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TAXI: CLASS REUNION (Season 1: Episode 7)

SUMMARY:                                      RUNNING TIME: 24:41 Min.

First airing on ABC-TV on October 24, 1978, James Burrows directed this episode off Sy Rosen’s script.  Dreading the prospect of his 20-year high school reunion, a miserable Louie (DeVito) reveals to the gang his lasting humiliation from his senior prom.  Emboldened to prove himself as an actor, Bobby (Conway), with his co-workers’ encouragement, persuades Louie to go as his high-profile impersonator at the reunion.  Hopefully, that way, he can settle a few old scores for Louie’s sake. 

Insatiably curious over how Bobby’s luck is going, Louie, too, shows up.  What a cantankerous Louie really wants is a sneak peek at his would-be high school crush, Sheila (Golonka).  Meanwhile, Alex (Hirsch) flirts with a Manhattan bar waitress (Cassidy), who reluctantly joins him to check up on Louie & Bobby’s scheme.

Alex Reiger: Judd Hirsch

Louie DePalma: Danny DeVito

Elaine Nardo: Marilu Henner

Bobby Wheeler: Jeff Conaway

Tony Banta: Tony Danza

John Burns: Randall Carver

Latka Gravas: Andy Kaufman

Beverly: Joanna Cassidy

Bartender: Uncredited

Sheila Martin: Arlene Golonka

George Wilson: Angelo Gnazzo

Stanley Tarses: Pierrino Mascarino

Jeff Bennett: J. Alan Thomas (uncredited)

Bar Patron: Joyce Mandel (uncredited)

Unidentified Woman: Sandy Holt

Unidentified Student: Marshall Jay Kaplan (uncredited)

Bar Extras: Uncredited

Reunion Extras: Uncredited  

REVIEW:

Mining a terrific premise, Judd Hirsch, Danny DeVito, and Joanna Cassidy deliver satisfying support to the episode’s MVP: Jeff Conaway.  Showcasing his athletic Grease-style dance moves, Conaway delivers the plot’s necessary goods posing as a much taller (and ultra-suave) ‘Louie’ than his old classmates recall.  With plenty of good laughs, this “Class Reunion” is well-played!    

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                           6½ Stars

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IT’S A LIVING: CRITIC’S CHOICE (Season 4: Episode 10)

SUMMARY:                RUNNING TIME: 21:24 Min.

First airing in syndication on December 6, 1986, J.D. Lobue directed this episode off Roger Garrett’s script.  Ultra-snooty restaurant critic and acclaimed international chef, Francois Roti (Braden), is personally invited from France to come review the L.A. restaurant: Above The Top.  Maître’ d’ Nancy (Mercer) is warned by a corporate executive (Lieberman) that there had better be a dazzling profile coming from Roti … or there will be wholesale turnover in staffing. 

As it turns out, the womanizing Roti is Howard the chef’s (Stahl) despised rival from cooking school several years before.  Hence, how far is a determined Nancy willing to go to impress Roti and potentially save all their jobs? 

The waitresses, meanwhile, are baffled why Ginger (Lee Ralph) would gladly accompany pianist (and perpetual sleazeball) Sonny (Kreppel) for a Palms Springs weekend road trip.   

Jan Hoffmeyer Gray: Barrie Youngfellow

Dorothy “Dot” Higgins: Gail Edwards

Amy Tompkins: Crystal Bernard

Ginger St. James: Sheryl Lee Ralph

Sonny Mann: Paul Kreppel

Howard Miller: Richard Stahl

Nancy Beebe: Marian Mercer

Francois Roti: John Braden

Mrs. Colette Roti: June Claman

Mr. Whalon: Rick Lieberman

Restaurant Extras: Uncredited  

REVIEW:

Leading off with a pair of fun Sonny sight gags, “Critic’s Choice” is a welcome sitcom treat – no matter how middling it otherwise seems.  While the ‘Howard vs. Roti’ feud gets the most chuckles, the ensemble cast all contribute watchable performances.  The scene where Richard Stahl’s generally stone-faced ‘Howard’ verbally runs down his old nemesis, is an amusing surprise.  Another script asset is giving Marian Mercer’s flirtatious ‘Nancy,’ along with Stahl, some fine character moments. 

As for the ‘Ginger/Sonny’ sub-plot, it predictably amounts to nothing.  Still, Sonny’s latest round of ineptly schmoozing the four waitresses for a meaningless weekend fling is worth a chuckle.  This re-run, overall, modestly wins on its mid-80’s charm, including even the ridiculously cheery opening credits/theme song segment.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       5 Stars

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MIKE HAMMER, PRIVATE EYE: DUMP THE CREEP (Season 2: Episode 8)

SUMMARY:                     RUNNING TIME: 43:14 Min.

