In tribute to the Star Trek movie franchise, Odd Moon Media Reviews offers its own candid assessment. Ignoring box office numbers, we will consider each Trek film’s watchability.
ANALYSIS:
13. I: The Motion Picture (TMP) (132 Min.+) 1979. Producer Gene Roddenberry stubbornly insisted upon peddling Trek’s answer to 2001: A Space Odyssey, no matter the cost — let alone deeming every colorful asset the TV series once had as insufficient for moviegoers. Hence, Roddenberry’s cast and viewers are both stuck with a vastly overblown and condescending retread of the Season 2 episode: “The Changeling.”
It’s no wonder the sumptuous F/X fail to salvage a middling plot where the cast’s icy performances are totally inconsequential. Even the reliable Kirk-Spock-McCoy chemistry is forced to convey ‘big screen tension’ rather than welcome fans back to Trek.
Worse yet, revamping everything from the U.S.S. Enterprise model on down to the drab, gray-footed pajamas posing as Starfleet uniforms sterilizes TMP past the point of no return. Sadly, even forty-some years later, The Motion-less Picture remains a surefire cure for insomnia.
12. V: The Final Frontier (105 Min.) 1989. In most aspects, Final Frontier is a far worse film than TMP. From a blandly derivative plot (i.e. loosely resembling Roddenberry’s unproduced “The God Thing” concept) to Jerry Goldsmith’s recycled musical score, Leonard Nimoy’s tired acting, weak gags, and the franchise’s absolute worst F/X, Final Frontier pitches far too little that is fresh to viewers.
The sole reason it even scores a slight nod over TMP is that director/writer/star William Shatner tries to entertain fans, no matter how ineptly – whereas TMP actually dares to lull viewers to sleep. How exactly Shatner’s team squandered the franchise’s largest budget (during the II-VI era) remains a mystery, but his basic premise of sending out the U.S.S. Enterprise out in search of ‘God’ was doomed to fail from the get-go.
On a positive note, Hiroshima’s fusion jazz tune, “The Moon is a Window to Heaven,” is a welcome treat on the film’s soundtrack.
11. X: Nemesis (117 Min.) 2002. Given four years to forget the lackluster Insurrection, there should have been an infinite number of ways to satisfyingly conclude The Next Generation. Aside from finally marrying Riker & Troi, Nemesis inexplicably fails to deliver any of them. Resorting to a clichéd assortment of the TV show’s old sub-plots (i.e. a Data duplicate, mind-rape, etc.), Nemesis even swipes Wrath of Khan’s best twist, but its execution invariably falls flat.
Although both farewell films depict dark vibes, a critical difference distinguishing Undiscovered Country from Nemesis is the geriatric original cast’s concept of a classy exit. The Next Generation’s cast, in contrast, appears bored in what they evidently sense is a clunker finale. Their instincts aren’t wrong.
10. IX: Insurrection (103 Min.) 1998. One shouldn’t blame director Jonathan Frakes too much for floundering, especially given the bland script producer Rick Berman and his screenwriting team dealt him. Much like Final Frontier, Insurrection’s fable-like plot is merely an unnecessary sequel and, for that reason, the less said the better.
9. XIII: Beyond (122 Min.) 2016. For a 50th Anniversary celebration, Beyond falls far short of anything special. A nod to the original cast and the J.J. Abrams’ cast sharing of Kirk’s iconic TV series voice-over are classy touches, but the plot, otherwise, displays nothing justifying the film’s awe-inspiring title. Probably what’s worst is a clichéd twist re: the Enterprise’s fate (for the third time in thirteen films) that confirms Beyond’s screenwriters couldn’t think nearly enough outside the box – pardon the expression.
8. XII: Into Darkness (132 Min.) 2013. Already far too derivative of Wrath of Khan, director Abrams insists on shoveling even more fan service (i.e. look for winks at The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark) versus concocting a genuine sense of originality. Worse yet, squandering Nimoy’s last appearance as Spock doesn’t help matters, either. Still, had Benedict Cumberbatch been instead cast as a vengeful Gary Mitchell in an re-imagining of “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” then Darkness might have been an impressively sinister follow-up to 2009’s reboot film.
7. VII: Generations (118 Min.) 1994. Make no mistake: Generations is a high-concept movie lacking sufficient substance to save the dubious Nexus gimmick being pitched to audiences. Opting for a ham-fisted approach to justify its unnecessary ‘passing the torch’ mantra, the contrived script merely checks boxes on Paramount’s insisted to-do list promoting The Next Generation into the big leagues. Producer Rick Berman and his handpicked screenwriters’ lack of movie experience is all too evident, as Picard’s Enterprise crew awkwardly shifts into big-budget heroics.
Case in point: with the exception of Patrick Stewart (and Brent Spiner’s mostly annoying performance), the disinterested cast demonstrates minimal effort. William Shatner’s grinning last ride as ‘Captain Kirk’ is his weakest Trek acting; even so, his star power readily outshines his castmates. While Jacqueline Kim’s Demora Sulu is a welcome treat, the weakly-conveyed prologue squanders her introduction in setting up Generations’ storyline. Just the sight of James Doohan’s Scotty during the prologue reciting stilted techno-babble (one suspects from off-screen cue cards) is cringe-worthy. Worse yet, Data’s nerve-grating struggles later on with an emotion chip provide even less incentive to witness the historic Kirk-meets-Picard arc.
