Written by Tom Peyer
Art by Duncan Fegredo; Richard Case; Dean Ormston; Ellie de Ville; & Alex Sinclair
Cover Art by Duncan Fegredo
SUMMARY:
Published by DC’s Vertigo imprint for February 2000, this 48-page one-shot has grungy conspiracy-theory loser Bernie Madden stumbling upon a possible apocalypse on New Year’s Eve before Y2K. Holding his nude ex-wife and her boyfriend hostage by gunpoint in their bedroom, Bernie reveals a bizarre misadventure he supposedly experienced just hours before.
Having scammed his way into John Constantine’s New Year’s party, Bernie makes a dubious impression on guests Animal Man; Shade the Changing Man; Black Orchid; Swamp Thing; Zatanna Zatara; & Cliff “Robotman” Steele. An inebriated Constantine rips Bernie with a painfully accurate personal assessment.
Already exasperated by his conversational nonsense, four heroes are bewildered that Bernie’s wacky conspiracy claims are explosively congealing outside, creating environmental havoc. It’s up to Black Orchid and Animal Man to resurrect Swamp Thing after he fails to contain the crisis. Ultimately, the heroes deduce who the common denominator for this catastrophe actually is, as they make a last-ditch effort to restore reality to its proper order.
A deranged Bernie has an epiphany about the mundane family life he neglected was far better than the wretched life he suffers now. Or is it?
REVIEW:
Describing Totems as ‘bizarre’ is an understatement. Aside from some eye-popping visuals (including Duncan Fegredo’s psychedelic cover image), there’s only limited appeal to the edgy Totems.
More specifically, Animal Man; Swamp Thing; Cliff Steele; and Black Orchid play pivotal roles. Yet, these characters compensate only so much for Bernie, who makes an utterly unlikable protagonist. The same applies to Constantine’s intriguing New Year’s Party, if only to see who all shows up in cameos. For instance, the sloshed Hellblazer’s brief exchange with an eye-rolling Zatanna Zatara is among the book’s few amusing highlights.
At the opposite end, the hostage segments involving Bernie, his ex-wife, and her current squeeze are especially squeamish, in light of their startling realism. To Bernie’s credit, the only admirable thing he does is remembering his young daughter is asleep in the next room. Bernie’s last stunt with the handgun, however, should also prove a last straw for readers, too. Not surprisingly, the fed-up boyfriend’s violent reaction seems spot-on.
Writer Tom Peyer also inserts plenty of casual R-rated profanity (including several F-bombs) to evidently bolster the ‘realistic’ dialogue, but this creative choice hardly bolsters one’s reading enjoyment. Though the artwork has some solid moments, Totems’ effort to meld a mentally-unstable conspiracy-theorist’s bleak reality with mind-warping, super-hero fantasy makes for weak and virtually nonsensical entertainment.
ADDITIONAL CONTENT:
The tale begins and ends with quotes from Voltaire’s Candide.
BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 3 Stars