Reuniting with producer Jay Bernstein, star (and co-executive producer) Stacy Keach resurrected Mike Hammer for a short-lived syndicated run of twenty-six episodes over two seasons in 1997-98.  This syndicated TV episode first aired on April 6, 1998.  Dimitri Logothetis directed the episode from a script co-written by Peter McGovern & Michael O’Connell.

Prodded by an egotistical call-in radio psychiatrist (Markoe), Hammer’s (Keach) far younger girlfriend, Nadine (Deno), reluctantly dumps him.  After Hammer angrily confronts ‘Dr. Sylvia,’ at her office, she soon winds up dead in her office’s dressing room (yes, the idea of supposed radio celebrities with private dressing rooms is amusing). 

Still, it appears that others aren’t fans of Dr. Sylvia’s abrasive relationship advice, either.  As a fugitive suspect framed for three murders, the big question mark for Hammer is: whose grudge is personal enough to repeatedly commit cold-blooded homicide? For that matter, is it possible that the hard-boiled sleuth has something in common with the culprit?  

Mike Hammer / Hammer’s Father (flashback): Stacy Keach

Velda: Shannon Whirry

Nick Farrell: Shane Conrad

Deputy Mayor Barry Lawrence: Kent Williams (appears in the title credits only)

NYPD (35th Precinct) Capt. Skip Gleason: Peter Jason

Grady: Gregg Daniel

Maya Ricci: Malgosia Tomassi (Keach’s real-life spouse)

Dr. Sylvia: Merrill Markoe

Frank: Gary Hudson

Ethan: Joe Crummy

Hailie: Elizabeth Baldwin

Sam Moeller: Michael Kagan

Dr. Simmons: Dr. Joyce Brothers

Nadine: Mary Deno

‘The Face’: Rebekah Chaney

Sylvia’s Radio Producer: Uncredited

Gangster (flashback): Uncredited

Mike Hammer – 9 years old (flashback): Shannon Keach (Keach & Tomassi’s son)

Herb Liebmann: Ritchie Montgomery

Herb’s Construction Workers: Uncredited

Reece (talent agent): Greg Grunberg

Duane (security guard): Ross Strauss

Keach’s Stunt Double: Uncredited

Ethan’s Stunt Double: Uncredited

Radio Station Engineers: Uncredited

Police Station (35th Precinct) Extras: Uncredited

Journalists/Photographers: Uncredited

Reece’s Audition Extras: Uncredited

Memorial Service Extras: Uncredited

Uniformed Cops: Uncredited

Policewoman (35th Precinct): Uncredited

Carmine Miranda: Uncredited

Dr. Sylvia’s on-air clients (female voices only): Uncredited

Dr. Wanda (voice only): Uncredited

Radio Ad (male voice only): Uncredited

Lou’s Bar Extras: Uncredited

Swimsuit Model: Caroline Ambrose

Warehouse Creep # 1: Uncredited

Warehouse Creep # 2: Uncredited.

Notes:  Curiously, this syndicated version of Mike Hammer isn’t a sequel to the 1984-87 CBS-TV series.  Case in point: besides Williams’ character by a slightly different name, the role of ‘Velda’ has been re-imagined and recast with a younger actress.  More so, unlike Keach’s prior version, the mysterious ‘Face’ forever eluding Hammer is never resolved. 

REVIEW:

Even without a network TV budget, 56-year-old Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer is still watchable – to a degree.  Now far more an undemanding guilty pleasure, what this low-rent revival series sorely misses is the original show’s sense of updated noir.   With plausibility mostly out the window, the dubious trade-off on a limited budget is a ridiculous over-emphasis on scantily-clad women and too much cheesy humor – the trashy “Dump the Creep” is a prime example.  

Given this episode’s surplus of amateurish acting, such sleazy elements are pushed to an even more blatant degree than Keach’s original Hammer series.  Case in point: “Dump the Creep” squanders a solid contemporary premise and even a few good scenes, as the show’s pedestrian execution is too readily evident. The supposed need for Hammer to briefly bump into a not-so-bright swimsuit model at a radio station, no less, speaks for itself. The same applies to Hammer’s twenty-something girlfriend decked out in sexy lingerie for her two scenes (while supposedly waiting for hours on end before the gumshoe finally shows up). 

Aside from quirky casting of Dr. Joyce Brothers in a minor role, the plot’s sense of imagination doesn’t extend much beyond a well-played pre-credits sequence. For the logic police investigating plot holes, here’s a glaring one: exactly how would the culprit know about (let alone know where to find) Hammer’s own personal shrink is left to the imagination – that is, beyond a brief flashback of the second homicide Hammer is framed for? One can assume that Hammer was being unknowingly shadowed, but the script doesn’t clarify this point.

