40. 

Quick Review: 4/10.  Von Erich looks sharp easily dispatching an old World Class Championship Wrestling adversary.

  • Okerlund interviews Von Erich’s upcoming foe: WWF Intercontinental Champion “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig (with Bobby Heenan).

Match # 3: “Pistol” Pez Whatley vs. The Warlord (with Slick).  Running Time: 2:53. 

Quick Review: 4/10.  Despite the veteran Whatley’s best Junkyard Dog imitation, the Warlord crushes him. 

  • With a sweaty Heenan, “Ravishing” Rick Rude delivers a Rocky-style training promo hyping his steel cage title challenge of WWF World Champion The Ultimate Warrior. 
  • Okerlund interviews The Ultimate Warrior (who wears minimal facial makeup).
  • A “Brother Love Show” flashback depicts “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan befriending Nicolai Volkoff.  A second clip depicts an in-ring Boy Scouts medal ceremony awarding Volkoff, which is then followed by the group’s Pledge of Allegiance. 

Match # 4:  Boris Zhukov vs. Nikolai Volkoff.  Running Time: 2:37. 

Quick Review: 2/10.  To no one’s surprise, this mercifully brief ‘Battle of the Bolsheviks’ falls far short of watchable. 

  • Okerlund interviews “Macho King” Randy Savage and “Sensational Queen” Sherri (wearing Cats-style facial makeup).
  • Flashback clip: Dino Bravo and then Earthquake (with Jimmy Hart) ambush Tugboat mid-match.  Big Boss Man also make an appearance.
  • “Brother Love Show:” Earthquake ‘no-shows,’ so fellow guest Hulk Hogan eventually punts a taunting Jimmy Hart out of the ring.  The Hulkster’s solo promo, suffice to say, is lackluster at best.

Match # 5:  Power & Glory: Hercules & Paul Roma, with Slick vs. Mark Thomas & Mike Williams.  Running Time: 2:35. 

Quick Review: 3½/10.  Against two hapless jobbers, Power & Glory are solid. 

  • Okerlund interviews Dusty Rhodes’ valet, Sapphire, broadly hinting at an imminent SummerSlam plot twist. 

Match # 6:  Jake “The Snake” Roberts (with Damian) vs. “Iron” Mike Sharpe.  Running Time: 2:37. 

Quick Review: 5/10.  With a game Sharpe delivering some competitive blows, this one proves entertaining – no matter the squash finish. 

  • “Bad News” Brown’s promo shows him selecting ‘Harlem sewer rats’ for his upcoming showdown with Roberts.

Match # 7:  WWF Intercontinental Champion “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig (with Bobby Heenan) vs. “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin.  Running Time: 5:56. 

Quick Review: 6 ½/10.  As the sole commentator, McMahon doesn’t clarify if Garvin is actually challenging for the I-C title or not.  Even so, despite its short length, Hennig and Garvin reliably supply the night’s best effort.     

  • Okerlund interviews Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart.

Match # 8:  Mr. Fuji’s Orient Express; Pat Tanaka & Sato vs. Shane Douglas & Sonny Blaze.  Running Time: 2:08. 

Quick Review: 3/10.  Though Douglas briefly exhibits his future star power, the bout is an instantly forgettable squash.   

Match # 9:  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. Earthquake (with Jimmy Hart & Dino Bravo).  Running Time: 6:20. 

Quick Review: 4½/10.  Hulk Hogan’s ‘heroic’ save fails to salvage a lumbering brawl that predictably goes nowhere.      

  • In the locker room, Okerlund interviews Earthquake, Bravo, and Jimmy Hart. 
  • McMahon & Heenan sign off.
  • Okerlund and ‘Brother Love’ trade off on SummerSlam match predictions.

SUMMARY REVIEW:

Given it is a glorified WWF infomercial, unsurprisingly, the interview segments tend to surpass the middling in-ring content.  Yet, the whole kid-friendly package is relatively entertaining for die-hard fans.  If anything, a single viewing is more than sufficient.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  5 Stars

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AFTERMASH: SATURDAY’S HEROES (Season 2: Episode 8)

SUMMARY:                       RUNNING TIME: 23:01 Min.

During its second season, CBS-TV placed AfterMASH on an extended hiatus in December 1984.  At the time, this short-lived MASH sequel was faring poorly in the ratings against NBC’s The A-Team.  Held over until May 31, 1985, “Saturday’s Heroes” would be AfterMASH’s last aired episode in the United States.  MASH producer/writer/director Burt Metcalfe helmed “Saturday’s Heroes” off a script from staff writers Ken Levine & David Isaacs. 

