In tribute to the James Bond movie franchise, Odd Moon Media Reviews offers its own candid assessment. Ignoring box office numbers, we will consider each Bond film’s watchability. The twenty-six movies will be ranked in reverse order.
Note: 1967’s spoofy Casino Royale has been excluded. Ranking it against other Bond films would be the equivalent of comparing Airplane! to the disaster genre it parodies.
ANALYSIS:
26. A View to a Kill 130 Min. (1985). Oozing wasted potential, View confirms seven Bonds wasn’t a lucky number for Roger Moore, who was nearing sixty at the time. Unfortunately, Moore’s Bond conveys to hapless View-ers that they’re getting an aging playboy actor instead of the timeless British secret agent playing out this misfired adventure.
Marred by sloppily edited (and logic-defying) stunt sequences, not to mention, the phoniest-looking ‘spy submarine disguised as an iceberg’ in movie history, View’s quality control is too often dreadful. Case in point: with Moore unconvincingly filming his close-ups from a studio, the eye-rolling pre-credits sequence set in Siberia is the worst-produced in franchise history.
Between hidden explosive charges detonating exactly on cue, as Moore’s stunt double passes by on a makeshift snowboard (this visual looks so movie set-fake), let alone the cringe-worthy presence of The Beach Boys’ “California Girls” narrating part of the chase, Bond’s ultra-campy Siberian getaway foretells how crummy Moore’s last Bond caper will really be.
Then again, does anyone really care to watch Bond’s icky romance play out with the far-younger Tanya Roberts (sporting a mid-80’s peroxide blonde dye job)? Or rationalize that the villain’s blimp could actually sneak up behind Roberts’ hapless damsel-in-distress to abduct her?
Boasting a superior premise to either Moonraker or Diamonds Are Forever (think Goldfinger for a mid-80’s audience), View’s ineptitude insists on squandering this welcome advantage. Keeping Christopher Walken & Grace Jones as the villains, View’s great ‘what-if’ would have been refurbishing the same script for Timothy Dalton vs. weakly accommodating Moore’s long-overdue exit. Consistent with a franchise trend, Duran Duran’s dynamite title song far exceeds this dreck impersonating a Bond film.
25. Diamonds Are Forever 120 Min. (1971). Big-budget producers best take heed: watch Diamonds (and/or 1983’s Superman III) to grasp why crummy camp humor ruins sequels. After the somber On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, this half-hearted overreach at making Bond fun again instantly falls flat. Returning from a four-year hiatus, Sean Connery appears to have aged at least a decade since 1967’s You Only Live Twice.
Saddled with an insipid script, the worst-ever Bond Girl (Jill St. John), and the weakest Blofeld (Charles Gray), Connery’s indifference only exacerbates this snooze-fest’s shortcomings. As with Moonraker, a classy Shirley Bassey tune can’t hide a dismal Bond adventure.
24. Moonraker 126 Min. (1979). Lazily exploiting Star Wars mania, the recycled script merely rockets 1977’s The Spy Who Loved Me‘s premise into orbit. Among the fatalities of this ludicrous ‘Bond in Space’ plot is reducing Spy’s formidable ‘Jaws’ (Richard Kiel) to a kiddie favorite worthy of The Addams Family’s Lurch. As Bond’s rival spy, frosty scientist/astronaut ‘Dr. Holly Goodhead’ (Lois Chiles) is a dull Americanized clone of Spy’s alluring ‘Agent Triple-X’ (Barbara Bach).
An excess of derivative sci-fi cheese (i.e. the laser gun shootout) becomes as inevitable as the Roger Moore era’s stale assortment of quips and gimmicks. Still, this movie’s most cringe-worthy mistake is the demise of Corrine Cléry’s effervescent Bond Girl — as Moore’s irritatingly smug Bond couldn’t care less abandoning her to a grisly fate. The film doesn’t even bother to mention her again — had the plot carefully done so, perhaps seeing Bond’s conscience flinch over failing to save his temporary accomplice/love interest would have imbued this movie with a welcome touch of humanity.
Aside from Moonraker’s scenic locales, only Shirley Bassey’s dreamy title song is salvageable. To Bassey’s credit, she somehow projects a poignant analogy between finding one’s ideal soulmate in marriage with, of all things, a space shuttle.
23. Die Another Day 133 Min. (2002). Concurring with other reviewers, the film’s sole plus is Halle Berry’s spinoff-worthy ‘Jinx.’ As for Pierce Brosnan, by condoning the plot’s preposterous excesses (i.e. the invisible car), he unwittingly makes himself Die Another Day’s fall guy. Desperately upping the big-screen ante to surpass The Bourne Identity and Mission Impossible, several tone-deaf gambles (i.e. Madonna’s unnecessary cameo; the villain’s racial identity swapping) sabotage Brosnan’s fourth Bond past the point of no return.