Another nonsensical moment (frankly, it’s more disturbing without giving away a spoiler) is how the epilogue has Hammer’s voice-over express sympathy for the culprit, as far as needing some heavy-duty therapy. Considering how one of this episode’s brutal homicides (as mentioned above) is a totally innocent bystander, such sentiment makes no sense. It’s worsened by the inference that Hammer has evidently shrugged off a personal confidant’s murder that was solely meant to incriminate him.

Before the culprit’s ‘big reveal’ becomes a giveaway in the last ten minutes (including a ludicrous stunt sequence), this tawdry murder-mystery rates maybe a 3 or 4 on anybody’s 0-10 whodunnit scale.  “Dump the Creep,” as a whole, has some entertaining moments, but it’s also a readily forgettable excuse for late-night viewing.     

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                         3 Stars

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MIKE HAMMER, PRIVATE EYE: A CANDIDATE FOR MURDER (Season 2: Episode 7)

SUMMARY:              RUNNING TIME: 43:15 Min.

Reuniting with producer Jay Bernstein, star (and co-executive producer) Stacy Keach resurrected Mike Hammer for a short-lived syndicated run of twenty-six episodes over two seasons in 1997-98.  This TV episode first aired on March 1, 1998. Jonathan Winfrey directed the episode from screenwriter Chris Baena’s script. On this occasion, Keach’s former co-star, Kent Williams, returns in a thinly-disguised retread of his 1984-87 role as Hammer’s prickly nemesis, ‘Assistant District Attorney Lawrence D. Barrington.’

With his campaign for District Attorney in its final days, hard-nosed Deputy Mayor Barry Lawrence’s (Williams) extra-marital affair with a scheming young model (Chun) has been brutally silenced.  Having been burnt up {off-screen} in her apartment’s own oven, the police dismiss Tracy Potter’s death as merely a bizarre suicide.  Perusing the crime scene, Hammer quickly realizes that it’s definitely murder.  To console Potter’s grieving parents (Kam & Kelly-Young), Hammer seeks to uncover how far Lawrence, is willing to go to protect/advance his career. 

After resisting arrest, Hammer’s stint in the 35th Precinct’s jail means his protégés, Nick & Velda (Conrad & Whirry), conduct much of the case’s footwork.  A masked thug means to violently scare them (and later Hammer) off the scent by any means necessary.  Among the simmering possibilities is a blackmailing tabloid journalist and an illicit money laundering scheme linking Lawrence’s campaign coffers to a Hudson River environmental group.  Yet, who really has the most sordid reason for killing the victim? 

Velda, meanwhile, persuades a reluctant Grady (Daniel) to put up Lou’s Bar as collateral towards Hammer’s $25,000.00 bail for assault and battery to help snare the seemingly elusive killer.       

Note: There is a glaring discrepancy between the murder (briefly seen before the opening credits) and a climatic flashback supposedly replaying the monents before that same sequence.  Suffice to say, look for the black leather gloves or, later, the absence thereof.  Hence, the most vital forensic clue makes no sense, if the pre-credits scene is accurate.

Mike Hammer: Stacy Keach

Velda: Shannon Whirry

Nick Farrell: Shane Conrad

Deputy Mayor Barry Lawrence: Kent Williams

NYPD (35th Precinct) Capt. Skip Gleason: Peter Jason

Grady: Gregg Daniel

Maya Ricci: Malgosia Tomassi (Keach’s real-life spouse)

Lucille Banks: Karen Moncrieff

Claire Lawrence: Kimberly Warren

Jonathan Lawrence: Dean Scofield

Tracy Potter: Alexandra Bokyun Chun (aka Bok Yun Chon)

Mrs. Potter: Cynthia Kam

Mr. Potter: Leonard Kelly-Young

Carl Prichard: Unidentified

Chloe: Suzanne Krull

Underwood (cop): Uncredited

Uniformed Cops: Uncredited

Lawrence’s Chauffeur: Gregory McKinney

Inmate # 1: Jeff Thomas

Other Jail Inmates: Uncredited

Jailed Prostitutes: Uncredited

Lawrence’s Campaign Workers: Uncredited

Lawrence & Banks’ Police Station Entourage: Uncredited

Cece (Lucille’s Aide): Uncredited

Journalists: Uncredited

Natural Rivers Now Representative: Caroline Williams

Lou’s Bar Extras: Uncredited

Police Station Extras: Uncredited

City Extras: Uncredited

Natural Rivers Now Office Extras: Uncredited

Beauty Salon/Nail Salon Extras: Uncredited

‘The Face:’ Rebekah Chaney

Unspecified Roles: Jeff Thomas, Shayna Ryan, Ryan Thomas Brown, Michael Barrett Caron, & Jason Carmichael.