Evidently set in 1954, at River Bend, Missouri, Max Klinger (Farr) is still evading jail time by hiding out in General Pershing Veterans Hospital’s (aka General General) psychiatric ward.  Due to multiple incidents of patient misconduct, hospital administrator Wally Wainwright (Goetz) abruptly suspends all of the ward’s off-site passes. Defying the prickly Wainwright, Klinger sneaks out to visit his wife, Soon-Lee (Chao), and their still-unnamed infant son. 

Excited to reunite with them for a few days, an amorous Klinger is even more anxious to further expand his family with Soon-Lee.  For the time being, Soon-Lee is residing with the Potters (Morgan & Pitoniak) as a surrogate daughter-in-law.

Leaving the Klingers at home (so both couples have some marital privacy), Col. Potter & Mildred’s vacation is then scuttled by an unwanted passenger (Kemp) and car trouble.  Elsewhere, a resentful Dr. Boyer (Ackroyd) and Wainwright unexpectedly bond while boozing together in the hospital’s recovery room/bar. 

Returning home, the Potters and Alma attend the Klinger baby’s christening by Father Mulcahy (Christopher).  The same applies to various uninvited guests, who attend the naming of Klinger and Soon-Lee’s son. 

Col. Sherman T. Potter: Harry Morgan

Sgt. Maxwell Klinger: Jamie Farr

Father Francis Mulcahy: William Christopher

Soon-Lee Klinger: Rosalind Chao

Mildred Potter: Anne Pitoniak

Wally Wainwright: Peter Michael Goetz

Alma Cox: Brandis Kemp

Dr. Mark Boyer: David Ackroyd

Dr. Lenore Dudziak: Wendy Girard

Nurse Stella: Leslie Bevis

Mrs. Poulous: Kathleen Freeman

Bartender: Wally Dalton

Hundley: Paul Wilson

Patient: John Achorn

Boempke: Armin Shimerman

Psychiatric Ward Extras: Uncredited

Hospital Security Guards: Uncredited

Hospital Extras: Uncredited

Bar Extras: Uncredited.

Notes: Chao and Shimerman later co-starred on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.  A second leftover AfterMASH episode, “Wet Feet,” evidently aired at some point in 1984-85 overseas.    

REVIEW:

Unmistakably, this episode confirms AfterMASH’s dubious reputation in television history forty years ago.  The combined talents of four reliable MASH stars (Morgan, Farr, Christopher, & Chao), along with Burt Metcalfe’s backstage expertise, sadly prove no match for the utter dreck entitled “Saturday’s Heroes.”  Glaringly absent is the savvy quality control that Alan Alda and others had infused MASH with.  As seen in this installment, some of the subject matter is in unintentionally poor taste.

Case in point: the bland sitcom treatment of the show’s psychiatric ward veterans does nothing to boost AfterMASH’s credibility. The same applies to Klinger’s desperate get-out-of-jail-free angle. Suffice to say, what was once hilarious on MASH re: Klinger’s wacky efforts to escape the Army isn’t remotely funny in this rehashed context.

For that matter, a supposedly humorous scene where names of various baseball legends are pitched (pardon the expression) for Klinger & Soon-Lee’s baby name reeks of eye-rolling mediocrity.  And simply the less said the better as to the last scene revealing where the Klingers have finally found some romantic peace and quiet. 

Given a meager script generating far too few chuckles, it is no wonder that Harry Morgan, Jamie Farr, and William Christopher phone in their performances.  Along with Chao, they are left to coast by on charm. Long before he became Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’s ‘Quark,’ Armin Shimerman’s bit part scores the episode’s one decent laugh.

For just cause, CBS-TV officially gave AfterMASH a mercy cancellation following“Saturday’s Heroes.”  In that sense, this episode’s cringe-worthy scripting conjures up only the worst kind of mid-80’s TV nostalgia.  Unlike other notorious TV losers of this era (i.e. Manimal), AfterMASH, at least, sported a potentially good premise and a solid main cast.  A third vital necessity: a rich source for mining the sitcom’s topical humor, unsurprisingly, became a far iffier prospect.    

Still, had there been an inspired backstage team (in spite of hiring several MASH alums), first-rate stories and a better sense of devising its new characters should have been attainable. AfterMASH, with such effort, might well have been a modest precursor for what Frasier accomplished after Cheers.

All wishful thinking aside, this production inexplicably squandered its decent resources in only thirty-one episodes.  Exploring post-war repercussions in the mid-1950’s is an intriguing TV series notion, but how AfterMASH does it makes no sense.  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       2½ Stars

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THE AVENGERS (JOHN STEED & CATHY GALE): MR. TEDDY BEAR (Season 2: Episode 1)

SUMMARY:   APPROX. RUNNING TIME: 52:00 Min. (Black & White)

First airing on England’s Associated British Corporation on September 29, 1962, “Mr. Teddy Bear,” continuity-wise, implies that British secret agents John Steed (Macnee) and Catherine “Cathy” Gale (Blackman) have already worked together before.  In this instance, a bizarre fatal poisoning occurs during a live television interview.  The autopsy’s subsequent forensics disclose that esteemed author and international expert Colonel Wayne-Gilley (Keeling) is evidently the latest victim of a highly-paid and techno-savvy assassin dubbed ‘Mr. Teddy Bear.’ 