Unlike Roger Moore (with 1981’s For Your Eyes Only following Moonraker), Brosnan wouldn’t be afforded the same opportunity he deserved to redeem the franchise’s dignity. Blame for this high-concept mess should square land on the director, the misguided screenwriters, and, of course, the producers. As proof of Die Another Day’s awfulness, just subject yourself to Madonna’s title song. And the less said about John Cleese’s scene as the new ‘Q’ the better.
22. The Man With the Golden Gun 125 Min. (1974). Aside from its weak, disco-flavored title song, Golden Gun’s ultra-contrived, comic book plot is the least remarkable in franchise history. The corkscrew car stunt is still astonishing, but such obvious choreography doesn’t improve Golden Gun’s clunker script. Case in point: why must the lame plot insist upon supposed comic relief per Clifton James’ dim-witted Louisiana bayou sheriff from Live and Let Die?
Still, it’s amusing to see guest baddies Christopher Lee & Hervé Villechaize resembling a sinister precursor to Mr. Roarke and Tattoo on Fantasy Island. In the end, the sole practical benefit coming out of Golden Gun is that it effectively cures insomnia.
21. Live and Let Die 121 Min. (1973). The franchise’s first rock song, courtesy of Paul McCartney & Wings, is the one enduring asset of Roger Moore’s first Bond. Otherwise, Let Die is a schlock-fest overloaded with cringe-worthy gags meant to cash in on the era’s African American exploitation films. Aside from an overlong boat chase, only Yaphet Kotto’s intriguing effort as ‘Kanaga/Mr. Big’ proves notable. Kotto frankly deserved a better film, along with Moore coming aboard as Connery’s long-term successor.
20. Octopussy 131 Min. (1983). Gorgeously produced in India, this congenial caper should have made an ideal exit for Moore’s Bond – mostly, due to his chemistry with co-star Maud Adams. Yet, Octopussy’s sluggish pacing and its general absence of thrills makes watching this sleep-inducing film too much of a chore. The lifeless pre-credits teaser is proof itself.
19. Spectre 148 Min. (2015). For all its excesses, Spectre mistakes intense violence as a substitute for coherent storytelling. Worse yet, rebooting the Bond vs. Blofeld feud into a glorified sibling rivalry makes zero sense. Ultimately, Spectre’s running time prolongs the weakest plot of Daniel Craig’s five Bonds by at least fifteen minutes.
18. Licence to Kill 133 Min. (1989). Imbued with an edgy Miami Vice-like vibe, Timothy Dalton’s second-and-last Bond film is a precursor to Daniel Craig’s gritty style launched by 2006’s Casino Royale. Though well-produced, even its terrific stunt work doesn’t make the humorless Licence fun to watch. Notes: Licence to Kill was the first Bond film with a PG-13-rating. Another first was that this film went with an original title, as opposed to reusing one of Ian Fleming’s story titles. The film’s British title is License Revoked.
17. Never Say Never Again 134 Min. (1983). Aided by a likable supporting cast, this breezy caper exploring Sean Connery’s Bond as a middle-aged relic is campy enough without being stupid. Rebooting Thunderball, Connery’s reliable charisma compensates for Never Again’s lack of franchise polish (i.e. the gun barrel walk; a first-class title song; the presence of Lois Maxwell & Desmond Llewelyn; etc.).
Despite its troubled production history (i.e. lawsuits and on-set turmoil), Never Again re-establishes that, when Connery was on his game, he was still the definitive Bond.
16. Tomorrow Never Dies 119 Min. (1997). Even its original title sounds disappointingly routine. Though Michelle Yeoh is a welcome presence, Tomorrow is a master class in paint-by-the-numbers, formulaic Bond storytelling. Brosnan’s comfort zone as Bond (plus a classy visit from Desmond Llewelyn’s ‘Q’) helps compensate for routine paycheck efforts from the supporting cast, particularly Jonathan Pryce & Teri Hatcher.
Other than the ultra-choreographed motorcycle stunt work, the disappointing Tomorrow takes too few risks to energize viewers. It’s a decidedly lukewarm encore to Brosnan’s exciting debut in GoldenEye.
15. You Only Live Twice 117 Min. (1967). Though he is hardly inspired, Twice is still the best of Connery’s three Bond exits. The allure of its exotic Japanese setting is probably the movie’s best asset. Growing more outlandish closer to the end, Twice’s SPECTRE-themed plot succeeds in establishing the Bond vs. Blofeld feud.
Note: Long predating Twice, Agatha Poirot’s pulpy 1927 Hercule Poirot novel, The Big Four, curiously sports some similarities of a worldwide terrorist organization like Blofeld’s SPECTRE.