Notes:  Curiously, this syndicated version of Mike Hammer isn’t a sequel to the 1984-87 TV series on CBS-TV.  Case in point: besides Williams’ character being identified by a slightly different name, the role of Hammer’s long-time secretary, ‘Velda’ has been re-imagined and recast with a younger actress.  More so, unlike Keach’s prior version, the mysterious ‘Face’ forever eluding Hammer is teased yet never resolved. 

REVIEW:

Lacking a network TV budget, 56-year-old Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer is still watchable – that is, to a modest degree.  With his hard-boiled gumshoe jailed for more than half of this episode (fair warning: this show’s loose concept of a jail cell is amusing), co-stars Shannon Whirry and Shane Conrad do okay work in their extended screen time.

Note: Considering the extensive beating Conrad’s Nick Farrell takes in one scene, it’s “amazing” how upon regaining consciousness moments later, he is physically unscathed. At a minimum, bruised ribs, a busted-up face, and a concussion would have occurred, had there been any sense of reality. 

With some tweaking (i.e. replacing the surplus of amateur hour detective genre antics with plausible noir), this standard-issue plot might have been a ideal fit for Keach’s 1984-87 Hammer – especially with Kent Williams playing ‘Lawrence D. Barrington’ again.  In this instance, however, both the not-so-impressive ensemble acting and the script hover merely upwards toward lukewarm – including a tasteless macho joke before the epilogue. 

If anything, given the broad hints in the episode’s second half, the ‘big reveal’ subsequently rates maybe a 3 at most on anybody’s 0-10 whodunnit scale. “A Candidate for Murder, overall, is low-rent, late-night viewing that proves easily forgettable the next morning.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                3 Stars

Note: Working a similar premise, Columbo’s 1973 “Candidate for Crime” (with Peter Falk & guest star Jackie Cooper) is a recommended viewing alternative – even if its last 15-20 minutes are far-fetched. 

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MIKE HAMMER, PRIVATE EYE: HOOP NIGHTMARES (Season 1: Episode 4)

SUMMARY:        RUNNING TIME: 43:17 Min.

Reuniting with producer Jay Bernstein, star (and co-executive producer) Stacy Keach resurrected Mike Hammer for a short-lived syndicated run of twenty-six episodes over two seasons in 1997-98.  This TV episode first aired on October 18, 1997.  Rex Piano directed the episode off screenwriter George Melrod’s script. 

Greedy sports agent Jeff King (Uncredited) is murdered one night at point-black range in his office.  The police’s prime suspect is the NBA’s inevitable number one pick in its coming draft: Mayron Hughes (Cross).  Referred to Mike Hammer by his ex-coach (Houston), Mayron desperately needs Hammer’s help.  With Mayron locked up for most of the episode, Hammer must decipher who the killer’s vendetta is really against: the slick-talking victim or Mayron himself. 

On and off the court, Hammer’s investigation leads him to King’s ambitious ex-girlfriend-turned-rival (Guzman), some of Mayron’s jealous on-court buddies, an unsavory merchandising hustler (Kane), and even Mayron’s own father.  Drawing closer to the murky truth, multiple retaliatory homicides finds Hammer and his protégé, Nick Farrell (Conrad), in the ensuing crossfire.

Mike Hammer: Stacy Keach

Velda: Shannon Whirry

Nick Farrell: Shane Conrad

Deputy Mayor Barry Lawrence: Kent Williams (appears in the title credits only)

NYPD (35th Precinct) Capt. Skip Gleason: Peter Jason

Maya Ricci: Malgosia Tomassi (Keach’s real-life spouse)

Blue Davis: Joe Bays

Mayron Hughes: Malcolm Ian Cross

Norrie Hughes: Conroy Gideon

Susan Wake: Alecia Guzman

Raheem: Mongo Brown Lee

Desmond: Billy Kane

Elvin Grace: Josef Cannon

Eddie Thomas: Fitz Houston

Jeff King: Uncredited

Joe McDonald (radio host – voice only): Uncredited

Street Thugs: Uncredited

Gleason’s Uniformed Cops: Uncredited

Susan’s Photographer: Uncredited

Photo Shoot Extras: Uncredited

Yoga Class Extras: Uncredited

Bar Extras: Uncredited

Police Station Extras: Uncredited

Gym Extras: Uncredited

Chinese Restaurant Extras: Uncredited

‘The Face:’ Rebekah Chaney (uncredited).

Notes:  Curiously, this syndicated version of Mike Hammer isn’t a sequel to the 1984-87 CBS-TV series.  Case in point: besides Kent Williams’ character going by a slightly different name, the role of ‘Velda’ has been re-imagined and recast with a younger actress.  More so, unlike Keach’s prior version, the mysterious ‘Face’ forever eluding Hammer is teased yet never resolved. 