Assigned by One Ten (Muir) to the case, Steed sets himself up as the killer’s next target, with Gale posing as a client paying an exorbitant fee for his ingenious assassination. Finding their adversary elusive, via hidden microphones (in a plush teddy bear, no less) and remote cameras, neither Gale nor Steed have any idea what this soft-spoken ‘Mr. Teddy Bear’ even looks like. 

An informant’s subsequent murder convinces Steed shouldn’t take their current adversary lightly, no matter the assassin’s peculiar gimmicks. Gale soon finds herself prompted to pay the balance due after Steed’s apparent homicide inside his own apartment.  With Gale seemingly held as an expendable hostage, a battle of wits ensues between ‘The Avengers’ and this unconventional assassin.

John Steed: Patrick Macnee

Catherine “Cathy” Gale: Honor Blackman

One Ten: Douglas Muir

Dr. James Howell: John Ruddock

‘Mr. Teddy Bear:’ Bernard Goldman

Henry Farrow: Michael Robbins

Dr. Gilmore: John Hershey

Technician: Michael Collins

Colonel Wayne-Gilley: Kenneth Keeling

Interviewer: Tim Brinton

Café Patron: Sarah Maxwell

Freckles the Dalmatian: Uncredited

Café Extras: Uncredited

Television Crew Members: Uncredited.    

REVIEW:

Given it’s the debut of The Avengers’ first iconic duo, this tongue-in-cheek episode is frankly unremarkable.  Aside from a quirky premise, its watchability mostly owes to Honor Blackman’s charming presence – ironically, even more so in her scenes without Patrick Macnee. 

The dubious flip side is that Macnee’s ‘Steed’ grows tiresome mighty fast with his incessant, rapid-fire blathering.  Constantly glib about his insider knowledge of the assassin’s case file, Steed’s cheery nonchalance too often stifles the plot’s efforts at suspense. Still, Macnee excels in the sequence selling Steed’s sudden ‘demise.’  

With some help from the guest cast, “Mr. Teddy Bear,” at least, enjoys its share of fun, almost spoofy noir moments. Suffice to say, The Avengers’ playfully intriguing brand of spy games, such as seeing Emma Peel’s demure predecessor in action, makes exploring other (and hopefully superior) episodes a likelihood.          

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        Stars

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TAXI: CLASS REUNION (Season 1: Episode 7)

SUMMARY:                                      RUNNING TIME: 24:41 Min.

First airing on ABC-TV on October 24, 1978, James Burrows directed this episode off Sy Rosen’s script.  Dreading the prospect of his 20-year high school reunion, a miserable Louie (DeVito) reveals to the gang his lasting humiliation from his senior prom.  Emboldened to prove himself as an actor, Bobby (Conway), with his co-workers’ encouragement, persuades Louie to go as his high-profile impersonator at the reunion.  Hopefully, that way, he can settle a few old scores for Louie’s sake. 

Insatiably curious over how Bobby’s luck is going, Louie, too, shows up.  What a cantankerous Louie really wants is a sneak peek at his would-be high school crush, Sheila (Golonka).  Meanwhile, Alex (Hirsch) flirts with a Manhattan bar waitress (Cassidy), who reluctantly joins him to check up on Louie & Bobby’s scheme.

Alex Reiger: Judd Hirsch

Louie DePalma: Danny DeVito

Elaine Nardo: Marilu Henner

Bobby Wheeler: Jeff Conaway

Tony Banta: Tony Danza

John Burns: Randall Carver

Latka Gravas: Andy Kaufman

Beverly: Joanna Cassidy

Bartender: Uncredited

Sheila Martin: Arlene Golonka

George Wilson: Angelo Gnazzo

Stanley Tarses: Pierrino Mascarino

Jeff Bennett: J. Alan Thomas (uncredited)

Bar Patron: Joyce Mandel (uncredited)

Unidentified Woman: Sandy Holt

Unidentified Student: Marshall Jay Kaplan (uncredited)

Bar Extras: Uncredited

Reunion Extras: Uncredited  

REVIEW:

Mining a terrific premise, Judd Hirsch, Danny DeVito, and Joanna Cassidy deliver satisfying support to the episode’s MVP: Jeff Conaway.  Showcasing his athletic Grease-style dance moves, Conaway delivers the plot’s necessary goods posing as a much taller (and ultra-suave) ‘Louie’ than his old classmates recall.  With plenty of good laughs, this “Class Reunion” is well-played!    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                           6½ Stars

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