14. The World is Not Enough 125 Min. (1999). Denise Richards’ ridiculous miscasting as a nuclear physicist is the primary reason why World falls well short of this list’s Top Ten. Brosnan’s third Bond is far better than Die Another Day, but it doesn’t ever surpass 1995’s GoldenEye. The inspired pre-credits sequence and Desmond Llewelyn’s final scene as ‘Q’ stand out as this movie’s best.
13. The Living Daylights 131 Min. (1987). Overcoming a convoluted Cold War-flavored plot, Timothy Dalton’s debut is satisfying entertainment bringing his no-nonsense Bond to life. For purists, The Living Daylights is far more traditionally Bond-like than Licence to Kill.
12. Thunderball 130 Min. (1965). Even more than Goldfinger, Connery’s Bond goes into full comic-strip mode (i.e. the jet-pack sequence). Though the underwater sequences bog down its pacing, Thunderball is plenty good to inspire its 1983 remake.
11. No Time to Die 163 Min. (2021). Unmistakably, this one concocts the franchise’s worst title. Far more overindulgent and self-involved than Spectre, its sequel, at least, succeeds in completing Daniel Craig’s epic five-film run. In particular, classy homages to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is a welcome aura linking Craig’s Bond to the comparatively modest Connery-Lazenby era.
10. Dr. No 109 Min. (1962). Making every penny of its million-dollar budget count, Dr. No holds up well. Hungry for a hit, a young Connery’s star power is worth the price of admission alone. The only flinch-worthy element is the racially stereotypical way Bond’s Cayman Islander ally, Quarrel, is portrayed.
9. Quantum of Solace 106 Min. (2008). In a direct sequel to 2006’s Casino Royale, this underrated film gets lost in the shuffle preceding Skyfall and Spectre. Even if it doesn’t possess as much octane as Craig’s other Bonds, Quantum of Solace easily surpasses the second Bond efforts from Brosnan, Moore, and Dalton.
8. Skyfall 143 Min. (2012). As much acclaim as this film merits, the climax is surprisingly formulaic, in terms of relying upon action-genre clichés. Still, Craig’s Skyfall delivers all the necessary goods, including Adele’s top-caliber title song and introducing most of Daniel Craig’s new MI-6 supporting cast.
7. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service 142 Min. (1969). Overcoming its new lead actor’s inexperience and a leisurely running time, George Lazenby’s sole Bond is the franchise’s classiest entry. With Diana Rigg as the most respected Bond Girl ever, Majesty is a mature spy film any adult can appreciate – especially, if one isn’t a fan of either Connery or Moore.
6. From Russia With Love 115 Min. (1963). Featuring Connery’s best-ever Bond performance, From Russia With Love is exquisite entertainment. It works as both a first-class 60’s spy movie and a wistful Cold War romance.
5. For Your Eyes Only 127 Min. (1981). As gritty as Roger Moore’s Bond would ever get, this scenic film delivers stunts of nearly every stripe: helicopters, car chases, skiing, underwater action, and mountaineering. Even its camp humor somehow works, no matter how cheesy it gets. Moore’s second-best Bond film makes for ideal entertainment.
4. GoldenEye 130 Min. (1995). A six-year hiatus following Licence to Kill makes a world of difference. Director Martin Campbell transforms Pierce Brosnan’s first Bond into a dazzling upgrade for the mid-90’s. Brosnan’s instant credibility as a seasoned Agent 007 is arguably the most spectacular debut in franchise history. Justifying a considerable budget (it’s at least double that of Licence), GoldenEye’s every penny goes to impressive use. Hugely entertaining!
3. Goldfinger 110 Min. (1964). Goldfinger risks being overrated considering Sean Connery’s Bond is held prisoner on a Kentucky horse farm for much of the movie’s mid-section. Still, as most of the franchise’s best gimmicks originate here, Connery’s presence selling them to viewers makes Goldfinger top-caliber fun among the 60’s spy thrillers.
2. Casino Royale 144 Min. (2006). Martin Campbell strikes again. Glamorizing brutally fast-paced, Bourne Identity-style violence, Casino Royale confirms that Campbell can stir two totally different Bond cocktails with equal aplomb. Daniel Craig’s raw intensity is impressive in this muscle-heavy makeover of Bond’s first 00-mission. Casino Royale readily earns its reputation as one of the most pivotal Bonds.
and winning the Number # 1 spot:
- The Spy Who Loved Me 125 Min. (1977). Partially lifting You Only Live Twice’s Cold War plot, this Roger Moore caper often goes can-you-top-this? in becoming the franchise’s all-time crowd-pleaser. With Moore’s playboy Bond in peak form, every creative element – the stunts (including the iconic pre-credits teaser finish), the set pieces, the villains, Carly Simon’s theme song, campy humor, you name it, etc., falls perfectly into place. Highly recommended!
Note: For ideal Cold War comedy relief, double-feature options could include either 1976’s The Pink Panther Strikes Again or 1980’s Hopscotch.