REVIEW:

Even without a network TV budget, 56-year-old Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer is still watchable – well, sort of.  The same, unfortunately, doesn’t much apply to the episode itself.  Aside from Peter Jason’s fun police buddy, Keach’s youthful, on-screen sidekicks (Shannon Whirry & Shane Conrad) appear strictly as eye candy. 

Suffice to say, both this cast’s somewhat amateurish acting and the clichéd script heats up to only lukewarm.  At least, this episode deserves some credit for not resorting to some of its favorite tawdry gimmicks: scantily-clad women and unnecessary sex scenes for plot filler. As for this script’s whodunnit factor, it barely rates a ‘2’ on a 0-10 scale.  “Hoop Nightmares” is undemanding late-night fare, as viewers will forget about it long before morning.  

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                         3½ Stars

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HOUSTON KNIGHTS: NORTH OF THE BORDER (Season 1: Episode 2)

SUMMARY:      APPROX.  RUNNING TIME: 45:00 Min.

First airing March 18, 1987, on CBS-TV, Michael Vejar directed this episode off a script from Clyde Phillips & Stan Berkowitz.  As established in the pilot episode, fiery Chicago cop Sgt. Joey La Fiamma (Paré), due to a mob vendetta, has been recently transferred to Houston’s police department.  Acclimating to this humid environment, La Fiamma is occasionally at odds with his new partner, the cool-tempered Sgt. Levon Lundy (Beck), under the supervision of Lt. Beaumont (Douglass)

In the Mexican border town of Matamoros, slimy criminal defense attorney Farnum (Albert) sadistically {off-screen} kills a young prostitute, Lotus (Uncredited).  Local cop Gutierrez (Figueroa) and a blackmailing pimp (Meléndez) pursue Farnum back to Houston, as both are seeking payback for different reasons.  Despite intense friction with a vengeful Gutierrez, Sgts. La Fiamma and Lundy eventually pivot towards whom the real threat to public safety is.

Meanwhile, aside from her exasperation overseeing Lundy & La Fiamma’s troubled investigation, Lt. Beaumont copes with marital problems. She also personally knows the one vital witness who may be able to help bring a ruthless Farnum to justice.

Houston Police Sgt. Joey La Fiamma: Michael Paré

Houston Police Sgt. Levon Lundy: Michael Beck

Clarence (aka ‘Chicken’): John Hancock

Houston Police Lt. Joanne Beaumont: Robyn Douglass

Houston Police Capt. James Scully: James Hampton (appears in title credits only)

Lester Farnum: Edward Albert

Sgt. Estaban Gutierrez: Efram Figueroa

Serpiente: Tonyo Meléndez

Katie Loomis / Katie Pettybone: Doran Clark

Tommy Pettybone: Uncredited

Katie & Tommy’s Young Son: Uncredited

Brad Beaumont: Uncredited

Medical Examiner (Thurgood): Ron Pinkard

Officer Mallory: Richard Partlow

Bartender: Uncredited

Mexican American Prostitute (Houston): Uncredited

Farnum’s Client: Uncredited

Police Plainclothes Interrogator: Uncredited

Nurse: Uncredited

Various Cops: Uncredited

Extras (Matamoros): Uncredited

Extras (Pool Hall): Uncredited

Extras (Bar): Uncredited

Extras (Hospital): Uncredited

Extras (Public Park): Uncredited

Note: Beginning as a mid-season replacement, this 1987-88 CBS TV series last 1½ seasons.  Houston Knights was produced by co-creator Jay Bernstein, who had previously supplied Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer to CBS.

REVIEW:

As evidenced by this early episode, Houston Knights is a 1980’s moody-and-macho TV cop show relic that could have lasted a measly five episodes or just maybe even go a full season before cancellation.  Given the show’s generic cops-on-the-edge content, ultimately surviving for a total of 31 episodes proves a better network run than expected.       

Clearly meant to chase Miami Vice’s demographic, “North of the Border” turns up the ‘moody and macho cop’ quotient to nearly a full PG-13 blast – mostly through grim inferences and some surprising profanity (at least, by 1987’s prime-time standards). 

With Michael Paré and Michael Beck’s mismatched partners as a prime example, a decent cast, otherwise, inhabits familiar genre caricatures.  Paré’s one-dimensional La Fiamma, in particular, falls far short of imitating shades of Miami Vice’s Don Johnson. Beck’s low-key acting, by comparison, is more believable, but he, too, isn’t really given enough of a character to work with.

Still, this episode isn’t half-bad viewing, as far as pitching some gritty plot twists. In fact, the last of which is so blatantly illegal, in terms of abusing police custody, it’s the less said the better. This speaks to the storyline’s inherent problem: the plot isn’t nearly watchable enough to overcome all its implausibilities.   

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       4 Stars

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MATT HOUSTON: WHOSE PARTY IS IT ANYWAY? (Season 1: Episode 14)

SUMMARY:                       RUNNING TIME: 49:11 Min.