Only occasionally fulfilling the studio’s grand intentions, Generations is a mostly mediocre Trek. There’s just no mistaking how the Next Generation’s cast and crew tread their way through a middling, if not preposterous, storyline and uninspired CGI. In retrospect, had the producers instead utilized the Guardian of Forever concept and recruited Joan Collins for a poignant cameo, a reworked Generations could have supplied an ideal 30th Anniversary film in 1996. That way, a nostalgic (and far less ridiculous) premise could have heralded the Next Generation’s 1994 film debut.
6. III: The Search for Spock (105 Min.) 1984. Competent but hardly great, Search for Spock spells out that it was produced solely on soundstages. It’s little wonder why the supposedly lush Genesis Planet looks so underwhelming. Designed as a direct continuation of Wrath of Khan, the film’s bleak tone is peculiar, as it instantly contradicts Khan’s concluding sense of optimism.
Various plot holes (i.e. Starfleet’s sudden scuttling of the 40-year-old (not 20-year-old) Enterprise; Federation cadet Saavik’s promotion to Grissom’s lead science officer; the total absence of competent Federation security at the Genesis Planet; etc.) chip away at a cookie-cutter storyline sorely missing Nicholas Meyer’s scripting. The same applies to Nichelle Nichols’ under-utilized Uhura, as she isn’t even allotted a solo scene depicting her escape from Earth to Vulcan.
Unlike the film’s expedited pace, Vonda McIntyre’s solid novelization explores unused sub-plots (i.e. David & Saavik’s ill-fated romance; Scotty’s family grieving over his nephew’s death during Wrath of Khan and subsequent blaming of Kirk; a newly promoted Sulu losing out command of Excelsior’s trial runs to Captain Styles, etc.) that would have been intriguing to see play out on-screen, even if only for a few extra minutes.
Such what-if’s contribute to director Nimoy’s biggest obstacle (far more than blandly recasting Kirstie Alley’s Saavik), which is that even he can’t hurdle over such a predictably convenient plot.
5. VI: The Undiscovered Country (110 Min.) 1991. Though it’s a welcome upgrade over Final Frontier, Undiscovered Country suffers its own self-inflicted detriments. Besides director Nicholas Meyer’s gleefully eye-rolling excess of Shakespearian quotes, the cast’s coolly detached acting and too many lethargic moments bog down this movie’s entertainment value as a galactic political thriller. Hence, the film is practically blinking in neon that this storyline will be the last adventure for Kirk’s crew – just like it’s hyped in the superb film teaser that co-star Christopher Plummer narrates.
Still, along with George Takei finally receiving his due, the original cast proves it still has potent magic left. That’s why Undiscovered Country’s last few minutes are absolutely worth waiting for. It’s the gracious bow that Kirk’s generation deserves. Speaking of which, Kirk’s last Captain’s Log entry is a far more eloquent and appropriate ‘passing of the torch’ than the heavy-handed Generations.
4. VIII: First Contact (111 Min.) 1996. Aside from a deliberate continuity glitch (James Cromwell’s cantankerous Zefram Cochrane isn’t even close to The Original Series incarnation), First Contact generally succeeds on all thrusters. Adapting a militaristic action style reminiscent of 1986’s Aliens, the storyline pitting Picard’s new Enterprise vs. the time-traveling Borg is well-played. Frakes, in his big-screen directorial debut, delivers all the necessary goods for the franchise’s 30th Anniversary.
3. IV: The Voyage Home (122 Min) 1986. Cleverly playing off the cynical mid-80’s, Voyage Home is Nimoy’s comedy masterpiece that retains its family-friendly charm decades later. Utilizing well-played humor and poignancy, Voyage Home is undoubtedly the franchise’s classiest installment. Considering the script’s original premise meant to co-star Eddie Murphy, the first-rate teamwork between Nimoy, Meyer, & producer Harve Bennett recrafting this inspired storyline speaks for itself.
2. (XI): Star Trek (127 Min.) 2009. Scoring big originality points, Abrams’ first Trek sorta-prequel is, by any definition, a resounding triumph. Exemplified by Zachary Quinto’s new Spock, the reboot cast is mostly in excellent form. Yet, Nimoy is its true MVP, as his poignant credibility selling the film’s alternate past concept accomplishes exactly what obvious paycheck efforts from Shatner, James Doohan, & Walter Koenig failed to do endorsing Generations.
And, unsurprisingly, the best Star Trek flick is:
1. II: The Wrath of Khan (113 Min.) 1982. The bottom line is the inspired cast, Meyer, and Bennett’s production team all bring their A-game, which reinvigorates the franchise. More significantly, Wrath of Khan conclusively proves that Trek wouldn’t need Roddenberry to thrive in the future.
In closing, thanks in large part to Nimoy & Meyer (Treks II, IV, & VI), the argument that even-numbered Treks best odd-numbered Treks among the first several films appears valid.
Yet, one can only speculate what Abrams or somebody else will conjure up come Star Trek XIV. Following Abrams’ inspired reboot, enormous budgets didn’t keep his two sequels from sliding down Hollywood’s mediocrity slope. Perhaps a collaboration teaming Abrams & Meyer finally makes sense? Considering that Abrams worked with Lawrence Kasdan on the Star Wars: The Force Awakens, this notion isn’t impossible. Thanks for reading!
