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AGATHA CHRISTIE’S TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1989)

SUMMARY:                   Running Time: 1 Hr., 38 Min.  

Filmed on location in South Africa, this 1989 Cannon Films remake is directed by Alan Birkinshaw.  Agatha Christie’s suspense thriller is now re-imagined taking place in a remote African safari during the mid-1930’s.  Like the original 1945 film adaptation and two subsequent remakes, some character details have been altered while loosely adapting Christie’s classic mystery. 

For instance, the novel’s self-righteous British spinster Emily Brent is now the fussy, middle-aged American actress, Marion Marshall. The names and nationalities of the general and the doctor have also been altered without actually changing their personalities. Hence, the characters from Christie’s novel/stage play are mostly intact, including their alleged crimes. One oddity, as a comparison to other versions, is that this group of ten now inexplicably consists of a composite of Americans, Central Europeans, and the British.

Soon isolated by a native tribe and with their radio disabled, the ten bewildered guests are trapped as human prey for their unseen host: U.N. Owen.  Owen’s predatory reliance on the “Ten Little Indians” nursery rhyme foretells their doom., with the lyrics being noticeably emphasized this time.  Not only is their camp surrounded by dangerous jungle wildlife (i.e. tigers and lions), these captives are subsequently executed one-by-one for ghastly crimes they are accused of committing.  Can anyone evade Owen’s bloodthirsty wrath?    

Judge Wargrave: Donald Pleasance

Marion Marshall: Brenda Vaccaro   

General Romensky: Herbert Lom

Vera Claythorne: Sarah Maur Thorp

Capt. Phillip Lombard / Jack Hutchinson: Frank Stallone

Blore: Warren Berlinger

Dr. Werner: Yehuda Efroni

Elmo Rodgers: Paul L. Smith

Mrs. Rodgers: Moira Lister

Anthony James Marston: Neil McCarthy

U.N. Owen’s Voice: Uncredited

Notes: Producer Harry Alan Towers actually filmed Ten Little Indians” three times: the other instances being 1965 and 1974.  Set in a wintry chalet in the Alps, his 1965 black-and-white “Ten Little Indians” stars Hugh O’Brian & Shirley Eaton.  Using “And Then There Were None” and, in some alternate versions, “Ten Little Indians,” as the title, his 1974 version is set at an abandoned hotel in the Iranian desert, where Herbert Lom portrays the doctor amongst an all-European cast. 

Of interest is how Towers’ increasingly muddled remakes mixes-and-matches with both Christie’s novel and her stage play, the semi-parody 1945 film, and inevitably his own 1965 film’s plot variations and name changes.     

REVIEW:

Any residual shock value dating back to 1945’s And Then There Were None has long since evaporated.  Filmed on the cheap, some authentic scenery delivers this 1989 clunker’s sole asset – a possible second is a ham-fisted effort trying to convey the bone-chilling horror of Christie’s novel (ironically, the film’s credits only reference her sanitized stage play). 

What’s devoid from this somewhat grisly potboiler is any semblance of deductive reasoning by the captives/suspects or even a believable descent into cold fear/paranoia amongst the dwindling survivors. For that matter, why exactly the killer chose these specific targets is ignored. Case in point: when this U.N. Owen’s captives all too thinly reveal their past sins, no one bothers to question their accounts – worse yet, Lombard’s backstory once again isn’t even provided.

Additional missteps in basic logic effectively sabotage this film (i.e. Why do the supposedly human-hungry lions and tigers briefly seen early in the film evidently vanish?  Given the limited technology of the 1930’s, how could this U.N. Owen have researched all these old crimes in different countries? Aside from Christie’s convenient ‘twists’ aiding the culprit, the film’s variations bungle them in such ways where it’s likely impossible to commit at least one of the murders.).  Such unforced gaffes subsequently ground Christie’s iconic whodunnit into pulpy cinematic sludge.   

As for the cast’s performances, it’s a mixed bag.  Hollywood veterans Pleasence, Berlinger, Lom, and, to a degree, the young Maur Thorp (resembling Elizabeth Perkins) are watchable – give them some credit for trying.  Of them, Lom reliably makes the most of his limited screen time while Pleasence knows how to play subtle creepiness. Of minimal help to them is George S. Clinton’s passable musical score that lends some sense of a period piece mystery the film sought to be.  

As for the other castmates: Stallone, Vaccaro, Efroni, Lister (eerily resembling Gilligan Island’s Mrs. Howell, no less), McCarthy, and Smith’s clichéd aura of menace all hover between underwhelming to eye-rolling, amateur hour-caliber performances.  Usually an extra in his older brother’s movies, Stallone is dubiously cast as a romantic stock hero in the mold of Allan Quatermain.  Yet, his bland macho presence still surpasses veteran character actress Vacarro, who disappoints in a paycheck-only effort.        

Watching this theatrical flop is really about the curiosity factor, if anything.  The question is: how much patience should Christie’s fans muster?  Enduring this dreck once is plenty, but its potential (i.e. the safari novelty) for a better film is sporadically visible.  Otherwise, this Ten Little Indians is convincing proof of Hollywood’s law of diminishing returns — too many remakes inevitably erode masterpieces into formulaic schlock. 

Note: For a suspenseful “Ten Little Indians”-type safari, try 1996’s “The Ghost and The Darkness,” starring Val Kilmer & Michael Douglas.

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING: 2 Stars

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BDC
October 2020