First airing on ABC-TV on January 23, 1983, Cliff Bole directed this mid-season episode off Larry Forrester’s script. The TV series’ flashy premise depicts the 30-ish, mustachioed Matt Houston (Horsley) as the son of a wealthy Texas oil tycoon. Loosely supervising his family’s vast business holdings from Los Angeles, the ruggedly suave Houston, otherwise, spends his free time as a freelance private investigator.

In this instance, per an unexpected telegram from his boss, Houston’s chief assistant, Murray (Wyner), has hurriedly prepped a posh cocktail party. The party is to be held at the Houston Building’s L.A. penthouse suite on a Sunday night. 

The esteemed guests consist of a top-caliber electronics genius (Brophy); an Indian Maharaja; a wealthy British aristocratic couple (Rush & Mulhare); and a high-profile actress/racecar driver (Stevens).  They are, of course, all expecting to commence lucrative business with Houston, Inc. Arriving last by helicopter, Houston and his attorney, C.J. (Hensley), are under the impression that Murray has summoned them for evening cocktails with the U.S. Vice President. 

Comparing fake telegrams, Houston, C.J., Murray, and their guests quickly realize that they have been collectively duped.  Worse yet, Houston’s penthouse suite has now been electronically sealed off, with all communications disabled.  Even the helicopter and C.J.’s reliable computer system have been cleverly booby-trapped. 

As their unknown captor taunts them with enigmatic video clues, Houston figures that someone among them must be the culprit.  Evidently targeted for vengeance, one suspect after another meets sudden death.  Given the ongoing hints, Houston must decipher the mystery re: what common denominator from five years ago links them all together.

Note: Late in the story, Houston recalls a past airport read that vaguely resembles Agatha Christie’s suspense novel, And Then There Were None.  Still, a specific plot twist he mentions off-hand – the order of victims among which the culprit pretends to be dead – implies that Houston had merely read somebody else’s copycat version.   

Meanwhile, at his young son’s First Communion party, LAPD Lt. Vince Novelli (Aprea) and Houston’s Texan buddies (Brinegar & Fimple) are increasingly concerned over Houston’s no-show.  Houston thinks a worried Novelli will be his much-needed back-up plan, but it might not work out that way.

Matt Houston: Lee Horsley

C.J. Parsons: Pamela Hensley

Lt. Vince Novelli: John Aprea

Murray Chase: George Wyner (a recurring series guest star before becoming a regular cast member)

Bo: Dennis Fimple

Lamar Pettybone: Paul Brinegar

Mama Rosa Novelli: Penny Santon

Joey Novelli: R.J. Williams

Maureen (Murray’s assistant): Megan Dunphy

Pam (Murray’s assistant): Cis Rundle

Durwin Dunlap: Kevin Brophy

Clover McKenna: Stella Stevens

Lady Celeste Abercrombie: Barbara Rush

(Brigadier) Sir James Malcolm Abercrombie: Knight Rider’s Edward Mulhare

Carl (LAPD officer): Richard Pierson

Maharaja: Uncredited

Brogan: Brett Halsey

Communion party guests: Uncredited

Additional Extras (in video news clips): Uncredited.

Trivia Note: After his Robert Urich-headlining Vega$ TV series was canceled in 1981, producers Aaron Spelling & Pamela Hensley’s husband, E. Duke Vincent, opted to replace Urich’s Dan Tanna a year later with another prime-time private detective: Lee Horsley’s Matt Houston. Just like Vega$, Matt Houston ran three seasons on ABC-TV prior to its own cancellation.

REVIEW:

What had once been legitimate shock value for mystery fans forty years before is crassly reduced by Matt Houston to pure ‘shlock value.’ If one has already surmised that the ridiculous script is a hackneyed (and unacknowledged) rip-off of Agatha Christie’s iconic And Then There Were None, then this episode’s silly plot twists won’t be much of a surprise. Yet, between a young Lee Horsley’s machismo – think early 80’s Tom Selleck, Texas-style (as opposed to acting talent) and a decent ensemble cast, this middling caper isn’t all half-bad.

Its major fault is that the clichéd premise is far too contrived in its execution – pardon the expression.  For instance, even the world’s greatest electronics/munitions expert (in 1983, no less) couldn’t possibly have rigged so many death trap gizmos, video displays, etc. in a mere afternoon undetected, at least, not single-handedly. Furthering such implausibility, one will be annoyed by a recurring electronic sound effect evidently recycled from 60’s-70’s cheapo sci-fi TV – supposedly, it’s the villain’s super-computer preparing for more deadly fun and games. 

