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WCW LAST-MAN-STANDING, OVER-THE- TOP MILLIONAIRES’ CLUB VS. THE NEW BLOOD BATTLE ROYAL (WCW Thunder: Aired 5-3-2000)

SUMMARY:                 RUNNING TIME: Approx. 26:12 Min.

At the Mid-South Coliseum in Memphis, TN, this street fight battle royal served as the main event for WTBS’ WCW Thunder TV episode on May 3, 2000.  Reminiscent of the NWA’s anything-goes Bunkhouse Stampedes of the late ‘80’s, participants wear ‘street clothes’ and the New Blood faction brings blunt weapons of choice.  Baited by “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, the New Blood’s Eric Bischoff agrees that the last-standing participant scores a WCW World Heavyweight Championship title shot at the Great American Bash Pay-Per-View the following month. 

The vastly outnumbered Millionaires’ Club is led by Flair.  Joining him are “Diamond” Dallas Page; Sting; Hulk Hogan; “The Total Package” Lex Luger; Curt Hennig; Horace Hogan; “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan; Chris Kanyon; Hugh Morrus; and KroniK (Brian Adams & Bryan Clark).

With 20-25 guys, Bischoff and Vince Russo’s New Blood army consists of: Jeff Jarrett; Billy Kidman; Harlem Heat’s quartet (including Booker T, Stevie Ray, & Tony Norris – the WWE’s ex-“Ahmed Johnson”); Tank Abbott; Mike Awesome; Van Hammer; Ernest “The Cat” Miller; Chris Candido; Shawn Stasiak; Marcus Bagwell; Vampiro; Scott Steiner; Konnan; Johnny the Bull; Disco Inferno; The Wall; Bam Bam Bigelow; The Harris Brothers; and Norman Smiley. 

Additional guest stars includes: Bret “Hitman” Hart; Madusa; Mona; Asya; Tammy Lynn Sytch; and, in his final WCW appearance, “Macho Man” Randy Savage (who had abruptly exited WCW soon after Road Wild ’99).  Ominously mentioned as ‘locked away’ by Russo, Miss Elizabeth does not appear.   

The match’s commentary team consists of Tony Schiavone, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, & “Iron” Mike Tenay.

Notes: As a parental advisory, this free-for-all includes man vs. woman violence.  RE: stars not included: for The Millionaires’ Club, among them are Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious, Rick Steiner, & Barry Windham; for the New Blood, one could mention, for instance, Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, and Sean O’Haire. Goldberg’s absence, at the time, was due to an extended injury leave.

REVIEW:

Let’s review the backstory first.  By mid-2000 (WCW’s last full year of operation), World Championship Wrestling was in freefall, both creatively and financially.  Out of desperation, a hapless WCW rehired ex-boss Eric Bischoff and one of his failed successors, Vince Russo, to co-manage the promotion; this uneasy partnership, suffice to say, lasted a few months.   

Their short-lived ‘big idea’ was to vacate all championships and forcibly reboot the company in a variation of its profitable 1996-99 WCW vs. New World Order (NWO) mega-feud.  Including several of its biggest-name NWO alumni, the company’s aging main eventers (aka ‘The Millionaires’ Club’) were pitched as lumbering yet sympathetic babyfaces. 

The snarky villains would be WCW’s suppressed young talent, with veterans Jeff Jarrett and Shane Douglas cast as its in-ring leadership.  Predictably, Russo and Bischoff doubled as the New Blood’s gloating on-screen masterminds.

As with Bischoff’s NWO, such a concept had been lifted from Japan, so there was a successful precedent.  Further, pitting two wrestling generations’ legitimate resentment/animosity against one other seemingly made good sense on paper, at least from WCW’s perspective.    

Here’s the rub: Ted Turner’s WCW too often didn’t grasp long-term planning, let alone foresee fallout from ultra-stupid booking (i.e., 1990’s Capitol Combat: The Return of Robocop).  Once Bischoff and Hulk Hogan transformed WCW into their hugely expensive playground, such bone-headed decision-making gradually shifted to the rule vs. being forgiven as misguided exceptions. 

Case in point: subsequently ceding creative authority to an ultra-selfish Hogan and Kevin Nash, among others, a series of ludicrous programming blunders became the obvious culprit for WCW’s eroding fanbase. Still, if all went well, this overbooked Bunkhouse Stampede featuring nearly the entire roster would then justify how Russo & Bischoff programmed WCW’s upcoming summer Pay-Per-Views.    

Spelling out WCW’s dumpster fire mentality, unfortunately, this grungy, all-star gang warfare is best skipped.  Veterans, such as Page, Jarrett, and even a fifty-year-old Flair (in a dress shirt and slacks, no less), muster decent fight choreography for TV.  It isn’t nearly enough to overcome Russo & Bischoff’s blatant disrespect for pro wrestling fans’ intelligence.  Whatever their motives were, this smug duo appears on-screen practically gleeful peddling trash to disinterested WCW audiences.      

For instance, despite the varying camera angles, it is impossible to tell which unaffiliated ‘mercenary’ is on which side – invariably, some even switch sides. More so, the match’s chaotic nature doesn’t show when or how several participants (especially late-comers) enter and/or leave the ring. Perhaps these confusing match elements were meant as bits of shades-of-gray realism, but they certainly fall short of watchability.

One element, however, is inevitable: WCW’s tone-deaf squandering of mega-star talent on its payroll, especially as outside inference.  For instance: off WCW television since Fall 1999, a jacked-up, 47-year-old Savage’s unexpected return initially pays off.  Yet, Savage’s half-hearted series of running double-ax handles on the opposition implies how far his renowned mobility had diminished.  Teasing that the “Macho Man” had resumed active duty, his one-shot presence leads to nothing – aside from a brief reunion of the Mega-Powers.

Another unnecessary eyesore is Bret Hart’s own brief contribution.  To epitomize his disappointing WCW tenure, Hart’s chair-swinging actions, let alone his murky allegiance, make no sense to the supposed plot.  Lastly, the company’s worst sleaze is the New Blood’s gang-style violence perpetrated against female wrestlers (and vice-versa).   Faked or not, such visuals come off as an utterly putrid display packaged as so-called “entertainment.”

If anything, this ugly battle royal is a master class in wasting the still-considerable talent pool that WCW had under contract – both its past-their-prime legends and the supposedly rising New Blood horde. 

BRIAN’S ODD MOON RATING:                  1½ Stars

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BDC
October 2020