Second, aside from astounding luck, two of the script’s ‘homicides’ would be impossible to pull off, in terms of timing and/or accuracy.  The less the said of one expendable character’s miraculous point-blank stabbing by a saber that just been discarded on the floor several feet away moments earlier the better.

A third (it’s cheap plot filler) is a laughably excessive catfight/fistfight between Stella Stevens’ and Barbara Rush’s stunt doubles.  Once finally depicting the actual actresses again, their immaculate hairdos, expensive dresses, and make-up appear barely disheveled.  The list of ridiculous plot holes could go on, but this mystery’s biggest wince belongs to Houston’s ultra-convenient recollection finally recognizing the players’ common link. There’s really no logic to his sudden deduction, given how often the wealthy Houston has claimed he’s baffled by their common enemy’s elusive identity. 

Ultimately, the sole asset of this dubious episode is still worth consideration. In spite of such a cliché-fest posing as a script, some credit goes to an entertaining cast, who even deliver a few comedy relief gags.  Viewers, in that sense, aren’t likely to fall asleep during this cheesy whodunnit. As a matter of practicality, though, the number of times one’s eyes will be rolling ought to provide sufficient exercise.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                   3 Stars

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WWF WORLD CHAMPION “NATURE BOY” RIC FLAIR (WITH “MR. PERFECT” CURT HENNIG) & THE UNDERTAKER (WITH PAUL BEARER) VS. SID JUSTICE & HULK HOGAN (WITH BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE) (WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event: Taped 1-27-1992)

SUMMARY:            RUNNING TIME: 11:42 Min.

On January 19, 1992, the WWF’s Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View would crown former NWA/WCW World Champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair with his first-ever WWF World Championship. Among the Rumble’s other finalists to determine the company’s new World Champion are former WWF Champions Hulk Hogan, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and the Undertaker, along with new WWF Intercontinental Champion “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. The last-eliminated, however, is Sid Justice (aka the NWA/WCW’s Sid Vicious), who subseqently gloats about his mentor Hogan’s fair loss.

Six days later, on-screen WWF President Jack Tunney’s faux TV press conference would confirm that four-time ex-champion Hogan as the challenger selected to face Flair at the upcoming WrestleMania VII for the WWF World Title.  Of the disappointed other contenders (Savage, Piper, Justice, and the Undertaker), Justice is shown openly seething afterwards – especially, as he himself had eliminated Hogan at the Rumble.

For this tag team bout recorded on January 27th, at the Municipal Coliseum in Lubbock, Texas, and then aired on NBC’s Saturday Night’s Main Event on February 8th, Justice willingly teams with Hogan against their two mutual main event foes.  At ringside are Flair and the Undertaker’s entourage of “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig and Paul Bearer. With his real-life parasailing accident acknowledged, a recuperating Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake accompanies Hogan to provide moral support in Justice and Hogan’s corner. 

The match commentators are Vince McMahon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, who readily predicts a rift brewing between Hogan and Justice.   

Notes: Later at this same Lubbock show, the Undertaker began his first face turn in a backstage ‘confrontation’ with cohort Jake “The Snake” Roberts to set up their encounter at WrestleMania VIII.

As for Sid, it is known that WCW had programmed him to score his first career World Title at Big Van Vader’s expense headlining Starrcade ’93. Yet, after WCW fired Sid, a reliable Flair substituted and consequently won Vader’s title. Sid, nonetheless, would win the WWF World Title twice in 1996-97, and then multiple WCW World Championships shortly before that company’s demise.

REVIEW:

Let’s examine, okay, let’s dismiss the trivial opposition first.  The lethargic ‘just doing what we’re told’ mentality demonstrated by Ric Flair and the Undertaker disappointingly falls far short of even the Twin Towers’ (Big Boss Man and One Man Gang/Akeem) monster clown show almost exactly three years before. It’s a pitiful display, as far as far as provoking one of many ‘shocking’ betrayals of Hulk Hogan during the WWF’s “Hulk-a-Mania” era. 

The buffoonish Twin Towers, at least, appeared enthused about igniting a final spark towards Hogan vs. Savage’s World Title showdown for 1989’s WrestleMania V.  By comparison, the Flair-Undertaker entourage evidently couldn’t have cared less, as showing up and taking a few rudimentary double-team moves is about as much as they accomplish. 

Then again, one will likely deem Randy Savage’s acting talents viciously turning on the Hulkster (both mid-match and backstage afterwards) makes him a veritable Oscar winner – whereas Sid’s amateurish theatrics don’t even merit a wet paper bag. As for Hogan’s own contribution telegraphing this blatantly obvious rehash, he musters the kind of superficial energy one might expect for the script’s table read. 

Considering the WWF’s déjà vu scripting, if one wants a high-profile yet paint-by the-numbers heel turn, then Savage and Hogan’s 1989 Mega-Powers meltdown remains a textbook example. Case in point: no doubt aware of WrestleMania V’s outcome, Hogan obvously has ample incentive to help push Savage’s scripted resentment and jealousy into a masterpiece of exploding rage over Elizabeth and the WWF World Championship.

Devoid of on-screen chemistry, the Hogan/Justice & Beefcake vs. the Flair/Undertaker squad’s sense of a live-action cartoon is more like thumbing through a cheap coloring book.  Given such an enormous waste of star power, this pathetic tag bout belongs among the laziest high-profile angles in WWF/WWE history. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                        2 Stars

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D-GENERATION X (“THE HEARTBREAK KID” SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H) VS. THE SPIRIT SQUAD (MITCH, KENNY, NICKY, JOHNNY, & MIKEY), WITH VINCE MCMAHON {2-on-5 Elimination Tag Match} (WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event: Aired: 7-17-2006)

SUMMARY:                      RUNNING TIME: 8:52 Min.

Recorded live on July 17, 2006 at American Airlines Center, in Dallas, Texas, this 2-on-5 elimination tag match pits self-involved fan favorite D-Generation X (“The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels & Triple H) against the entire Spirit Squad: Mitch, Kenny, Nicky, Johnny, & Mikey.  At the time, two members of this quintet shared the WWE World Tag Team Championship in rotation. 

This bout’s added stipulation is that each defeated participant will subsequently be locked inside a steel storage cage at ringside. Captaining the obnoxious Spirit Squad is “Mr.” Vince McMahon, who swaggers to ringside to personally supervise D-Generation X’s humiliation.  Providing match commentary are Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

REVIEW:

The entertainment quotient delivers with two charismatic ex-WWE World Champions steamrolling five cartoonish male cheerleaders and inevitably “Mr.” McMahon, one-by-one.  Case in point: a ringside air horn gag is hilarious, including Ross & Lawler’s input.

Taken as such, this match exudes superficial fun.  Yet, as insightful fans are aware, there is a dubious flip side.  Exerting possibly the most backstage clout in WWE history, Michaels and Triple H ensured that their ultra-smarmy antics would accompany a fast-paced rout.  In other words, the match’s one-sided choreography comes off as an ode to their own egos. 

Keeping such ‘reality’ in mind, this elimination caper is a crowd-pleasing comedy interlude.  Placating his company’s fanbase, it is even more telling how the WWE’s owner will degrade himself for ratings.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                   5 Stars

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MY TWO DADS: THE GOD OF LOVE (Season 2: Episode 9)

SUMMARY:                  RUNNING TIME: 22:00 Min.

Premiering on NBC-TV on March 15, 1989, this episode of “My Two Dads” was scripted by Chuck Lorre and directed by Andrew D. Weyman.  Returning home after a movie, Michael (Reiser) and Nicole (Keanan) bemusedly find Joey (Evigan) and a female friend (Keifer) naked in bed.  Joey’s legendary womanizing now has Nicole’s impressionable teen pals idolizing him. 

Worse yet, Nicole embraces being suddenly ultra-popular, seemingly for that same reason. As the situation becomes increasingly untenable, Michael must convince a skeptical Joey to publicly humiliate himself to right their family’s status quo.  Ultimately, it’s about pitching the right role models to Nicole and, by extension, her closest friends. 

Michael Taylor: Paul Reiser

Joey Harris: Greg Evigan

Nicole Bradford: Staci Keanan

Judge Margaret W. Wilbur: Florence Stanley

Ed Klawicki: Dick Butkus

Shelby Haskell: Amy Hathaway

Cory Kupkus: Giovanni “Vonni” Ribisi

Zach Nichols: Chad Allen

Max: Blake Soper

Nina: Altizah Wiener

Lacey: Holly Sampson

Jenny Slater: Elizabeth Keifer

Melinda Weller: Leslie Neale

Klawicki’s Other Customers: Uncredited

REVIEW:

TV screenwriter Chuck Lorre’s effort at teasing sex education for teens in “The God of Love” is cringe-worthy.  His script’s PG-rated sexist antics objectifying women as mere pick-up targets falls short of good intentions. More specifically, the story’s resolution is far too ridiculous to be of any practical help to a real parent.

Instead of a firm father-daughter sit-down discussion, sitcom logic evidently dictates that ‘Michael’ and especially ‘Joey’ take their time playing up off-screen promiscuity for middling laughs before finally getting around to some responsible parenting. Hence, two-thirds of “The God of Love” risks being almost unwatchable.  

This episode’s last few scenes, despite the ongoing silliness, are relatively good, including how guest star Leslie Neale angrily rebuffs Evigan’s smarmy “Joey,” much to the ‘shock’ of the teen characters.  Otherwise, even the cast’s usual charm doesn’t carry the insipid “God of Love” far.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                       3½ Stars

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